What about the inside ?

I wonder what it would be like to go on a trip inside of my head. What would I see smell touch or experience ? What would I be scared of or frustrated about ? I always have questions about a large variety of things that fascinate me, and this is one of them : What would it be like to physically explore my mind ?

What I want to do is try and describe what the experience would be like, based on what I know about myself and about the way I perceive my surroundings. First of all, I feel like the first thing I would see in my " mind’s entrance " would be like coming out of an airport and realising that you’re in a new place, except here, it’s just a physical representation of what I already know.

It would be like a newfound land with forgotten treasures to uncover, with weird shapes and colours as well as emotions floating around like vibrating patches. I’d picture it like a groundless, timeless but vivid environment, with racing thoughts in the form of electrical lights, similar to when you see only the car lights rushing before your eyes in a big city at night. It wouldn’t be a light or dark place, it would just look like somewhere neutral but with a mix of different shades depending on where you would go.

If I had to literally put into words what the overall place would be, I’d describe it as a vibrant, forest looking, fast city with some sort of very advanced spiritual technology. As I said earlier, it’d be a groundless place, and so I can picture myself floating to get around. Nothing would be organised or make sense, It would all just be this environment with endless connections and clashes between each elements that are part of it. My ideas would look like ever transforming theme shops. The inside of those shops would only be available for comprehension by me as they’d be very unstable but have some kind of logical meaning for me. Ideals would constantly transform into something else and as I would stare at them, I’d be amazed about how of a diverse person I am.

My feelings would be like floating vibrations of colour, changing depending on the feeling itself. I couldn’t put into words what each emotion would look like in colours but I feel like I just know they have their own somehow. The desires would look like glistening matter slowly appearing around me, shaped like the ink stained pieces of paper you’d be given by your therapist and asked to describe ( or maybe it’s just in the movies ).

It would be this weird place where nothing makes sense but does at the same time, where everything is ever changing and evolving. A well organised system that’s constantly creating new solutions to problems it encounters. The system, although efficient, also has its share of issues. Glitches that are caused by different emotions or states of mind; anger, sadness, regret, guilt and so on. All these negative emotions would be portrayed as a disease that would suck life out of what is good. An invisible disease, the system would just start collapsing little by little which would indicate that it’s being affected by this disease that is channeled by negative emotions.

Visually, it would just be felt by the sight of everything that’s been described to dim. It’d all get dull and lifeless until the disease is eradicated. That’s the way I would describe my mind if I literally had the chance to physically explore it. Maybe that’ll be possible one day, there’s still a lot to discover…