'Family Matters' revisited: The absentee parents of Steven Q Urkel

In 1989 the character of Steven Quincy Urkel was introduced to the ABC sitcom, Family Matters. Jaleel White portrayed the lovable nerd who was a thorn in the side of his next-door neighbors the Winslow’s. Steve and his antics became very popular and increased the ratings of the show. You can still enjoy Family Matters thanks to syndication. The TVOne network has currently been running multiple daily episodes of Family Matters for over a year. If you are a fan you should tune in, reminisce, and have a few laughs.

In rewatching the classic episodes of this beloved series I observe things that I either missed or did not put much thought into during the original. One of them came to be recently and it actually was quite startling, I realize that not all fans of the show will feel the same way, but I put this out there to give the readers something to think about. Family Matters is a comedy and has a lot of satire and I know it is not supposed to be taken too seriously. There is a running theme, however, that got lost within the jokes and the comradery of the cast. Perhaps we all should have given more attention to it.

The issue that I am processing is that Steve Urkel’s parents neglected and eventually abandoned him. During the run of the series, it became apparent that Steve's mom and dad did not enjoy spending time with their son. This was written ina way so that it came across as humorous but really was a troubling matter. Mr. and Mrs. Urkel often went away on business conferences or family vacations without Steve. They either forgot to take him along or left him home alone on purpose.

Perhaps they thought that leaving him to spend time in the basement with his wacky inventions was a way to boost his creativity.There is no way to know what these people were thinking because they never showed up on the screen. There was one early episode where Carl and Steve's dad got into some type of altercation off-screen and Urkel tried to defend the honor of his dad. in a dream sequence, Carl and Steve were going to have an old west shootout.

Dr. Herb Urkel and his wife Diane Roberta Urkel were never ever shown, although Jaleel White portrayed an array of male and female Urkel cousins. There was one episode where Steve is in a photo being held by his mother but you can barely see her face. Steve was always jokingly implying that his parents treated him just like everyone else, which was to find him annoying. The audience went along with the gag which is obviously what the writers desired. When he decided to learn to drive a car Steve asked Carl Winslow to teach him. When Carl inquired as to why Urkel did not ask his parents, Steve gave a startling yet humorous reply.

He said that his mom and dad had an aversion to cars because he was born in one. The audience laughed and I did too, each time I viewed this episode. Truthfully this really was no laughing matter and actually was quite ironic. During the last season of Family Matters, Carl and Harriet Winslow officially adopted a little boy named 3 J who was in a foster home because his mother, a drug addict, abandoned him. Both Steve and 3J ended up living in the Winslow home, but for very different reasons. One situation came across as humorous while the other was taken very seriously.

Another episode that got a lot of laughs was after Steve created his alter ego, Stefan Urkelle. Carl asked his pesky neighbor what his parents thought about the new addition to the family and received an interesting reply. Steve said that Stefan was being introduced to the grandparents that he, himself never met. Once again, along with the television audience I roared with laughter. Now, as I watch the reruns, I realize this was very sad. Steve’s parents were ashamed of him to the point that they embraced Stefan who was created and rejected Steve who came from their own bodies. They also did not acknowledge their son's creative genius.

When Steve's parents went away to Russia the Winslow's had pity on him. Again Isay, it's only television and not made to be taken too seriously but Family Matters paints a very vivid picture. Carl, Harriet, and mother Winslow became the parents and grandma that Steve needed. If you paid attention over the years, Carl’s mother Estelle was the only person who was always happy to see Steve and had a kind word for him every time they met. Another thing to consider is that Steve was smitten with Laura yet he was allowed to sleep in her home and no one ever thought he would try anything with her.

The Winslow’s became the family that Steve needed and they helped him grow to a point where he was less Urkel and a bit more Urkelle. This is when Laura realized she loved him after all. Herb and Roberta gave up on their son and lost out on seeing their nerdy little boy turn into a man. They indeed were absentee, neglectful, and actually abandoned Steve. He did not allow any of this to deter him and kept his focus on winning the love of Laura. In the end, he got the girl and the entire Winslow clan in the process. I would say that Herb and Roberta were the big losers in more ways than one.

Everyone followed the lead of Steve Urkel, based on the manner in which his character was written. Steven Quincy downplayed the neglect of his mother and father and presented himself to the Winslow family as if it did not matter. This is why they, along with the television and viewing audience laughed along with the geeky teen. There was no big fanfare as there was when 3J was officially adopted but Steve was unofficially welcomed into the Winslow home after years of being misunderstood. That's the most important issue of all.