Should a Dominant be; Loved, Feared, Admired or the Origin of Lust?

So, which is it? Love, fear, admiration or lust? Of course, the answer is a balance of all.

First, the Domineer will gain the submissives lust.

The first time the sub's eyes gaze upon Their (*1) dominant beauty, a fire sparks within them and a feeling of inferiority is felt. Slowly they become addicted to everything about their Dominant. Their obedient mind becomes filled with thoughts of the Domineer and their submission to Them.

"How can i please Them? What are They wearing today? How can i best serve my Dominant? How can i make my Domineer proud Etc…"

Then they start to admire their Dominant.

Not only because of Their remarkable beauty but because; They are strong, empowered, attiring, charming and engaging. They do not pretend, They are perfect, but They know Their power and Their worth.

Then of course, love follows admiration.

The submissive begins to feel charged and euphoric, easily slipping into a safe subspace around Their Domineer. Everything feels exciting and new, even everyday activities like chores become more enjoyable. The submissive becomes more willing to try new things, or things they previously didn’t care for, simply because their Dominant enjoys it and they feel safe. They do not mind making sacrifices for Them, because they know their Domineer has their best interest in mind.

The desire to not disappoint, to make their Dominant happy, proud and satisfied, the complete safety they feel around Them eventually allows the submissive to re-explore previous soft and possibly hard limits.

The first time is often a very intense scene for the submissive but it’s euphoric feeling will be most sought after. They feel a sense of honour and pride to have been able to exceed expectations and prove their love and their devotion.

Finally, they become fearful.

Not of their Dominant. A sub should never fear their Dom or Domme, but rather they fear disappointing Them, no matter what They want; out of love and devotion, that simply knowing they have displeased their Domineer is worse than any physical punishment. The worry of losing Their trust after disappointing Them can hit a submissive very hard. Therefore, the submissive accepts punishments, this is secondary. The only worry currently is not to lose the trust of their Domineer.

A Domineer cultivates these emotions within their submissive in many ways. However, it all starts as the first set of rules are given.

It is important to define the rules from the start, to give a line of conduct for the rest of the relationship. Bad habits can be easily adopted and hard to break. Not impossible, but why allow a bad habit to form or continue.

These are the first set of rules I like to give my budding submissives;

1. You must address me as Mistress or Mistress Peach from now on

2. You must never disrespect your Mistress in any way – whether you are in my presence or not.

3. You will enter any failures to observe any of the commands and rules into the “OTHER” sections of the obedience app (*2), and from here on out it will be referred to as your Training Journal.

4. Do not avoid what I order you to do. My instructions and rules are straight forward, simple and I do not ask much of you, trying to resist will result in additional punishments.

5. Fulfil all commands/tasks/homework in the required time frame, or if one is not provided within reason.

6. While undertaking training a submissive will be prohibited to pleasure themselves OR others, except with My explicit approval.

7. Be grateful for the guidance and for your training, you will spread good word about your training and instruction to like-minded people.

8. When you feel unsafe or are in too much pain, you are required to use your safe words – even if Mistress has told you to be totally silent. If you are not able to verbalize it for some reason, you may express it in whatever form has been consented (*3). You must be careful not to take more than you can handle, even a Dominatrix needs feedback to know when to stop.

9. Always be honest and true, knowing that honesty and truthfulness will help you to win My approval.

10. Be both precise and exact in your communication. Give as complete and accurate answers to questions when I ask you. You are not allowed to hide secrets from me. Express your true honest submissive emotions. Work hard to welcome this openness of body, mind, and soul.

Mistress Peach xo

*1 Note: Throughout this article, the capitalisation is purposely grammatically incorrect, to emphasis the dynamic.

*2 Note: The obedience app, it is a well designed highly regarded BDSM habit tracker you can download to most devices (more information available here: http://obedienceapp.com/).

*3 Note: I do not specify an action. Rather I infer that before the scene I will have considered the risk of the submissive not being able to verbalise their safe word therefore will have discussed with you a suitable alternative as each scene comes with its own set of risks.