Amanda Seales Is My Guru

I wanted to start this blog with an introduction as to how I found this woman who is making a name for herself in Hollywood and who has have a huge impact in my life. I have typed and erased and typed some more but nothing was sticking to what I have in mind as to approach this writing ode to a star. Bringing me back to a time where I had written a letter to two of my favorite actresses at the time, I find myself nervous. I don't want to sound like I'm obsessed. Will she even read this? Why, Why, WHY!! Telling myself that this is no big deal. I am one of millions of fans who are in awe of the work that this woman has done and with her new book, she's a shooting star that I look up to. Insecurities envelops me as I try to figure out how to express to an unlikely person that they mean the world to me and that I truly view her as the "Oshun" of my time.

Approaching this anxiety-ridden venture, I am now sitting in front of the computer and staring at a blank screen. Praying to my ancestors to suppress my excitement of the idea that she will read my letter to her and be moved, I breathe. Without further or due...

A Letter to the Great Amanda Seales!

Dear Amanda Seales,

Thank you, first and foremost, for taking the time to read this letter. This is not a letter acquiring a job with you, even though, that would be a honor. This is a letter from one of many millions of women... black women that are truly appreciative of all the work you do through your art and the advocacy you do for the community.

I am a 30 year old Nomad. Yes, Nomad. I never had a place to call home, only remnants of what home could possibly feel like. When I found you, I had just moved to the city of Philadelphia and have been figuring out how will I successfully transition from life on the West coast to the East. Uncertain of my future, I had gone to the web and had saw your Instagram page. Seeing your other works like, Insecure, I had noticed that I had seen you before throughout the years. Not being up to date on things, I had found myself gravitating to listening to Podcast vs. TV.

Ms. Seales, before I had heard your podcast, I had little knowledge of my culture as a whole. Have had traditional American education, the knowledge that you would broadcast on your channel was my daily teachings. As one would have a devotional, Small Doses has became my go to for weekly topics. Expanding my elementary knowledge of my own culture, you had given me a hunger to learn about myself as a African descendant of this country. You have allowed to question everything that had been taught to me throughout the years and begin to build my own understanding of the world around me.

The one thing that I admire you for is your strength through the media adversity. You continue to rise over all the negative conversations that are being had about you. You are able to face injustice head on with style and grace. You are raw. You are real. You are what I wish to see in every person whether black or white.

I was there at your "Smart, Funny and Black" tour in Philadelphia, three rows away from the stage. When you came out to the stage, I broke down and cried. I had worked so hard to save enough money to see you, though events leading up were not as I had pictured; I had physically saw you and I couldn't help but cry. To me, the experience was equivalent to seeing the late, great Dr. Maya Angelou with a mix of Angela Davis live. I was truly beside myself and I couldn't help but watch you and match your energy. Days later, I was still talking about the experience and eager for other to know who you were if they hadn't already.

Ordered your book, I have been eager to see when you will be in the city of Philadelphia again for a book signing. Like the live show, I am already preparing for when that time may come. Will I be cool and calm or will I fan-girl out. Fainting at your feet or ugly cry in your presence; possibilities are endless. The one thing, however, is be able to tell you how I feel. Maybe this would be the best way in doing so. With that being said...

Thank you for being a voice for people who are otherwise quiet

Thank you for calling people on their bullshit so they can be aware a choose to be better or change

Thank you for teaching me worldly lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise gotten in the traditional textbook.

Thank you for saying the things that has been swarming throughout my head.

Thank you for truly giving me the realness of the current climate of race relation in the states and how to navigate through without loosing myself or my values/goals/dreams in the process.

Thank you for the unsolicited advice even when it's too difficult to stomach.

Thank you for being unapologetic, encouraging me to be as well

Thank you for being authentic and true.

Thank you for allowing me to get in touch with my nerdy side.

Thank you for helping me accept my own personal truths whether good or bad

Thank you for encouraging me to be a better ME!

Just Thank You! You don't know the extent in which you change my life. A "oreo" with no path to go, you have made it in which being ok, is ok. I continue to learn so much from you that I see you a guru of sorts. A make-believe friend in my life that I listen to with every release of a podcast or Breakfast Club interview. I pray on your continued success and strength for all of time. That your guides continue to be on your side and keeps you covered in tranquility and safe. Continue blessings and love, Queen! I hope that you do make your way to Philadelphia again, I would love to shake your hand.

Your biggest fan,

Jackie