What Is A Ruined Orgasm? Insights from a Sex Expert

Curious about the term "ruined orgasm"? Wondering if it's more frustrating than fun? Surprisingly, many people find it enjoyable! But what exactly is it? Sandra Larson, our team's sex expert, is here to explain what a ruined orgasm is, how to achieve it, and why some individuals find the experience exhilarating. Let's dive right in without delay:

What Exactly is a Ruined Orgasm?

A ruined orgasm is a sexual technique used during any sexual activity or oral sex, where one is brought to the edge of climax, only to have the pleasure suddenly stopped or "ruined" before reaching full release.

Picture this: You're getting all worked up, just about to reach climax, when suddenly, everything stops. It's like slamming on the brakes of a rollercoaster right before the big drop. You still feel that intense build-up, but the climax you anticipated doesn't happen. Experiencing a ruined orgasm is like expecting an incredible climax but ending up with something less intense or even devoid of feeling.

It's important to note that a ruined orgasm differs from a forced orgasm. Ruined orgasms slow things down as you approach climax, leaving you eager for more, while forced orgasms ramp up pleasure, leading to multiple orgasms without a break between each climax.

What Does a Ruined Orgasm Feel Like?

The sensation of a ruined orgasm can be highly pleasurable for some and minimally pleasurable for others. During a ruined orgasm, you may feel a buildup of sexual tension, resulting in a pleasurable release. However, the physical pleasure is often less intense compared to a satisfying orgasm. It's like experiencing the sensation of an orgasm, but it's not quite the same—it's akin to experiencing some relief but not the full release.

One could describe ruined orgasms as a unique blend of pain and pleasure—trying to build up sexual tension without reaching a full orgasm. Additionally, there's the intriguing aspect of sensing the same tension in your partner, enhancing the overall sexual experience.

Why Do People Want To Have A Ruined Orgasm?

For some individuals, a ruined orgasm is about the thrill of tease and denial. They find pleasure in controlling the sexual stimulation of their partner. Others see it as a unique approach to orgasm control. Additionally, for certain individuals, ruining an orgasm adds an element of excitement to humiliation play. While the climax is typically considered the pinnacle of sexual activity, for many, the journey is just as important. Here are some common motivations:

Power Dynamics and Control

A prevalent reason for pursuing ruined orgasms is to manipulate power dynamics. In BDSM dynamics, the dominant partner may instruct the submissive to masturbate until on the brink of orgasm, only to halt stimulation, thereby ruining the climax. This act allows the submissive to relinquish control to the dominant partner, who then asserts control over their pleasure.

Consent and Communication

Beyond BDSM, ruined orgasms can serve as a means to explore consent and communication within sexual relationships. Before engaging in any sexual activity, establishing clear boundaries is crucial. Partners should openly discuss their comfort levels and establish boundaries to ensure mutual respect and safety, especially when experimenting with potentially uncomfortable or painful activities. Additionally, having a safe word is essential, serving as a signal to halt activity if needed. By openly discussing the possibility of ruined orgasms, partners can ensure mutual understanding and alignment of desires and boundaries.

Ruined orgasms represent just one of many kinks couples can explore. For a comprehensive list, refer to our guide on common kinks for men.

How to Achieve a Ruined Orgasm?

Achieving a ruined orgasm on your own can be a bit challenging, but it's possible. The key is to identify that moment of intense sensation right before the orgasm starts, then cease all stimulation for a few seconds to spoil the climax. Mastering this technique may require some practice, so don't be discouraged if it takes a few attempts to get it right. Practice makes perfect!

When applying this technique to your partner, begin by stimulating their body in a way that they enjoy, such as through masturbation or teasing, to bring them closer to ejaculation. As they approach orgasm, abruptly stop all stimulation to disrupt the climax and prevent ejaculation.

If you're interested in intensifying your partner's sensations and bringing them to the brink more quickly, consider exploring techniques like fellatio.

Using sex toys to induce ruined orgasms involves selecting the appropriate device—one that enhances excitement but can be quickly turned off. Options like a vibrating cock ring or wand vibrator work well for this purpose. Once your partner is on the verge of climax, apply stimulation with the sex toy, but then halt suddenly to thwart the orgasm.

Are There Any Risks Involved With Ruined Orgasms?

Simply put, no, there aren't any risks associated with ruined orgasms. They're a safe and consensual way to delve into your sexuality. Nevertheless, like with any sexual activity, it's essential to consider a few things.

Firstly, effective communication with your partner is crucial to establish boundaries and ensure mutual understanding of what is acceptable. Avoid inadvertently crossing boundaries that could ruin the mood or affect the experience negatively. Additionally, it's important to be mindful of your body's limits, as ruined orgasms can be intense.

Despite these considerations, there are numerous benefits to exploring ruined orgasms. They can inject a new and thrilling dimension into your sex life, adding an element of surprise and increasing excitement. The key is to maintain open communication with your partner and remain attuned to each other's feelings, ensuring a mutually enjoyable experience. Listening to your body is also vital for maintaining enjoyment and safety.

Edging vs. Ruined Orgasms?

You're probably familiar with edging or cum control, where stimulation brings you (or your partner) to the brink of climax, then backs off, only to resume stimulation repeatedly until finally reaching a satisfying orgasm. A ruined orgasm follows a similar pattern, but instead of stopping stimulation at the last moment, it proceeds to disrupt the climax, hence the name.