Them

I always wondered when I would be rich or if it would ever happen. A series of things had to take place in order for that to happen. The first thing my heart had to be broken into irreparable pieces. The second thing I became as mean and as cold as everyone else around me and lastly someone wanted to permanently fix my problems.

One night I went to my old friend from high school house with Ebony, Mark, and Tara. It was Tara's birthday she was so excited to get out of town. Little did I know she had more than just a birthday celebration planned. As I walked into the door dressed to impressed and ready to party a random guy said I know what she came here to do. I laughed it off but that was the first red flag. I couldn't drive so I immediately started looking at Uber prices. I told myself to relax he probably meant nothing by it after all my anxiety had been really bad lately. It was the weekend I thought to myself I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. So I decided to stay. Our friend from high school Toni came running downstairs and immediately began hugging and kissing Mark. "My boo she cried It’s been so long I miss you so much as she kisses his neck. I looked at mark he looks at me and I rolled my eyes.. That was moment I knew something wasn't right. Mark immediately came to sit next to me

"I need a drink" I thought he was never really honest with me anyway so I didn’t' ask what was going on with him and Toni. We started making drinks I knew from college to always keep my drink with me. Everyone around me started getting loose. The girls were showing off while the guys watched from the kitchen. Their couch was extremely large compared to the size of the room. The sectional was lovely chocolate suede but the environment was lack luster.

Sitting in the dingy project townhouse made me feel uncomfortable. Lexi why don't you dance with us the girls screamed. I laughed and said I have to

use the bathroom. I set my cup down on the table and proceeded up the

staircase. A million thoughts raced through my mind why did I come how I was I going to get home. Tara didn't say we were staying the night and honestly there wasn't enough space. The warm water cascaded over my hands soothing my worries chasing my fears away slowly I opened the door and continued down the stairs. Immediately I began to search for my drink it was not where Carl comes in with a drink in hand saying here Lexi this is yours. No it isn’t I said yes it is he insisted. I walked into the kitchen and poured the drink down the sink.

"Why would you do that? You're wasting money" Carl yelled

"First of all don't yell at me second of all I paid for it so I can make as many

drinks as I want."

Carl rolled his eyes but continued to walk back into the living room laughing to himself. He turned to Tara and said this isn't going to be easy is it.

Ebony and mark went outside to smoke and asked if I wanted to join them. I

casually replied yes and walked outside. Ebony kept making remarks about

how pretty I was she asked could she touch my breasts. I laughed hysterically

and told her to ask Mark. He immediately shook his head no. Ebony gave him a strange look. That is when I asked him if they had ever been with each other intimately. Instantly they looked at one another and said no. Something told me they were lying. The night went on like this for awhile me watching everyone closely and everything unwinding slowly but surely. Where in the world did I end up and how did I end up there in the first place.

Toni sat rocking on the couch across from me drinking cheap rum straight from a water bottle. She kept looking around impatiently as if she wanted something.

Everyone started dancing and for the most part it was a decent time. Slow

Motion by Juvenile came on and my friend started throwing her butt back

violently we encouraged her but I knew she was on more than just some liquor.

People disappeared upstairs and did not come back downstairs for a while.

It was then that I realized what we travelled all this way for an Orgy.

Although I was attracted to Tara, I was never into the group sex thing. All those bodies and different fluids I did not want touching me.

Mark came over to me and I wanted to kiss him but I didn't. I knew he didn't want anyone to know he liked me or I liked him or perhaps he didn't like me but just liked to fuck. Anyway he stayed close to me most of the night but then when I was in the kitchen making my drink, the girl who was rocking on the couch came in and got on top of him and started kissing him. I watched silently from behind as he kissed her the way he kisses me. He

wrapped his arms around her the way he does me and all I could do was freeze. I went upstairs at some point and sat in the bathroom Tara came in behind me I could tell she wanted me but I was definitely not willing to do anything with any of those strange people and with Mark there. The door opened and Mark is standing there with half his shirt up. I saw this before in my own room. His chest beaded with sweat trickling down his stomach. I looked up and he said "oh" and closed the door.

I wiped, washed my hands, and went back downstairs I sat in the kitchen stuck.

Frozen he came in there apologizing. I thought you were one of them. I couldn’t even look at him. He really didn’t want me and the realization hit me like a tsunami. We finally left for home the next day the ride took forever.

I get home and I am balling my eyes out. How could I have been so stupid I walked my naive ass straight into an orgy. I caught feelings for someone after a month. I loved him more than I loved myself that was the problem. I saw him drowning and thought I could save him but in all reality I needed to save me.

There were nights I cried so hard I screamed and I shook then I lost my mind.

He told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. He told me he didn't know what to do and I believed him. I became so absorbed with making things comfortable for him I forgot about my feelings.

He kissed me so deeply my soul left my body, the love we made was beautiful he took and I gave freely of the deepest parts of me until there was nothing left. I cut my thigh until it bled to try to release some of the hurt. It worked for a little until. I did it again and this time it bled more. Dark thoughts filled my mind you should just get in the tub and end it all. Then I kept thinking what would my family think how would they feel if I killed myself. Moments turned into hours than to days and all I could do was cry. Why would I want to live in a world where nothing I did or didn't do mattered.

Do it I thought maybe if I could just pass out for awhile I would feel better but I was sadly mistaken. Tears stained my cheeks as I struggled to breathe.

