It's Time, To Exhale

Jane had been trapped in a never-ending cycle of terror for what felt like an eternity. Every night, the same recurring nightmare haunted her, leaving her afraid and exhausted. The dream was always the same: a dark figure chasing her—unrelentingly pursuing her, only adding a few extra moments to each dream going forward

Every night, Jane ran and ran, never being able to escape the dark figure that followed. That's when she saw it—a wall. It was high, so high you couldn't see the sky continue on. "I need to get away!" Jane whispered with tears in her eyes. Still running, she happened to look at a small opening in the wall, as if it were guiding her escape. Before Jane could go through, the figure would grab her neck from behind as it had always done from the beginning, and Jane would wake up screaming.

Tonight, Jane's husband was working late, so there was no worry about waking him up. 15 years together, and never once on a Saturday would he stay out so late for work, but it somehow seemed slightly peaceful without him. "I need a cold shower." Jane staggered out of bed, completely worn out from countless nights of torture.

After her shower, Jane tried to go back to sleep, but her mind wouldn't allow her to. The next day, after just lying in bed for five long hours, Jane got up to make breakfast.

"Hey, I'm home. I needed to catch up on a lot of work," John uttered tiredly as he eventually looks up at his wife. "Wow, you are getting worse. Maybe you should try some makeup or something," John giggles, as he sits down to enjoy a fresh meal. Jane blinks rapidly and mumbles under her breath. "Excuse me?" John says this with food in his mouth.

"Uh, nothing; I only said, um, okay whatever." Jane's voice shakes as she responds.

Bang! John slams his fists on the table and stands up. "Are you trying to be funny!? I didn't ask for a clown nor a response! Do what a woman is supposed to do and shut up!"

Jane's body shook so hard, that she almost fell to the floor. "I'm sorry, John." Eyes hot with tears, Jane turned around to do dishes. Fiercely scrubbing, she felt a hand grip her neck so hard that she began to see dark clouds in her eyes. All she heard before she passed out was, 'I wish most days you would die', and then, nothing...

That's when Jane's nightmare once again began. This time, she was able to make it to the opening in the wall and actually go through it. Jane was mesmerized by the beautiful ocean sight, so much so that she slowly walked towards the waters. It soon began to feel like a heavy weight was on her chest with each step.

Seeing a vast, dark ocean in real life was a dream, but seeing it here was a true nightmare. Nothing but deep black menacing waters; no moonlight; no glowing algae; no lovers sitting on the sand. "Uuuhhh." As if right on time, the hand that plagued Jane gripped her neck, and she awoke, still laying on the kitchen floor. Wanting nothing more than to get closer to the water's edge, not being able to withstand the dark figure's suffocating presence anymore.

***

As the days passed, Jane's exhaustion grew. Dark circles formed under her eyes, and her skin grew pale. She struggled to concentrate at work, and her relationships with friends and family began to suffer. Her husband, John, tried to be 'supportive', but his patience was always thin, especially as the days turned into weeks.

"What's wrong now, Jane? You've been going crazy for weeks, and it's driving me insane," John said, his frustration evident. "You need to snap out of this, whatever it is."

But Jane couldn't shake the dream's grip. She felt like she was about to drown, suffocating under the weight of her own subconscious. Maybe that's what she wanted... to drown, to die.

On the final night of the dream, Jane had finally reached the edge of the ocean. Was it time, she wondered? Moments later, Jane felt herself being pulled into the water. Even as she tried to swim up, it was as if the top was getting further away. Jane began struggling to breathe, her lungs burning. As she looked down at her feet, she saw her pursuer holding on to her. Frightened, Jane saw her own face, twisted in anger. The figure hissed, "You need to do more than just wake up this time, or next time, this will become your hell!"

Jane jolted awake, screaming and choking. John rushed to her side, but she pushed him away, her eyes wild with fear.

"Don't touch me!" she pleaded.

"What's wrong, Jane? What's happening?" John demanded, his anger rising.

"Leave me alone!" Jane shouted, her voice hoarse from screaming.

John's face reddened with anger. "Get it together!" Smacking Jane across the face, she snaps back to reality. Blood running down her lip. "Sigh, look what you made me do! You always make me do this!"

As if something sparked in Jane, she knew it was time. Kicking John in his 'area', she flew out of bed, and ran to the bathroom with her phone. She called the police, but she knew they wouldn't arrive before John got back up. That's when Jane heard punches and kicks at the bathroom door. John was trying to get in, and he would. "Please hurry! My husband is trying to kill me!"

"Ma'am, the police have been dispatched and are on the way. Please stay on the phone, and make sure you stay in the bathroom. They will arrive in three minutes. Hold on, okay?"

Crash! The bathroom door came down, hitting the floor with immense power. "I'm going to kill you!" John runs at Jane and grabs her neck, this time, with both hands. He put so much pressure on her esophagus that, with one movement, he could break her trachea. She felt herself dying and hoped the end would at least bring peace.

That's when she heard them; the police had shown up earlier than expected. Breaking in to the house and holding John at gunpoint, Jane felt more than just the rush of air in her chest—she felt relief; she was saved.

Once Jane understood that the dream was a warning and the dopple ganger was her anger deep within, she was able to find the strength to break the cycle. Now, with a newfound sense of determination, Jane had broken free from the suffocating grip of her husband and started anew. "First step: take a deep breath, Jane, because you're free now. Don't you ever wait to exhale again." One deep breath in and a good exhale—Jane faced the truth and started her journey towards healing.

*National DV assistance hotline. Never hesitate to call or text: Call (800) 799-7233 or Text BEGIN to 88788