Routine Couple: Not as Bad as You Think!

Surely you already know a few tricks to spice up your relationship, either from friends or from specialized reading (books, magazines, internet).

Most of the tips include more time with your boyfriend, a weekend at the sea/mountain together, and the famous number of stripteases made in extremely sexy lingerie.

I am convinced that you have tried many sexual fireworks, romantic surprises, and unique experiences. But the routine has been temporarily improved or dropped.

And in the end, you think that long-term relationships have no chance unless you fall in love after the age of 25 when you are ready to "sit at home" - a euphemism for resignation to the boredom that awaits you. Mostly you're right, that's because you look at it from one point of view.

The most effective way to fight the routine is to accept it and not look at it as the number 1 enemy of the couple. This is not easy, you just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

Stereotype 1: We need to pepper the sex parties to fight the routine.

The couple's routine has little to do with the quality of sex. Here is a study that will enlighten you. Led by Arthur Aron, the study showed that the part of the brain that wakes up when we are madly in love is related to ambition and motivation. It's not about physical attraction and sex drive.

Researchers were upset by the results after analyzing 17 people who said they were in love. Analyzes showed more activity in the brain area that determines the need for gain, conformation than in the one that determines sexual attraction.

Aron said: "It seems that love is an activity focused on gain, on achieving goals, and this fact leads to emotions and euphoria."

The study found that the region of the brain that deals with early love are different from the region that deals with sexual desire. Winning a girl's heart acquires its psychological meaning here.

What does this study mean? Some spicy sex parties will not get rid of the couple's routine. You have lost interest and boredom has set in because the brain region that determines motivation and gain is no longer stimulated. Why else?

The relationship is years old, you are sure to grow old together, you have already won! So the euphoria, the emotions mentioned by the researcher Aron, disappear, they have no reason to settle. And that's how you feel as a couple.

The old saying, "You only appreciate something when you lose it" largely covers the idea of ​​this study. If you were afraid again that your boyfriend is not in love, that he is not as involved … you would relive the emotions of the beginning of the relationship. And then you could say that the routine is fought.

Stereotype 2: Routine is harmful and must be defeated!

Imagine the following scenario. You know an attractive man who puts you on fire. But you've been dating your boyfriend for years. You choose to break up with him to be with the new man.

Surely you will feel those shivers, that emotion. You will live in passion … until you feel like you want more, you have fallen in love. So you go back to where you came from, the desire for stability.

We do not impose love on ourselves. We feel it because we want to. And if it is shared, a solid couple is born. A solid couple comes with a package, whether we like it or not, with … regularity, stability, and security, things we need as much as passion.

According to the study, if we want to overcome routine, platonic love means that we want to return to distrust of the other. To court again, to impress your partner at any cost. Because only these things motivate us to love passionately.

The fear of routine means, in the end, the fear of certainty, and this is a contradiction.

Stereotype 3: Routine means boredom

Boredom is about the autopilot in which you live your life. It is not the security of the relationship that bothers you, but the lack of fun.

If you put your worries aside from time to time and take advantage of your time together, doing unique activities, you will bring more happiness to the couple. You will not feel that you have fought the routine, but you will feel that you are living again.

In the end, the average between moments of joy and moments of comfort for two is beneficial. This way you have fun, without losing the stability of the couple.

If you go through these stereotypes and understand that routine is born of trust in the other, so if something positive, you will not fight the routine, but you will realize that you need it!

Lack of routine in the couple means the fear that you will lose it or the desire to win it, things that you can not build a marriage, for example.