Love or Retrenchment

Part 1: The Controlled Zone

Merrell stared thoughtfully at the Kön-igual bath in the corner of the living room, opening a panel, slipping a set of tools from an arm sleeve, to tamper with the settings again. The plan had been in effect for three weeks, and differences in the body were evident. Light grey hands made quick work of the digital interface. Removing the robe around Merrell’s body revealed smooth grey flesh, non distinct gender features and no hair whatsoever, even on Merrell’s pale head. Stepping into the shower-like receptacle naked and closing the door, lights flickered all around. Merrell stood with eyes closed thinking about Jodi and the encounter that sparked this crazy situation they were pursuing. After all, Jodie had convincing evidence that Merrell couldn’t ignore.

Retiring to the bed after the light bath, sinking onto the neutral colored mattress with a sand colored comforter and terracotta sheets; Merrell pulled a heart-shaped locket from its hiding place within the pillow case. Worn, broken and chipped, this artifact had been through a lot in it’s time, Merrell guessed, remembering the day Jodie had secretly given it, insisting that no one else knew. Merrell opened the locket revealing two faded images of people with such contrasting features that Merrell couldn’t help but stare at them in wonder. On the left was an image of a young woman, alabaster skin like the walls in the apartment, with petite features, a gentle smile, and long hair braided elegantly across her shoulder. The right side held an image of a virile man, so dark in complexion that his eyes shone like torches against it, sharp jawline grinning at the photographer with a wild mop of curly hair on his head. Both people looked quite happy, Merrell mused. The apartment had no mirror to look into, so Merrell couldn't see the face that approached the world every day, but knew that every other face in the Controlled Zone mirrored it with consistency. How wonderful and exotic the people in the locket were.

Diversity and gender had been erased from the culture when the Equality Wars took its grip on the country, dividing classes, races and genders into clusters that fought for resources, status and freedom rather than unite people in a world that accepted everyone's differences equally. Merrell cozied up to the pillow clutching the locket in one hand, and fell asleep for the night.

Upon waking, Merrell began the daily routine that dictated life for the Controlled Zone. Eat a balanced meal, exercise for 30 minutes, meditate for another 30 minutes, shower and head to work. Merrell opened the door to a busy world, grey skinned people bustled in and out of their vehicles, walked the streets and headed to their jobs. The car that Merrell was issued by the government, along with the apartment were free for lifetime use, the incentive everyone was allotted for willingly participating in the S.E.E. act. The System for Ethnic Equality treated everyone equally, providing meaningful work that contributed to society’s needs, raising the quality of life for many to a position where opportunities were available to anyone capable and able bodied. It guaranteed a position in society that was free of judgement, discrimination and class separation. It was frighteningly perfect and no one questioned it, except Jodi. Jodi, a lifelong friend who had put that heart-shaped locket in Merrell’s hand, had all kinds of questions that no one could or were willing to answer. Merrell listened intently, curious about the world Jodi painted when speaking. The Institute for Higher Learning where young ones were raised had become a second home to Merrell and the work was fulfilling, bringing up the next generation to understand the philosophies and social structures that kept them all safe and happy.

Jodi stood casually in the teachers lounge speaking to Avery about a lesson the young ones were being taught that day.

“It’s a fine day isn’t it friends?” Merrell asked them both on approach. They answered in voices so similar to Merrell’s that, with closed eyes, one would not know which of them was speaking.

“Indeed!” Avery replied, with a proud grin. “I'd better be off to class, we have fifteen minutes left and I still have presentations to prepare.” With that, Avery left the two friends in the empty lounge. Jodi took Merrell by the arm, the intense gesture startling.

“Are you still turning down the settings on your Kön-igual bath? What alterations have you noticed?” Jodi released Merrell’s arm, calming down once the question was out.

“Yes. I have a patch of skin that is beginning to change in color, just like you said it would. I have also noticed,” Merrell trailed off briefly, thinking of how best to phrase the changes that were taking place. “Thoughts are appearing, and feelings that I have not known before. I cannot name them yet, because I have no words to describe what they are. It has been jarring sometimes.”

“Keep going. We have one week more if my calculations are correct. I must be honest, I have had very strong urges to kiss you.” Jodi’s tone sounded casual, but implied deeper meaning. Merrell flushed at the thought without knowing why.

“Kissing is for the young ones who don’t know any better.” Merrell teased playfully before redirecting the conversation. “Meet me in the park on twelfth street and we can speak freely in an open environment.”

Both teachers agreed, parting ways as they headed to their classes. The day passed quickly, which Merrell was thankful for. The friends found one another easily at the park and began discussing the Plan.

Jodi placed a hand on Merell’s knee while they rested on a bench in the sun. Merrell noticed for the first time that Jodi’s eyes seem brighter, less grey. “In three days' time, physical changes will become more difficult to hide.” Jodi began in hushed tones. “I have been experiencing sensations that I too cannot explain, and my body is expanding. You remember what we need to do right? In case for any reason we cannot make the journey together, you have to remember the path to the boundary wall. I am so thankful you agreed to do this with me. Do you still have the locket?”

