Just a young woman who writes freely, from the mind...holding nothing back.
Seriously?!?! Why do I even do this to myself? Kara thought to herself as she looked at the message that her flavor-of-the-week had sent to her in her inbox. Her and Malcolm had been going "steady" for seven months and Kara was ready to move the relationship to the next level.
Grey or Gray areas... Nothing in life is EVER black and white. It's funny how the universe works and as of late, I have been tapping in and tuning into what the universe is saying to me. What I have gotten so far, outside of little coincidences, is that I have had a concrete mindset in viewing everything. From the powers to be all the way down to the pregnant teen, my mindset will not waver when it comes down to my beliefs. In a way, it has worked well for me, allowing myself to expand my horizons and thought processes when presented a situation since open-mindedness is something I find great strength in having. In having that belief, I have also been on the end where I would sit frustrated or angry in the way that my mind actually thinks. Exhausting most of the time, My mind is left in a "thought" mess and no matter what I do, I can't see the "Grey/Gray area."
Amanda Seales Is My Guru
I wanted to start this blog with an introduction as to how I found this woman who is making a name for herself in Hollywood and who has have a huge impact in my life. I have typed and erased and typed some more but nothing was sticking to what I have in mind as to approach this writing ode to a star. Bringing me back to a time where I had written a letter to two of my favorite actresses at the time, I find myself nervous. I don't want to sound like I'm obsessed. Will she even read this? Why, Why, WHY!! Telling myself that this is no big deal. I am one of millions of fans who are in awe of the work that this woman has done and with her new book, she's a shooting star that I look up to. Insecurities envelops me as I try to figure out how to express to an unlikely person that they mean the world to me and that I truly view her as the "Oshun" of my time.
I'm Not a Writer; I Just Write
Phew! Let me just start off saying that this post, like many ones that consist of rambling thoughts but all, somehow, circle back into each other. This particular post is a deeper explanation on the idea of me identifying myself as a "writer" and this perfectionism idea that runs rapid through my head when I am approached with a question of "How do you identify myself as a writer?" Further, the question regarding my writing and my process still leaves me with responding in the most humble response I can muster.
Philadelphia Eagles: My American Team
Fall or Autumn, whichever you call it, the season is the beginning of one of the greatest sports in human history: football. The crispness of the breeze as built men all gather onto the field, to gain points which leads to a trophy and numerous accolades. Yells and joyous canter echoing through the stadium as one sees the progression in which of their teams in the end will bring home a win, while the other team leaves with nothing but anger and disappointment. The balance that this sport has is what I look forward to every season, outside of Pumpkin-flavored everything and Halloween.
This past Wednesday, I had what would be considered a mental crack. Not a complete breakdown, but I had broken down throughout the day. Waking up on my day off, I had experienced a series of fluxes in my emotions that all lead up to me feeling empty and overflowing with tears. You may be wondering why or even when did I figure out that I was mentally cracking. Through the tears and anguish, I had begun to search out, to figuring out the reasons why. Why was I so damn sad when everything around me has been going well? Why was I feeling so empty that mustering the feeling of being "full" was a difficult task, especially in the things that had been going very well for me?
Gentrification: A Viewpoint
Philadelphia is all that it was known for, from the LOVE sign down to the infamous cheesesteaks. Though all of those things were well and good; the bad was just as equal in the amount that happens in the city of Brotherly Love. With every success that came with the city, the failures and realities were much greater. Even as a young child, I knew that the city that birthed me had a strong duality to it. I would run up the infamous Rocky stairs only to walk down the old, piss-smelled subway tunnel to head home to the "hood." Neighborhood Murals done by non-profit organizations that have beautiful concepts is only to be mirrored by street artists paying tribute to a fallen homie. Artists tags their calligraphy, etching their existences in high places throughout the city. No one wants to be forgotten, erased out of history yet as I ride through the city; I see otherwise. History and beauty illuminate throughout every corner of Philadelphia.
Is It Hard to Walk Away?
Gia felt like her brain was going to explode. Whether it was a mix of today's stresses of life or just... hearing Lai and Sebastian go at it with each other over the phone, her temples had begun to throb. It was the tale of her best friend's current "situation-ship." Every good thing that was going on, Gia would hear about it. Every bad... Gia would hear about it. Wishing that she was deaf, she listened and advised, yet Lai would take her advice of leaving him alone. On this day, she had decided to take Lai out to eat, and while they were "catching up," Sebastian called and the fireworks had begun.
The Institution of Marriage: Yeah, OK?
I'm sure the title looks misleading, possibly cynical—and maybe it is. Yet, at this period of my life, I have not made it to the infamous cornerstone of life's journey; Marriage. The old holy union between two lovers that had concluded that they want to do this thing call life together until death. The very thought of it, right now, makes me laugh. Gut-clutching laughter. That's pretty dark. It might be, however, looking at my life; I haven't had great examples of marriage. Along with being possibly on the end of what many married people seek; the adulteress. I can't help but crack the hell up.
"Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
Throughout history, women have been known for their mothering nature. The caregivers. The nurturers. The ones that are to raise the next generation in hopes that their offspring can change the world. Making it much better than how they were possibly leaving it. Although those traits are good, there have been women throughout history who had taken a different approach. In recent years, we have seen women step up and take their power back from the male oppression in which beliefs have branched into the everyday consciousness. We as women are coming for the man's metaphorical "throat" by showing that we possess more than what men have given credit for.
A Hood Healer
I have been exploring the realms of spirituality and what it means to me in my life. For the last 30 years, I have been tirelessly trying to follow the paths of Christianity. Being groomed in the churches and the endless repeats of bible verses, I still struggled to find my place in religion. As I continue to grow older, I am left with more questions than answers regarding religion and why was I following the teachings it begot. I didn't know why I was Christian, other than it was what my grandmother was. I had gone to school that foundations were started in the church, it was all that knew.