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Why Men Shouldn't Be Afraid of Sex Toys

Everyone loves sex, and toys are fun, so why do so many men seem to be afraid of sex toys?

By Dr. Harmon LovePublished 7 years ago 5 min read
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Sex is great, and sex toys can make it even better, but many men seem to be intimidated by sex toys while their partners want them to know why men shouldn’t be afraid of toys. There are a number of reasons why men might fear toys in bed, but there are even more reasons why this is a fear to be overcome. Our time in this life is short, and there is nothing wrong with trying to get as much pleasure out of it as possible. Given that, why would you willfully deny yourself added fun and a better time? After all, it’s not like someone looks back at their life and smiles at all the fun they didn’t have. This guide will briefly outline some reasons men fear sex toys and then go on to explain why men shouldn’t be afraid of toys.

Source of the Fears

There are many theories as to why men seem to be afraid of toys. The most common theories center on the idea that men feel inferior, threatened, or inadequate when the idea of toys in the bedroom is brought up. These fears can come about because of the way that gender roles have traditionally been articulated in the west. Men are supposed to be able to provide whatever is needed for themselves and those around them, and sometimes men can feel that the presence of a sex toy means that they are not good enough. However, this is simply a matter of mindset rather than reality. Another factor comes from myths about female sexuality, where some men might fear that his partner has become a sex crazed maniac that cannot be trusted if she is interested in toys. As you may have realized reading those sentences, neither thought process makes any sense and only works to restrict how we look for pleasure. There are far more reasons to embrace the joy and pleasure you can get from toys than there are sensible reasons to fear them.

What's Good for the Goose...

First let’s address the idea that some men believe the inclusion of a sex toy in their lives means that they are not a good enough lover. A simple metaphor might go a long way in changing the way this dynamic is understood. Sandwiches are delicious. It is entirely possibly to be completely satisfied by a sandwich. However, if you add bacon to that sandwich it is even better. The fact that the sandwich is better with bacon does not mean that the sandwich was bad to begin with. In the same way, sex is great, and the sex that you and your partner are having is probably also great. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be better with a toy. This shows why men shouldn’t fear toys, they make the whole event more fun.

Another thing that men who fear sex toys should consider is that they probably have more fun the more their partner is turned on. If using a toy helps your partner get even more revved up then sex is going to get even better, and why wouldn’t you want the best sex possible, with both partners as excited as they can possibly be? Clearly the answer is you would, and clearly men have much to gain by getting over their fears.

Still another reason why men shouldn’t be afraid of toys is that it is important for both partners to get what they want out of physical intimacy in order to have a healthy and productive relationship. While some men may read this as an accusation, another metaphor may be helpful here. Almost every man has encountered a situation where there’s only a beer or two left in the fridge. You drink them and have an ok buzz, but think that you really wish you had one more drink. It’s not that you aren’t content with your current state, but would rather have just one more drink. In the same way women may have multiple orgasms during sex, but once the guy is done could still want one more drink. Adding a toy to the equation is like keeping a backup keg around. It’s good to know there’s always another ready if you want it.

Frequently sex toys are seen as something that are only for women. However, the industry has been working to change this perception and has been coming out with more and more toys designed with men in mind. These go above the standard cock rings of the past, and can be a great way to spice up a relationship or just enjoy some you time. Adding one of these masturbatory aids can introduce a whole new element to your personal time as well as your playtime with a partner. When with a partner, a toy can be almost like a threesome, with all kinds of stimulation happening everywhere. By yourself, a toy can bring a porn viewing to the next level or help make solo time feel more like the real thing. As you can see, these are compelling reasons why men shouldn’t be afraid of toys in the bedroom.

Another element that men should consider regarding having toys is that just owning them and being comfortable with them will make them seem sexier and more attractive. One of the most common pieces of advice that men are given about sex and relationships is that women love confidence, and nothing is more confident than being sure of yourself enough to not be intimidated by a toy. It says that you’re there to have the best time possible, instead of sending the message that you have something to prove or something to hide.

As you can see, there are many reasons why men shouldn’t be afraid of toys. Toys can help add spice to any relationship or encounter. They show that men are confident and sure of themselves, which is quite the opposite of the impression that keeps men away from them. Make sure that you get the most out of your playtime by looking into some toys to add. You won’t be disappointed with the result.

sex toysadvicesexual wellnessrelationships
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About the Creator

Dr. Harmon Love

Sex therapist, avid reader and movie fan. Sex is not love but there is no love without sex.

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