Sensual massage or sex — what exactly happens during Tantra?

Tantra, what was that again? It sounds a bit exotic, but also somehow like Aunt Erna. In any case, it has something to do with sex. But only esoterics do that, right?

If similar thoughts go through your head as soon as you hear the word Tantra, you’ve come to the right place. Nothing is misinterpreted as much as Tantra — but there is much more to this spiritual teaching than most people think.

In short: Tantra is a pleasurable practice originating in India, with which you can become more aware of your body and mind and discover your own sexuality in a completely new way by combining sensuality with spirituality. How this works, which practices and rituals belong to it and how Tantra heats up the desire, I explain to you here.

What is a tantric massage?

Many people think of tantra as a small room where people roll around naked on mats and mountains of pillows and massage each other, which eventually degenerates into vigorous group sex. However, the extensive kneading art is not as pornographic as many imagine a tantric massage to be.

The tantric massage is a respectful massage ritual in which the entire body is touched and massaged in a harmonious and natural way — yes, even in the intimate area. Do you always have sex with the tantric masseur afterwards? No, not necessarily. Unless you want to, for example because he is your partner. Then, of course, you can do whatever you want with each other.

What do I need for a Tantra massage with my partner?

According to a British study, a partner massage is beneficial for well-being and mental health. So what to wait for? For the Tantra massage to be a great experience for you and your partner, it is enormously important that you both feel comfortable and that you can let go. Of course, this goes with a pleasant and sensual atmosphere. Therefore, you should get a few things beforehand:

Beautiful candles that wrap your bedroom (or even living room) in a warm light. Here it is up to you.

Before you start, you can turn on some relaxing music.

For intimate massage is suitable good lubricant gel

If you want to use a condom later, you should rather choose a water-based lubricant.

Do you come to orgasm during the tantric massage?

An orgasm is not necessarily on the schedule during the intimate massage itself. If you have one — great. If not: don’t worry about it, because this is also completely normal. Because it’s more about the spiritual level and about expanding your consciousness.

However, you can only reach this level if you get your “sexual energies” flowing. Yes, that’s what Tantra calls it. The credo is: during orgasm, sexual energy unfolds and this can be used much more effectively than simply “discharging” it in the course of a climax.

The goal is: learn to consciously perceive your sexual energy and thus discover a completely new side of your sexuality. Sex therapist and tantra instructor Michaela Riedl knows: “Nothing conveys devotion as well as the tantric art of touch.”

What is a tantric massage about?

Mainly, as I said, about sexual energy. Because not only are lots of hormones released during sex, according to Tantra teachings, sexual energy also flows. According to Tantra, this energy can fuel your desire and take you to higher dimensions — even to the point of ecstasy.

To do this, however, you must learn to redirect this energy and get the 7 main chakras flowing. Chakras are the so-called “energy centers” of the body. They are located in areas along the spine and regulate the “energy flow” in the body. Through tantric massage and special breathing exercises, you get them flowing. Et voilá: Ecstasy.

“For many people, it’s about experiencing a positive body feeling,” says Riedl. But emotions that lie dormant deep inside you can also come up during a tantra massage. Crying is therefore not an uncommon reaction. Not because the massage causes physical pain, of course, but because unconscious or repressed feelings are suddenly released. However, most women experience the massage as a soothing, sensual experience and can really let themselves go.

Ecstasy, what is it actually?

Complete ecstasy is a loss of control, an experience of pleasure that goes beyond normal consciousness. A moment when you completely lose yourself and let go completely. You feel the pleasure spread throughout your entire body and become more and more intense in waves. Your mind is not distracted by anything, you feel freed from worries, everyday stress, pressure to perform and the expectations of others.

In this rushing moment of happiness you perceive only you and your body, which usually ends with an explosive orgasm that makes your entire body shake from head to toe. Some women even start to tremble during the intense sensation of pleasure.

How exactly does a tantric massage proceed?

Those who have already experienced one or the other massage will be surprised by the intensity and length of a tantric massage. Before the massage even begins, there is a preliminary talk with the masseur or masseuse. By the way, it doesn’t matter if the massage is performed by a woman or a man. It will be discussed whether you have complaints of a physical, physical or sexual nature. You can also exclude individual applications in advance. It is also a good opportunity to build trust and sympathy before getting down to business.

