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Ways To Up Your Sex Game

Simple and effective, these helpful tips are some of the best ways to up your sex game.

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 6 years ago 7 min read

Once in a while, you'll hear about someone whose reputation in bed precedes them. Sometimes, the things you'll hear come from a place of envy and jealousy. Other times, you'll hear about their sexual prowess from people who have slept with them before and would kill to have them again.

No matter what you hear, it's often clear that they have it going on. If you're like most people, you might be wondering what they're doing that drives their partners so wild. Though we aren't psychic, we can tell you some quick ways to improve your own game - if you're daring enough to try these out.

Get healthier.

It's sad but it's true - you can't be at your peak sexual performance without being healthy and fit. If you know you could lose some weight, get stronger, or eat better, then by all means, do it.

Being healthier means that moving around is easier to do, which means that sex become a lot more effortless. This means you'll be able to last longer, thrust harder, and of course, also be able to go for another round.

When you're healthy, you also tend to look better - and that means you will be hotter when you're having sex. Moreover, if you're very overweight, getting healthier by losing weight may make it easier to do different sex positions.

Take a course in sex.

Did you know that there are now classes being taught by professionals on how to be great in bed? It's true. Stores like Babeland have been hosting classes involving teaching sessions on how to use different sex toys, how to give better oral sex, and even how to experiment with anal sex.

Bondage conventions are also pretty infamous for having panels in which people learn the right way to do ropeplay, dominance play, aftercare, and more. Of course, if you don't feel like doing an actual class with others looking at you, it's also possible to check out video tutorials on sex techniques you want to use.

Get into the right mindset for sex.

One of the most criminal things about our society is the way we've managed to fool ourselves into thinking we're wrong or bad for having sexual desires. The way society makes us hate our bodies and sexuality can make it very difficult to feel sexy - even if we're attracted to the person we're with.

A good way to avoid these kinds of thoughts is to adopt a "sex persona" and work towards seeing yourself as a sexy, confident person. Start by just pretending you're a porn star, and try to act like you're in your own X-rated film. Sooner or later, you're going to start feeling yourself - and that will make sex incredible.

Don't have sex with people who make you feel like dirt.

Confidence is key in bed, and that means that you need to protect your self-esteem to be a good sex partner. After all, no one wants to be with the person who cries, apologizes, and pleads for compliments on sex.

It's kind of scary how much a bad remark or comment can eat away at your confidence - especially when it comes to your sexual confidence. The best way to keep your self-esteem up is to avoid having sex with people who make you feel self-conscious, or better yet, avoid those types altogether.

Life is too shore to deal with jerks like that, anyway.

Talk sex with your partner.

I can almost guarantee that your partner has at least one fantasy that they are dying to try out with you, but are terrified to actually talk about. It may be totally messed up, or it might be something that's really rather vanilla.

However, you'll never know until you actually sit them down and tell them that you want to hear about their fantasies. Once you figure out what your partner's fantasies are, you can decide whether or not you want to pursue them.

Even taking that first step can make you a better sexual partner than the others he or she has had. After all, talking about it can show what your partner really wants - and can show them that you do have an interest in pleasing them.

Put your partner's wants and needs first - within reason.

A major mistake that people do is make sex all about them. It's not like that; there are two people having sex, and both of them should leave satisfied. Sex doesn't stop until both partners feel happy, fulfilled, and have climaxed.

That being said, most people will always remember partners who really made a major effort to pleasure their partners. Things like being willing to do kinky things, taking time to give them oral sex, talking about what they want, and listening to their guidance can really make you a rockstar in bed.

Of course, there are limits to how much you should put your partner first. If what they're asking you to do is really gross, dangerous or would upset you, don't do it. You still need to keep yourself happy, too, you know!

Switch up the routine.

Whether we realize it or not, most of us fall into a routine when it comes to sex with longterm partners. We may get stuck in the same sex position, work the same kinks, or just keep at the humdrum of daily life. This doesn't bode well for sex, does it?

The best way to break out of a rut is to try something new, such as a new position, new lube, or even going out of your way to have sex in a new location.

One of the biggest problems couples face is boredom. When you switch things up, it's hard to get bored. It's just that simple.

Watch porn.

Okay, hear me out on this. Porn is unrealistic, and it's kind of awful for actually trying to figure out what sex should look like.

HOWEVER, it is great for figuring out what turns you on - especially when it comes to kinks. That being said, browsing a bit of porn of different varieties may help you figure out what you fantasize about.

When you know what turns you on, it's a lot easier to make things happen in between the sheets.

Tell your partner what you want.

Most people are straight up clueless about what their partners want in bed - and the truth is that it's understandable. No one is psychic. If you want to make sex better for you and your partner, give your partner a little bit of guidance on what they should do to please you.

Of course, this shouldn't come in the form of you barking orders. Rather, gentle encouragement and positive reinforcement goes a long way. Say things like, "Oh yeah, kiss me there!" or "Don't stop! Harder!" to get your way.

Even coyly suggesting that you two try sex tutorial videos together can be a good way to start guiding your partner to be a better sexual match for you. Be tactful, and be open to helping them!

Show enjoyment.

If there's one thing that most people really, truly can't stand in a sex partner, it's a partner that seems like they feel forced into sex. If they aren't making noise, or if they look bored, sex no longer becomes fun. In fact, it becomes somewhat of an awkward chore.

Sex isn't just physical; it's mental and emotional, too. A large part of how good a person is in bed deals with how much they can reinforce the idea that their partner is a good lay. Show your partner that you're having fun! Buck your hips, moan, gasp, do something - don't just lay there.

Lastly, be enthusiastic.

Most people, when polled, will tell you that enthusiasm is the one thing they want to see the most in a sexual partner. Sex is about desiring your partner and just having fun with it. It's okay to let loose, you know!

Being enthusiastic about sex doesn't make you "crazy." It makes you hot, because people typically find it hot to be heavily wanted by someone they have sex with.

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About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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