“Of course!” Merrell exclaimed too loudly. Jodi raised a hand in caution. “I have some stubbly fuzz growing on my head Jodi. I can’t be seen like this. The locket shows that much more hair will continue to grow as we pursue this. I’m concerned we will be found out.” Merrell placed a hand over top of Jodi’s and noticed that it had increased in size since they’d last touched.

Part 2: Unravelling Reality

Four days after the meeting at the park, Merrell’s concerns were becoming dread. Jodi had not shown up at work for the past two days. Retrenchment was a real threat that they both faced if authorities discovered that they were tampering with their Kön-igual baths. Their reclaim-ment would involve painful interrogation and mental breakdown to ensure that compliance was upheld. Merrell opened the curtains in the living room casting a glare on the Kön-igual bath. Within that glare, the reflection of Merrell’s body stared defiantly against the backdrop of the machine, drawing attention to features that hadn’t mattered before. Facial structure, hips, chest. There were bumps forming on the torso, the skin color darkened in circles just under the nips. Merrell ran a hand over the stubble of hair that felt like peach fuzz. The feeling sent chills through Merrell, for the first time. These sensory experiences flooded the body with such potency that Merrell had to pull the hand away to avoid swooning.

A couple of the teachers commented to Merrell on Jodi’s mysterious disappearance but Merrell had to shrug it off dismissively in order to carry on with the day since people were looking harder at Merrell than ever before. Were they seeing the differences? On the drive home a peace official followed Merell’s car to the apartment. After about ten minutes, there came a knock at the door that shook Merrell’s resolve. It was the peace official.

“Hello friend! My name is Casey. May I come in?” Casey asked.

Merrell let the official inside, who headed straight for the Kön-igual bath. “Everything working properly for you, friend? We received a call from a concerned citizen that your machine might need some repair as they pointed out your height has visually decreased.” Officer Casey inspected the panel that Merell had intentionally been tampering with for nearly a month. “Any problems here?” The official asked kindly. “I can see some evidence of tool work on the panel.”

Merrell stiffened, straightened, and clasped hands behind the back to avoid displaying nervousness.

“Here, let me take a good look at you friend.” Officer Casey still used a neutral tone, but Merrell knew that was only because the Kön-igual bath removed inflection from everyone’s voice, dulling the intonations.

“You do seem a bit shorter, friend. It’s Merrell right?” Officer Casey asked.

“Yes. I feel the same.” Merrell lied.

The official issued a work repair on Merrell’s Kön-igual bath and departed without incident. Merrell collapsed to the floor and cried. Tears had never run down those cheeks before. Merrell touched them curiously, concerned even more for Jodi and what changes would have kept the friend from work.

Part 3: Executing The Plan

Merrell grabbed the locket, waited for the official to disappear down the road and headed for the car. Jodi’s apartment was across town so instead of going there, Merrell decided it was time to get to the border wall even if Jodi would be unable to meet.That was the part of the Plan Merrell struggled with most. The idea was for them to go together, not separately. Frightened, Merrell raced to the meeting place. Traffic slowed progress, and officials were everywhere. The Plan suddenly seemed impossible, coupled with the growing feelings that threatened to take over Merrell’s sanity and reason. Jodi hadn’t prepared Merrell for this. Perhaps Jodi hadn’t even known the extent that their bodies, inside and outside would be modified. They only had the pictures in the locket as a reference.

The car stopped abruptly at a side alley, Merrell exited cautiously, peering in every direction in case someone had followed. Ten steps into the alley, and the sound of sirens filled the air as several officials parked at the alleyway. Merrell ran without looking back. Freedom coursed through the feet on pavement, heart pumped with exhilaration. No one was going to interfere. Escape was the only option now. Retrenchment wouldn’t be Merrell's fate.

“Citizen! Stop running and turn yourself in. We have you surrounded.” A clear voice rang out on a megaphone but there was no going back, only forward. Passing identical buildings with small alleys between them felt like an endless tunnel forever expanding. Merrell pushed harder. From a side alley, a figure appeared in front of her, tall, with dark skin, turning into the path at a run. The person turned and they locked eyes.

“Jodi!” Merrell called out happily.

Jodi slowed pace and grabbed Merrell’s hand as they ran together toward the door in the barrier wall Jodi had spoken of for weeks now. Merrell wanted to kiss Jodi suddenly, embrace a friend and forget the world around them. They could not allow themselves to be captured. Gazing intently at the newness of Jodi’s appearance, understanding for the first time that Jodi looked very much like the man in the photo hidden in the heart-shaped locket. Footsteps behind closed in, the door ahead drew nearer. With a searing pain in Merrell’s side, sweat pouring, hand in hand with Jodi, they persisted, reaching for the handle without slowing. Jodi twisted the unlocked latch. Merrell felt tears sear the cheeks. Without looking back, they exited the Controlled Zone into a wild world where the peace officials would not dare follow.