The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Freedom

Two truths and a lie: I am a woman, I love sex, and I orgasm every time.

Think you know the answer?

Sorry, but it’s a trick question; all three are true.

I’m not quite sure how sex became such a taboo topic. Sure, it’s personal, but there isn’t any sense in shaming each other for doing something that a majority of adults do on a frequent basis. I’m far more concerned about who doesn’t wash their hands after using a public restroom than I am about who has a lot of sex!

Unbeknownst to my family and friends, I am a very sexual person. You wouldn’t guess it by looking at or talking to me, but I find myself thinking about sex— in all its kinky glory— on a frequent basis. When I’m daydreaming at work, it’s usually about what type of sex I’ll have that night. Sorry, boss.

Of the three truths above, though, I’m sure I tripped you up with the orgasms. After all, we’ve all been fed the idea that women can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t be orgasming. Where’s the fun in that? It’s time that we stop stigmatizing female orgasms and masturbation. It’s real, it’s here, and it’s super fun.

Since embracing sex as the beautiful act that it is— both with a partner and alone— I have seen a positive difference in my physical and mental health. And you deserve to feel this good, too. Follow these tips to achieve sexual freedom you didn’t know was possible.

Tip #1: Start fresh.

Most of us began learning about sex through an uncomfortable elementary or middle school class with vague definitions and zero open conversation. Take everything you’ve been taught about sex and sexuality, and throw it out the window. Forget the filtered curriculum and ambiguous descriptions; it’s time to do your own research. A shocking amount of women do not even know all of the parts of their genitals, and which parts give them the most pleasure. Shouldn’t that be basic knowledge?

Take time to discover how sex works, why we do it (beyond procreating), and how to maximize your sexual experiences. Do some reading and watching. What’s most important is redefining sex as something natural and powerful. When you realize the benefits of sex, you’ll no longer see it as something sinful.

Tip #2: Explore your interests.

After you’ve done your research, the fun part begins: practicing. Even if you think you have it all figured out, I’m willing to bet that you don’t. Whether you have a partner or not, self-exploration is a necessary component of sexual freedom. No one knows your body and its sensations better than you, so why would you leave it up to someone else to decide what to do?

Schedule some me-time, and commit to the cause. Try different motions in different locations, and pay attention to what makes your toes curl. Be sure to also incorporate accessories and situations which get you excited. Everyone has a kink; if you don’t, you just haven’t found it yet.

Tip #3: Invest in the best.

Like everything else in life, when it comes to sex toys and accessories, you get what you pay for. I used to think that orgasms just weren’t possible for me; then I bought a vibrator. What I didn’t realize, though, is that the very best vibrators offer otherworldly orgasms, and various forms of them.

My desire to maximize my sexual freedom led me to collect a vast array of sex toys and vibrators, and I can confidently say that LELO is the way to go. LELO is a sex-positive and wellness-focused company which aims to turn your sexy time into a luxurious experience.

Although I have almost every toy LELO offers, my current favorite is the newest on the lineup: the LELO ENIGMA. The ENIGMA is a dual vibrator unlike any other I’ve tried (and I’ve tried a lot). It comes with the best parts of traditional rabbit and clit sucker in order to create a one-two-punch that will leave you tingling in the afterglow. LELO’s patented SenSonic Technology builds orgasms rapidly— it’s actually difficult to use this toy and not orgasm multiple times.

Another perk of LELO toys is that they are soft and beautiful; while some toys feel intimidating, LELO’s feel inviting.

If your sex life feels redundant, it’s probably time to try something new. We invest in skin care, hair care, and nutrition; what makes sexual health any less important?

Tip #4: Embrace your inner freak.

One of the best things I’ve done for (and to) myself during my journey to sexual freedom is embracing my kinky side. Kinks are seen as taboo because they acknowledge that sex is fun— but isn’t fun a huge part of the point? Sex is personal, and the ways you approach it should reflect your personal interests too.

Whether alone or with a trusted partner, taking the time to try new approaches is so worthwhile. You don’t realize the feelings you’re missing until you discover them!

Have sex in new places. Have a partner use the LELO ENIGMA on you. Use the ENIGMA on them. Buy fun outfits. Role play. Talk dirty. Whatever you try, buy into it! You might surprise yourself with what gets you going.

If you try something new and it doesn’t work for you, there’s no harm done. Trial and error is often overlooked in intimacy; if you never step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll never maximize your orgasms, intimacy, or satisfaction.

Tip #5: Start conversations.

If we want to break the cycle of shame and stigma, we need to start talking about sex. I’ll be the first to admit that this can be hard to do. I’ve always been very expressive and clear with my sexual partners— after all, you can’t expect someone to satisfy you if you didn’t tell them how.

However, it’s also important to have open conversations with our friends. We need to let our fellow women know that loving sex is something to celebrate. Whether it’s talking about new experiences or sharing the word about LELO, the more we talk about the sex, the more normalized it becomes.

Sex is good! Sex is fun! Sex is empowering!

With the right toy and right mindset, your perception of sex and orgasms will change forever. So, schedule some time to play under the sheets. You’ll thank yourself for it later.