Project Moon

My heart was racing at a million per second. I could feel it in my neck and my throat and my chest. I felt like I could not breathe, and I was sweating profusely. I thought I was about to have a heart attack because the pain on my chest was so intense. Real fear was running through my veins and it made me more anxious by the minute. “What am I doing here?”, I asked myself as I tried to throw up in a paper bag they gave me, similar to the ones you find in the back pocket of the seat in front of you on a plane. I have been on a plane many times, and while I experience similar symptoms when flying, nothing could have prepared me for the panic attack I experienced when I stepped into the Merlot 2021, the rocket ship that would take 60 people, including me, in a one-way trip to the moon.

Being a diagnosed claustrophobic, never in a million years did I think I would sign up to live away from planet Earth for whatever the rest of my life will be. When Mars One was founded in 2011, I remember thinking that all those who were signing up for the project were out their minds, and I thought that such an enterprise was so unethical I could never be part of it, even if I weren’t claustrophobic. The money needed to settle a few humans on Mars would be more than enough to end hunger in this planet. It would be more than enough to make this planet better. But no government seems to be interested in improving the planet that we do have. Corruption has permeated every corner of this world, and for those who hold some power, it doesn’t matter what they have to destroy in order to keep filling their pockets with exorbitant amounts of money. Since there isn’t anything else to destroy here, we might as well go and pollute some other place in this solar system, right? Let us go to Mars and begin a new cycle of destruction. Since humans specialize and psychopathically enjoy wrecking everything and anything around them, let us raise a ridiculous amount of money just so that we can travel the unthinkable distance to devastate another part of the universe. It will be worth it if it contributes to increase the wealth of the very few that hold it. After all, what’s Mars in the big picture?

I never thought about joining Mars One back in 2011, and I was also reluctant to even consider the idea of leaving Earth back in 2015 when Project Moon began to recruit volunteers to populate the moon. But here I am now, 386,400 kilometers away from that place I used to call home.

Leaving Earth has been the most difficult decision I have ever made. Ironically and selfishly, the conviction that there is no viable path for change on Earth triggered in my soul the need for a new beginning. I could die from a panic attack before reaching the moon, or I could open the door for an opportunity to build something from scratch, away from the hate that has corroded humankind beyond hope. I took the risk.

I survived the two months of training and the 3-day long trip cloistered in Merlot. There are no more road trips to the beach. No more family or work or friends. No more living the house with light clothes on in a summer day to feel the cool breeze coming from the river to play with my hair. No more smoking. But at least I can continue to indulge in my favourite wine. Bright Cellars is a major sponsor of Project Moon, and has committed to deliver cases of wine once a year with every trip that will bring new residents to the moon for the next 10 years.

I know I will struggle with the ethical implications of my decision for the rest of my life. I at least don’t feel claustrophobic anymore. My heart is, however, racing at a million per second and I can feel it in my neck, in chest, in my throat. My heart is skipping a beat, but not out of panic. Not tonight. Tonight, it’s out of excitement as I step into my first date on the moon. We don’t speak the same language or share a similar skin complexion, and we come from opposite sides of Earth, but none of that matters here. We are both new in our new world and will need to build a new way, a better way, to understand each other. A glass of Merlot on the moon will be the only thing that connects us. My heart is racing. I hope his is pounding too.