ICYMI: It's great being different

It's difficult to find really good content to watch on Netflix, Hulu etc. if you are a Lesbian. While I love binge watching shows like Grace and Frankie (I love Grace and Frankie) because it's genuinely funny and deals with a lot of the issues of ageing women like me, being a lesbian I want to watch other Lesbians on the small screen in the comfort of my lounge room.

You know I love Hallmark schmaltz especially at Christmas time but you don''t get gay Christmas movies and I get tired of watching straight people get it together and have happy endings in rom-coms and we Lesbians and other queer people miss out.

There is one Lesbian Rom Com Christmas movie being released in the US supposedly on November 2020 starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis in time for Christmas this year. Hopefully this will be the case.

"Happiest Season" will follow Stewart and Davis’s romantically entwined characters as they head on home to a family gathering hosted by Davis’s folks. Stewart has big plans to propose to her girlfriend while they’re celebrating the holidays, but everything goes wrong when she finds out Davis hasn’t ever come out of the closet to her conservative family.

If you want to watch three under-rated LGBTQI shows these are cool especially if you want Lesbian content like I do. So here are some ICYMI great shows for Lesbians. If you want true binge worthy then you can't beat this quirky, culturally diverse show called Never Have I Ever.

Never Have I Ever is an American coming of age comedy-drama television series starring Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi Vishwakumar , a 15-year-old girl from Sherman Oaks, California. The show is created by Mindy Kaling of the Mindy project and Lang Fisher. The comedy is partially based on Kaling's real childhood story, growing up in the Boston area.

It's funny, quirky, poignant and full of teenage angst and it also has real depth to it as it deals with real issues of grief, trauma, PTSD and growing up culturally diverse in a foreign land as a migrant.

It's about being Indian in America but it's about so much more. It's about teenage friendships between girls and also friendships with the opposite sex. It's about awkwardness and insecurities and lying to appear cool.

Never Have I ever covers the norms of teenage romance and delves deeper into what it's like to be authentic and truly be ourselves even at a young, burgeoning age. Devi, tests those boundaries all the time in Never Have I Ever.

It even features the legendary tennis champion John McEnroe (who is one of the narrators of the show) in one of it's many quirky twists. Devi's Dad is obsessed with John McEnroe without giving too much away.

Never Have I Ever is a melting pot of good things and though the protagonist Devi can be a tad annoying at times, what she is going through allows you to forgive her, her insecurities. Devi has a monopoly on teenage awkwardness with some truly cringe worthy moments that are handled graciously by those around her. Her friends seem to be able to handle their emotions with more self assurance than Devi can muster.

If you don't watch the show for any other reason, watch it because Devi has the most awesome therapist played by Carol Denise "Niecy" Nash. I'm a therapist myself and Niecy's character of Dr. Jamie Ryan is truly entertaining. She is authentic and real. I won't say anymore than that.

The best part of the show is the friendship between the three girls and their support of each other when times get tough. At times Devi's lack of support of her friends, because her own life and her grief is so complicated gets in the way of her friendship with her two best friends. They need Devi as much as she needs them because their lives too are complicated but in different ways to Devi's. Devi, in the meantime is too preoccupied with chasing her crush Paxton Hall played by Darren Barnett.

Paxton at first seems like a mindless jock who only cares about himself, but when you dig deeper, there is a caring soul underneath his superficial beauty. You just need time to get to know him and he reveals himself and his depth over the course of the series.

Devi's two closest friend's are Fabiola played by Lee Rodriguez and Eleanor played by Ramona Young who are also culturally diverse and have their own range of family issues to deal with. They are both likeable characters as is Devi's neighbour Ben who is a lonely, nerdish geek. His parent's are rich and just leave him to his own devices or to be cared for by his house keeper while they travel the world.

Devi is headstrong as is her mother Doctor Nalini Vishwakumar, played by Poorna Jagannathan. They are both coming to grips with tragedy and they often clash because their views on how to handle grief are so vastly different and they don't see eye to eye on life in general. Devi does not feel loved or wanted by her Mother.

