Seriously?!?! Why do I even do this to myself?
Grey or Gray areas... Nothing in life is EVER black and white.
I wanted to start this blog with an introduction as to how I found this woman who is making a name for herself in Hollywood and who has have a huge impact in my life. I have typed and erased and typed some more but nothing was sticking to what I have in mind as to approach this writing ode to a star. Bringing me back to a time where I had written a letter to two of my favorite actresses at the time, I find myself nervous. I don't want to sound like I'm obsessed. Will she even read this? Why, Why, WHY!! Telling myself that this is no big deal. I am one of millions of fans who are in awe of the work that this woman has done and with her new book, she's a shooting star that I look up to. Insecurities envelops me as I try to figure out how to express to an unlikely person that they mean the world to me and that I truly view her as the "Oshun" of my time.
Fall or Autumn, whichever you call it, the season is the beginning of one of the greatest sports in human history: football. The crispness of the breeze as built men all gather onto the field, to gain points which leads to a trophy and numerous accolades. Yells and joyous canter echoing through the stadium as one sees the progression in which of their teams in the end will bring home a win, while the other team leaves with nothing but anger and disappointment. The balance that this sport has is what I look forward to every season, outside of Pumpkin-flavored everything and Halloween.
This past Wednesday, I had what would be considered a mental crack. Not a complete breakdown, but I had broken down throughout the day. Waking up on my day off, I had experienced a series of fluxes in my emotions that all lead up to me feeling empty and overflowing with tears. You may be wondering why or even when did I figure out that I was mentally cracking. Through the tears and anguish, I had begun to search out, to figuring out the reasons why. Why was I so damn sad when everything around me has been going well? Why was I feeling so empty that mustering the feeling of being "full" was a difficult task, especially in the things that had been going very well for me?