Writing

at first I was drawn into shaping my own reality with my will. Then I learned, I had much to learn. Even about who am I, what do I want, what do I do? Even now, I seek myself. I seek my innermost desires. I watch, observe, allow things to move about within and without. So I can learn how to mold myself, mold this will. Maybe I’m allowing myself, my will to be molded. So I can feel so in tune with life. With no guilt, no doubt, no avarice.

I use my feelings so much. I’m sensitive to them, and I don’t deny em. Less and less anyway. I’m becoming a more sensitive human in a way and this has its positives and negatives. So many things are burning away from me. My patience for things I once accepted lessens until it’s lost. Perhaps my attention is being pulled away from those things which are not my course.

I experiment now. With thoughts. I use affirmations and thoughts to see how they’ll make me feel. I don’t force em unto me. I don’t like that feeling. I open up Pandora‘s box to allow any thought to come through. To create something. Am I taking it by storm. Yes. Do I have a choice. It is the best one. This paragraph is likely less understood.

I use sexuality to explore what I like. What I need. And what I don’t! Even within myself. I self-love. I create space. I allow what I need, I allow my thoughts to flow, I allow my needs to be expressed. Deep breathing, and caresses. So needed.

I like spiritual energetic technology. I like energy a lot. I like to feel. I like to walk out and accumulate energy. From breathing, walking, stretching. I like to sing, hum, chant a lil. I like expression and Bhakti. I like trees. I like nature. I like untouched things. Oh, I get very exhausted in this manipulated side on the planet. We are too clogged up in the city. It feels like there’s quantity and not quality in humans unfortunately.

Many enemies, some lovers, few friends. I feel bad for this city. It’s sad, lonely, cold concrete, empty buildings, and empty humans. So many needy, black holes of people. Others busy, living frantically, poor things. Who made them this way? When are we going to meet each other? When will we be friends?

“There is no touching allowed sir in this side of the museum.”