Gemini: A Not-So-Social Butterfly

Perhaps a Gemini's most commonly cited quality is being the social butterfly of the zodiac, but that's just not me (or at least not yet?). I even remember another Gemini once reacting in disbelief when she found out that I shared the same sign, saying, "You are not a Gemini."

It was a June Gemini who said that to me though, and I'm a May baby. One of the many ways in which the Gemini identity contrasts itself. Known as the sign of the twins, Gemini is often regarded as a sort of split personality; the duality of the zodiac, rather than embodying the identical, synchronistic aspect of twins. We can get restless easily and change our minds quickly.

While I don't resonate with a lot of the more extroverted qualities that some Geminis possess, like adoring the spotlight, thriving in social settings, and being overtly flirtatious and even promiscuous (I've often thought of myself as shy, and I'm partial to monogamy), there are aspects that do feel like me, and overall, I love my star sign. I see Gemini as unique, creative, and inspirational—all things I aspire to be.

Gemini is an air sign, which is all about intellect, and therefore, sometimes overthinking. We can also be judgmental. Geminis are quick-witted and love learning. That feels like me, in part because it's what others have recognized, telling me that I'm clever, and can think too much or be too critical (of myself, in particular), and in part because I do love to think and dream and learn.

Essentially, I'm in my element with my head in the clouds.

I admire the dynamic quality of Gemini, and I do feel the pull to move and change as Geminis frequently crave, though I don't feel that way all of the time. That's not so much a facet of my personality as it is the influence of events throughout my life so far.

Of course, the entire population can't be definitively split up into 12 short lists of some positive and some negative qualities. Just take a look at a list of celebrities who share the same star sign as you and you'll see what I mean. Some famous Geminis include Johnny Depp (one of my favourites) and Donald Trump (no comment), and I'm not quite like either of them.

Actually, I was engaged to another Gemini whom I spent 10 years with, and we are total opposites. He's incredibly outgoing and has what seems like a million friends. We hardly went anywhere without bumping into someone or several someones he knew. He has attended tons of parties and other gatherings, and loves to explore and spend time outdoors. A typical Gemini in my eyes. Me, I'm a fan of the great indoors. Most of the things I like to do are quiet and calm, like reading, drawing, painting, and generally lounging in the comfort of my home.

I'm a dreamer, and while communication is a sort of theme for Gemini (ruled by planet Mercury), I haven't often been great at communicating what I'm dreaming about. My Gemini partner and I were terrible at communicating with each other! It's what broke us apart.

Sometimes the things a star sign is known for are also their biggest challenges to master.

The thing about the characteristics tied to our star signs is that they're very surface-level, and there's so much more to each of us than that. So what else is there? Well, sticking to astrology, we each have an entire birth chart to consider; That is, where each planet (plus the sun and moon) was at the date and time of our birth.

You can get an accurate birth chart done for free if you know your date of birth along with the time and location you were born in (the time zone matters). I like the free chart from Yasmin Boland (author of Moonology), but you can Google "free birth chart" and find a bunch of sources.

For years, I thought that my sun/star, moon, and rising sign were all Gemini. And I thought I was sooo special because of it. But just this past year I found out I was actually born three hours earlier than I thought, placing my rising sign in Aries. I also have three planets in Capricorn. These little details in our birth charts are part of what differentiates one Gemini from another (or one of any star sign from the rest under the same sign).

Beyond astrology, we can consider our numerology, as well as personality tests like Myers-Briggs and Enneagram. All of a sudden I'm not just a Gemini, but an INFP Gemini with a 3 life path and a Type 5 enneagram personality, which significantly expands my list of traits and tendencies.

A lot of that does work with Geminis characteristics: the creative and communicative energy of the 3 life path, and the curious and analytical aspect of the 5 enneagram, for example. But the introvert aspect of the Myers-Briggs type stands pretty strongly against the classic chatty Gemini label.

I do like to chat when I'm 1:1 or in small groups, but it takes time. More often than not, I'm a quiet observer. Maybe that's because throughout my life, other people labeled me as quiet and shy, so I started to own that identity. I know I'm not tied to expressing any particular trait though, so maybe being a bit of a wallflower is just one of my challenges and being born under Gemini will encourage me to develop a more social side throughout my life. Butterflies are a product of change, and I'm open to changing too.