The Man who will Surely Break my Heart

I have always had a soft spot for Ryan. I would never let him know it, but I feel like a giddy school girl every time he's around. I am only offered a welcomed relief from the butterflies that swarm my stomach by sighing deeply to compose myself. If done publicly, I worry I would surely expose the wicked thoughts that consume me. I'm painfully aware that my face, blushed pink and hot to the touch, will give away that the delicate flower between my thighs, pulsates desperately. It dampens my panties and threatens to uncover the wishful intentions that overcome me, when I let my mind wander too far about him.

I push that thought from my brain, you're getting your car serviced for fucks sake I remind myself, before turning the corner into the car park of his shop. I park my car and wait for a split second to relax before hopping out. I straighten the tight, black figure-hugging dress that I have paired with a simple pair of black sandals. Understated, but cute. I'm pleased with my outfit choice. I amble casually over to the small reception desk, not wanting to appear too eager. Ryan is lounging back in his office chair, talking on the phone to what sounds like a client.

This gives me a chance to observe him for a minute. I shouldn't let my gaze linger too long, however I can't help but awe at how incredibly handsome he is. His strong muscular arms bulge from the sleeves of the black t-shirt he's wearing. God he's been working out too!? I sigh in my head. His complexion is honey coloured, tanned but not dark. His skin appears smooth. I can't help but want to run my finger lightly along his bicep from his elbow right up and along his neck to the base of his ear. I just want to touch him.

Ryan has what I would call a 'lumberjack beard', it's a chocolate-brown colour with hints of auburn that lighten the ends. He looks up at me and grins, mouthing 'sorry' whilst still on the phone. That's when I get to see them again, I've missed looking into them. Those incredible, piercing blue eyes. The kind of eyes that when you stare into them for too long, you start to imagine a life, and then swiftly all the ways you know he will break your heart. They're the kind of eyes that force you to catch your breath.

Ryans eyes are what initially attracted me to him in the first place. He's been my brothers best friend for the better part of ten years now. For a long while, I didn't see him as any more than a family friend. He has always been kind, hilarious and charismatic. He has a depth to him that not a lot of people give him credit for. One day we were discussing something, I can't even remember really what it was, however in that moment it dawned on me that the funny, kind, charismatic kid that once was Ryan, had grown up... and holy shit had he gotten hot!

I realise where I am again, and shake the thoughts from my head quickly before peering over the desk at him. I feel awkward now, wondering if he noticed me staring. His hands are black and dirty from working in the shop, they're so big. I cringe internally, embarrassed that I've barely been here for all of five minutes and I'm already thinking about how delightful it would be to feel those strong hands grabbing firmly onto my hips. I shudder ever so slightly in pleasure thinking about it.

"Hey Buddy!" he exclaims as soon as he's off the phone.

"Your car's in good shape. Just had an oil change. Oh, and you need new tyres... yours are buggered!" he finishes.

"Thank you kindly, sir." I say, smiling sweetly at him and making eye contact with those beautiful ocean-coloured orbs for a second too long.

We make small talk for a few moments, I shuffle around his shop looking at the plethora of beat-up cars he has stored there, which he's working on as little projects. I ask him questions, I'm genuinely interested. I would love to have a hobby and be good at it. That's another thing I like about him, that he's so hard working. He's always tinkering away at something in this shop, when he's not looking after clients' vehicles.

I hand over the cash for this service, thanking him again. I get work done on my car heavily discounted, thanks to being the little sister of his best friend. I don't want him to think I only come to him for a cheap deal though, so I throw in an extra thirty bucks to round up the total, and refuse to accept his change.

I hover at the reception after receiving my receipt, he's chatting away to me, almost hurriedly as though he has so much to get out before I leave. I don't want to. I could stay here forever and listen to his loud goofy laugh, that fills the room and my heart all at once, with his witty jokes and sarcastic sense of humour. I ask him what he's getting up to for the rest of the night, and he makes an unconvincing attempted-sarcastic remark about drinking alone in the shop but 'not being an alcoholic' because he's trying to avoid going home to the woman who, my brother once described as 'the spawn of Satan'.

Ah yes, I'm brought back to reality, harsh and fast. His on-again, off-again girlfriend Kiara still lives with him. They've been trying to call it quits for almost a year now, but never seem to bite the bullet.

I know him better than to let him get away with using humour to mask genuine issues that he has going on. My heartbeat quickens, I'm nervous. I don't want him to think I'm coming on to him, especially because he's just mentioned Kiara too, and we both know I'm just not that kind of girl. Before I can think too long, I blurt it out;

"I'll be spending the evening drinking red wine and listening to music by myself on my balcony. You could come over, and we could be not-lonely-alcoholics together?" I trail off.

Ryan smiles shyly at me in a way I haven't seen before. His eyes tell me he's grateful, relieved even, that someone has offered to lend a listening ear.

"That would be nice." He mumbles quietly, giving me an approving nod.

This vulnerability makes him more attractive, I want to wrap my arms around him right then and there, even if only platonically. He looks like he needs somebody's warmth. I hadn't realised he was struggling, but I should have, knowing how in his own thoughts he can get.

"Okay, well I'll head home now, and just text we when you're popping over?" I say, not sure whether I'm asserting or questioning and not wanting to embarrass him by confirming that I've seen the pain in his face.

"Cool, I've got a couple things to finish up and then I'll be right over." he chirps, returning back to his bubbly self.

I hop back into my car. He watches me leave. I pretend not to notice that my black dress has ridden up slightly, no doubt exposing the tiny lace panties underneath as I settle into my drivers seat. I make my way home, allowing naughty thoughts to creep back in during the drive home. I'll need to change these cute lace panties now.

Authors note: Admittedly, this introduction is very mild. Hang out for Part 2 if you would like to know what happens next! I will be posting twice weekly Tuesday & Friday with subsequent parts of The Man who will Surely Break my Heart.