Devi struggles with the traditional Indian values imposed upon her when she is trying to fit in and live as a teenager in a modern society like America.

Kamala, played by Richa Moorjani, Devi's cousin who lives with Devi and her mother is a funny, innocent young woman destined for an arranged marriage but bucks against the traditional Indian system and wants to be independent and also the good Indian girl. She is witty and entertaining simply because of her naive charm. You get to witness the push and pull between being traditionally Indian versus being independent in America.

There is a strong LGBTQI theme throughout most of the ten episodes though it's not a purely a gay show, there is plenty on offer for both queer and straight alike.

Never Have I ever deals with many pertinent issues in a funny, sometimes simple, sometimes complex way and has so many great characters. It is incredibly moving in many episodes and don't be surprised if you shed a tear or two especially in the last episode of this ten part series when the family's grief culminates in a genuinely, heartwarming way.

I hope there is a second season because it's just a great show that keeps your interest piqued at all times.

The second under-rated binge worthy show is Feel Good. This is also a short series with only six episodes, so you can binge on it all in one night if you want to.

Recovering addict and comedian Mae tries to control her addictive behaviours and intense romanticism that permeate her life. Her efforts are complicated by a new and all-consuming relationship with her new girlfriend, George.

It is comedian Mae Martin's semi-autobiographical story of her relationship with a British woman who, until their romance, considered herself straight.

It is a British show set in Manchester with filming also in Blackpool and London. Mae is Canadian but living in the UK. Lisa Kudrow from Friend's fame plays Mae's neurotic, harsh and critical Mother. When you meet Mae's mother you begin to understand why Mae is an addict.

Again Like Devi in Never Have I Ever, the protagonist Mae is annoying with her neurotic behaviour, or maybe because I am a therapist I don't want to watch more neurotic behaviour at night because I deal with it a lot during my working day. Mae is single, in recovery and stuck in a rut until she meets George.

The supporting characters are great, especially George, her previously heterosexual girlfriend who, like all of us, has issues but seems well equipped to work things through, unlike Mae. She appears quite mature for her age in comparison to Mae, who loses it much of the time. The contrast in the characters is quite entertaining and you do grow to love Mae's vulnerability. It's quite sweet and who amongst us has it all together? Right?

George can't and won't come out to her friends that she is in a relationship with a woman and hence complications arise with Mae.

Sophie Thompson as Maggie, Mae's Narcotics Anonymous (NA) sponsor is a gem. She's whacky and all over the place and at first appears like a really poor choice as a sponsor. Complications also arise when Mae gets to know Lava (Ritu Arya ) Maggie's daughter, who is also a member of the Narcotics Anonymous meeting that Mae and Maggie both attend. The situation between Mae, Lava and Maggie is very funny.

It's a lovely romance where George is Mae's soft place to fall and her safe harbour as she goes through the recovery process from a few addictions. Mae like Devi suffers from all sorts of insecurities and is awkward too but it's all part of her charm.

Like Never Have I ever, this show is quirky and full of complications and complex characters and complex situations but it's also about love and the need in us to be loved. The theme in both shows is that through our insecurities, awkwardness, grief, pain, trauma, need to be loved we are all human and vulnerable in whatever way it shows up.

It's hard not to be touched by the vulnerability of the characters illustrated in the story lines of both shows.

The last episode is really touching and this six part series is definitely worth watching just in case you missed it.

The third under-rated and by far my favourite binge worthy show that I love watching is The Fosters. I am currently on my third time of watching the show that has five delicious seasons. Yes, you heard me right, five seasons with an average of twenty episodes in each season. So unlike the other two shows, which have only have ten and six episodes in their first season. The Fosters takes a long time to watch all fives seasons with it's multitude of episodes. For me, that's the best part because I get to relish the story lines and the characters for a very long time.

The two main characters are a lesbian couple so do you know how rare it is to be able to see a lesbian couple on television over five seasons? So rare, so thank goodness for the Fosters.