I swallowed eight muscle relaxers and drifted away. I dreamt of large black clouds, vicious dogs, and dark figures. What are you doing? they asked It is not your time we are sending you back. In the distance I saw my father starring at the

floor shaking his head. I knew he was ashamed so was I. The rain pounded on my window as if commanding me to wake up.

I had gotten lost in thought again my phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

“Lexi what are you doing? I have been calling you for two day"

“I’m having a rough day Brian"

“How rough can your day be that you didn't answer the phone for me in two days?" Brian asked.

“I was going to tell you everything but I couldn't get through it without crying." I explained

"What happened?"

“I walked myself into a big mess B”

“I thought you said you were going to Myrtle Beach with your other friends?”

We were supposed to be going to the beach but instead we ended up in the projects with some people I never met. I told Brian everything.

Fast Forward two weeks later he came knocking at my door he wanted to

apologize for his behavior. It was three in the morning when he said he was

coming over. My sister waited outside with me she talked with us for a bit.

I looked past him at this point he really was sorry. He kissed me so passionately but something inside of me resisted he took off my clothes. Kissed his way down between my thighs as he sucked on my love spot, Ahhhhh I moaned don’t do this to me. Let me please you let me do this for you this is my way of saying sorry it is the only way I know how. He thrusted deep inside of me ahhhhhh dooon I couldn't get the words out I couldn’t tell him to stop.

"Look at me he said did you miss me?"

"Yyyyessss" I moaned

"Yes what?" he insisted

"Yyyyeesss III missed you" I stuttered

Don why are you doing this to me?

You deserve this let me give it you

We laid there spent afterward for once my thoughts weren't going a mile a minute. My legs were sore and so was my love spot. I drifted off while he stroked my thigh

The next morning I couldn't help but stare at his gorgeous chocolate face. His beard is always well groomed. Anyway he woke up with a hangover but in a pleasant mood.

"We had a good time didn't we?" He asked

I told him yea but as he got up and got dressed I could not help but think I wouldn’t see him for a while again. The last time it was a week. He bent over kissing my cheek have a good day Lex I will hit you up later.

Ebony came over three days later to check on me I had not been returning her phone calls or anyone’s for that matter. How long has it been since you seen him Lex?

"Three days" Lex said as the tears began falling.

"No call no text?" Ebony asked.

"No" Lex cried.

Ebony slowly began realizing that he didn't care about Lexi nearly as much as she thought he should. Lexi was caring kind and knew how to get along with almost anyone so why was he so standoffish?

“What makes him so different from everyone else?" Ebony asked.

“He has dreams goals aspirations he is driven you know?"

“What he is, is a self centered asshole who blames the flaws of his character on the way others treated him." I yelled.

"That isn't fair he was just dealt a messed up hand in this life don't you understand?"

"Yea I get it weren’t we all dealt shitty cards in life but it is all about what you choose to make of it?"

“You just do not understand.”

“Yea you're right I don't understand but what I do get is that he is a bullshit ass douche bag who you keep making excuses for and I know you deserve better.”

“Fine what do you suggest?”

“Just leave him alone lexi the summer just started we can go everywhere do

anything else. Plus it will be better than you just sitting around the house waiting on him.”

“You dial the number and I will tell him" Lexi sighed deeply.

"Yo what's up?" Mark answered breathing heavily.

"Hey are you busy?" Lexi questioned.

“Nah, just got done on the treadmill, what's going on?"

“I know you hate when I bring this up but I think we should call what ever this is between you and I off" Lexi said.

" Lexi listen I don't know who you have been talking to but I already told you we cool" Mark slowly explained.

"I can't do this with you anymore we go days without hearing from eachother and then people in the street are saying you been out here with other women" Lexi cried.

"You will believe everything anyone tells you Lex; you’re so damn gullible."

"Look I did not call to go back and forth with you it is over Mark " Lexi said as she hung up the phone.

Lexi told Ebony she had to go.

I called my therapist who went into an explanation that no everything that happens in life is deserved. My best friend Brian had not called me in a couple days. Come to think of it Tara had not contacted me since the night of the party. I tried calling her phone she did not answer. I called Marks phone he did not answer.

After I got off the phone with my therapist Ebony called saying she needed to talk to me and to meet her at the diner at twelve thirty. I got dressed but there was a funny feeling in my stomach. As I walked up the street to the diner there was a news headline stating four people brutally murdered. Ebony Jane, Mark Patelle, Tara Daniels, and Carl Tinson. The news reporter explained a little black book had been found with details on the murders and why. I watched in disbelief as the answers to all of my questions were read aloud on national television. The reporter explained if anyone could identify the book and handwriting there would be a reward of $100,000. I knew the handwriting. My phone rang again hey lexi it is me Brian I just want you to know I love you and do what is right you will be taken care of and can start over new.

I cried all the way to the police station and as I gave the police officer my best friend Brian Henry’s name I knew he did it for me but I felt so ashamed What would I do now? A warrant was issued for his arrest and a copy of the explanation from the black book was given to me.

Lexi I did this because they were all snakes and deserved to die. You deserve better people than that. I am sorry I won’t be around to see the amazing person you will become but never forget me love always your best friend B.

It turns out Ebony had been sleeping with Mark, Carl, and Tara. All of these things were hidden from me Lexi, but who has the last laugh now.