In order to open up and let go completely during the massage, you should feel especially comfortable in the room. Shame and mistrust are completely out of place here. Once you are calm and relaxed, the massage begins. You will be massaged from head to toe with warm oil. Usually it starts with a full body massage, and only at the end it is the turn of the intimate area. Sex? No way!

The complete massage, including a pre- and post-massage talk in which you reflect on the last hours with the masseur, lasts 2 to 4 hours. So be sure to bring plenty of time, because hectic should not arise during a Tantra massage.

How much does a professional tantric massage cost?

You want to work with professionals? The prices for a tantra massage vary depending on the provider and duration and range from 250 to 1000 euros. An expensive pleasure, yes. But for that you will be massaged all over for up to 4 hours.

Please note: Due to the Corona crisis, such intimate services as tantra massages are partly restricted. However, in some states they are allowed. So better inform yourself before you will be disappointed!

One thing is clear: If you don’t necessarily insist on a professional massage and/or don’t want to be massaged by a stranger in the intimate area, a tantric massage by your own partner is the much cheaper option. However, before he just massages, you should inform yourself in advance through appropriate reading, seminars or workshops. Another variant: You look for a tantric masseur as your partner. But this is really up to you.

How are the genitals massaged during the Tantra massage?

You really want the complete program? Good. In the intimate massage there are two variants, the one for the female sex (Yoni), and the one for the male (Lingam).

The Yoni massage

Yoni stands for the female genitalia and as the name suggests, the masseur pays special attention to the female genital area during the Yoni massage. The focus here is clearly on the vagina. The inner and outer labia, the mons veneris, the anus, as well as the clitoris and the G-spot are massaged. In addition to the pleasant stimulation, the Yoni massage is suitable for releasing tension and pressure — because just as you can have a tense back, blockages can also form in your intimate area.

Before you engage in this intimate encounter, you can read up on yoni massage with appropriate literature.

The Lingam Massage

Not only women benefit from the sensual massage — men also get their money’s worth from practiced Tantra hand movements. The male version of a Tantra massage revolves around the lingam, i.e. the male sexual area. During the lingam massage, the penis, testicles, anus and prostate are alternately massaged, which is said to send the man into a physical frenzy.

Men are also said to be able to have multiple orgasms if they control their sexual energy through the chakras. This pays off in other areas as well: Once he gets the hang of it, he can have sex for hours without coming.

Do I need a tantra workshop before a tantra massage?

According to Riedl, it is not necessary to attend a workshop before a professional tantra massage. The tantra masseur performs the massage, there is nothing for you to do except to say if something doesn’t feel good. Nevertheless, it makes sense to know approximately what to expect.

You should know these Tantra basics before your first massage:

The whole body is touched and massaged — including the intimate area.

You and the masseur are both completely naked during the massage.

Yes, you may touch the masseur.

No, sex with the masseur is excluded (if he is not your partner).

The masseur determines the course of the treatment, but you can exclude individual applications in advance.

Can a tantric massage improve sex?

And how! Especially for women, Tantra can change things for the better. In a tantra massage, women often experience for the first time that it’s all about them and that they are not just a “fulfillment assistant” for male desires for satisfaction. Sexuality can be more than the glue of a relationship.

“They experience, often in tears, a comprehensive appreciation of their bodies and their femininity, regardless of their outward appearance,” says Michaela Riedl. In the process, some women even experience vaginal orgasms, full-body orgasms or ejaculate.

What is Tantra Yoga?

If you now think that Tantra Yoga involves trying out all the postures of the Kamasutra, we have to disappoint you. Of course, all kinds of yoga will make you more flexible, but Tantra Yoga, or more precisely Kundulani Yoga, has less to do with sex. But it has to do with the sexual energy that lies dormant in every woman and wants to be awakened.

Prayanamas, breathing exercises that you repeat during a yoga session, open your chakras and balance your energy centers. Tantra Yoga not only brings you to more self-love through new self-awareness, but also ensures that deep-rooted fears can be released.

Tantra can be a source of pleasure and relaxation. Those who surrender to the practices can get to know their own sexuality in a completely new way. You don’t want to miss the chance of an ecstatic orgasm, do you?