At first,I had a hard time watching The Fosters because of all the relentless drama. I know some people like watching tense, drama filled shows but I need a break from all that once I finish my working day.

Jennifer Lopez together with Peter Paige and Johanna Johnson is one of the executive producers of the show.

At the start of season one each episode was just one catastrophe after another and I didn't think I could stick with it. I'm glad I persevered with the show though because in all the drama it covers so many appropriate issues relevant in our society today. Not that you need to persevere as it's good from the start - it's just a personal thing with me and too much drama. Lesbians can be known for their drama. Just ask any Lesbian and they will tell you.

The Fosters is about a Lesbian bi-racial couple Stef and Lena (one is white and the other is bi-racial -Afro American and White). Stef is a cop and Lena Vice Principle at a Charter School called Anchor Beach. The Foster's is set in San Diego. The show is about the two women and their multi-ethnic, blended family.

Stef has her own biological son Brandon from her previous marriage to Mike (also a cop and her police partner) before realising she is a Lesbian. Stef and Lena also have Mexican twins Jesus and Mariana who they adopted when they were small children.

Brandon is a brooding, often self indulgent, self pitying teenage boy. Not my favourite character in the show but he does come in handy for interesting storylines and he has had some serious underlying parental issues to deal with especially around his biological Father Mike.

Are you following so far?It's complicated I know.

The real kicker is when Lena agrees to take in another foster kid called Callie (played by Aussie Maia Mitchell) in an emergency situation and then subsequently her younger brother Jude. Taking in Callie and Jude to start is a temporary measure but as the family grows attached to the troubled duo, and wants to adopt them both, the family of five grows quickly grows to a family of seven.

Both Stef and Lena have enormous hearts and are both wonderful Mother's in the show. Both actors (Terri Polo and Sheri Saum) are straight in real life but the onscreen chemistry between the two, playing Lesbians is both natural and at times explosive and hot. You can feel the genuine love and respect they have for each other behind the scenes. They have both openly expressed that in many interviews I have watched on Youtube about the love they have for each other and the genuine chemistry you see and feel on the screen.

The story lines cover all sorts of issues mainly around the Foster Care system which has a lot to answer for. It starts with what's lacking and what's wrong with the Foster Care and juvenile detention justice system and all the many injustices prevalent in both systems.

The show covers violence, addictions, prostitution and child sex trafficking in the Juvenile Justice system and what happens to foster kids around the USA. Some of it is truly heart breaking but it also has lots of hope and good outcomes so it's not all doom and gloom.

The show has a heavy emphasis on relationships generally. It looks at issues pertaining to bi-racial relationships, gay and transgender relationships, the difficulty with co-parenting and living in split homes, budding teenage relationships both gay and straight and teenage sexuality.

It focuses on teenage safe sex and educates on STI's (sexually transmitted diseases). It covers issues on racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia all with grace and poise. It illustrates all the ups and downs of both heterosexual and gay relationships and the stresses of raising a family. It emphasises issues related to ageing, illness and death.

It's not all hair raising and drama. It also has some funny, poignant and beautiful moments. The story lines are always engaging and keep you watching. Some episodes bring the tissues as they are tear jerkers that's for sure.

Rosie O'Donell features prominently in the show and I love her character Rita who runs a group home for girls. Rita is all heart and passionate about making a difference in the lives of wayward girls who have been abused, neglected and abandoned. She never judges them and always shows the girls in her care so much love and compassion at the same time holding strong boundaries with them. She sometimes puts herself in danger in order to protect the girls in her care.

There is a strong theme in the show about justice and doing what's right and when we can't save ourselves the need to save others, no matter what the cost. Callie's character in particular is always fighting for justice and will do anything to help any stray that comes her way almost always at the cost of her own safety and well being.

Callie makes misguided and poor choices all the time but the intention behind them comes from an extremely loving heart. She continually puts herself in harms way in order to save the vulnerable people around her. Callie has a strong saviour complex. She can't save herself so she will try to save anyone who comes her way that needs her help. She's only sixteen so it comes from a place of being both street smart and innocent and naive. At times she is Stef's greatest nightmare but both Lena and Stef love her unconditionally and that's what makes a real difference in Callie's life.

That's the issue with being in the Foster Care system or being adopted, you are always waiting to be abandoned and both characters, Callie and Mariana suffer from this angst. They are both prone to the terror of being abandoned, Callie more subtly than Mariana, who is overt in her constant fear of being abandoned.

Stef and Lena provide a rock solid foundation for all their kids, no matter what through all the ups and downs and all the hurdles and obstacles, family is everything to Stef and Lena and their blended tribe.

I think the thing that moves me most about The Fosters is the concept of family. The Fosters family is dysfunctional yes but there is a lot of love between them and they are resourceful and somehow pull together to make things work. It's a bit like Parenthood on Hulu (another binge worthy show) which has six seasons and is again about a large, dysfunctional family, with lots of drama and highs and lows but who always manage to pull together when the chips are down and there is a deep love for one another.

Both The Fosters and Parenthood often make me cry and touch something deep inside of me which is the longing for a normal family. Neither family is a "normal"family (what's normal anyway?) but there is love and unity and maybe that's what I'm always searching for.

I am definitely drawn to shows where people work together, are resourceful and there is unity. Sometimes Stef and Lena struggle to find unity in their marriage and with how they parent and this is realistic in relationships but they seem to find a way to eventually pull it together.

Though I was never in the Foster Care System, my younger siblings and I were wards of the state after our parent's murder/suicide and didn't know where we were going to live and i can totally relate to living in a blended family but my family of origin were not able to pull it together without extreme abuse.

The beautiful things about The Fosters is all those children know that they are loved and wanted. I grew up with five personality disordered people, where it wasn't about being loved or wanted , it was about being used and manipulated for their ends and never about caring or loving their children.

When you grow up with people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it's never about you, it's always about them and their needs. In The Foster's there is never doubt about how much love there is in that family and it's beautiful to watch.

Stef and Lena are by no means perfect, (because perfect parent's or perfect anything doesn't exist) but they will do anything to protect their kids and their children know they are loved no matter what crazy shenanigans they get up to and that there are strong boundaries around their safety and that's what matters most.

The relationships and interactions amidst the varying story lines are often so touching and I get teary to see the softness and care between the siblings and the two Mum's towards their kids. This is the way families should be, even through all the dysfunction. It's not about money or status or anything else it's about the ability to love and feel loved by those who raise you.

The Foster's is full of complications but love wins out in the end as it should. I won't say too much as wouldn't want to give anything away and it's not all happy endings but love and family always triumph in this show and that's a good thing.

There are way too many kids being abused out there in the world and those who open their hearts and homes to abused and neglected kids should be applauded. The Foster's is a very real portrayal (sometimes too overly dramatic) of what it's like to grow up as an abused, abandoned and neglected child but like Mae in Feel Good, finding your soft place to fall.

I'm drawn to watching movies and TV series where things work out, not in unrealistic fantasy or some romantic happy endings but more realism where through all the adversity things come together, are transformed and do simply work out. The Foster's has so many ups and downs but generally there are a good outcomes and some great happy endings.

There is a spin off show from The Fosters streaming on Hulu called Good Trouble which focuses on the now grown up Callie and Mariana from the original series.

The two young women have moved away from home and are living in Los Angeles in a communal home with a bunch of people. The characters in this show are also complex but overall likeable. Good Trouble also hooks you in as the concept of communal living in LA is fascinating.

The sense of community between all of them and again how they pull together in support of each other is touching.

Not as good as The Foster's (some of the original character's from The Fosters do make cameo appearances including Stef and Lena) but good none-the-less as a stand alone series and it's worth checking out.

So in case you missed it there are quite a few, under the radar shows, some current and recently released and some from way back that are truly binge worthy and make you want to stay home and help you to cope with lock down or isolation during these very weird times.