The first time I tried anal I really didn’t know what I was getting into. I remember thinking, "I use my anus all the time, how bad could this be." I could not have been so terribly wrong! One, no one ever told me that you were supposed to gently work your way up to penetration. I had seen so many porn movies and wanted to try it so bad! I bought some lube and started practicing alone. I had purchased an anal plug that was thin and narrow. I first began to masturbate while simultaneously placing the anal plug inside of my rectum. I was thrilled! It made my orgasm 10 times better. So the next time I had sex I thought I would give it a try. My boyfriend was in full thrust and I was coming close to an O. Without thinking I said, "F%$# me, put it in my a$%." At first he thought I was just talking dirty and continued pumping. I then said, "I want you to cum in my a$%." He began to go faster and in one swoop shoved his entire penis into my a$%. I screamed like someone put fireworks in my boots.
At this point I probably should have realized something was different about my boyfriend. When he heard me scream he started making these sounds that sounded like a donkey. He was so loud! I fell on my stomach but he still continued to ram his peter inside of me again and again. He didn’t stop until he was finished. When I tried to stand it was hard for me to walk. I decided that anal sex was not for me and I was going to leave it to the pros. It turns out though, anal sex was like Pandora’s box. He had found something that he liked and wasn’t giving it up that easy. We would have all out fights over this issue.
He would tell me if I didn’t agree to it he would find someone who would. Now, after saying that, I want to make it clear that anytime someone makes a threat like that, please understand mentally they have already followed through. At first I would give in but after a while I just didn’t care anymore. Anal sex hurt too bad, no matter what he did. The superficial tears in my rectum would just rip back open even after a month or two. Our relationship ended behind his obsession with my butt. I would like to take the time to say to anyone in this situation that if someone wants you to do anything sexually that you are not comfortable with, say no. Also, if during the act after you have consented you change your mind, that’s ok too. If you say stop, that means stop. That’s the whole reason for safe words, right! So if they are not stopping that may mean you are not safe!
It wasn’t until years later that I found out what anal sex could do to you. I had started working for a colon and rectal surgeon. Part of my job was to get patients ready to see the physician. The first thing I would do is ask the patient to get undressed and had them lay on a jackknife table. A jackknife table is one that elevates so that your butt is raised in the air higher than your head. I would cover the patient, then have them sit on their knees in the prayer position. The patient would then bend over the table and I would cover them with a drape. The doctor would wait about five minutes then knock to make sure all was clear before coming in.
I would then raise the table up so that their buttocks was eye level with the doctor. When I first started working for the practice, I noticed something different about the instruments our colon and rectal specialist used. If the doctor was performing an exam on a male patient, he would use a large silver anascope. If the patient was a women, he would use a tiny anascope that was the size of a hotdog. When I asked the physician why, he said that men typically have a larger sphincter muscle than women. At the time, I didn’t even think of what that meant for anal sex.
After about three weeks of working for the practice, a woman who was in her early 40s came in for a visit. The first thing I did was take her vitals then instructed her to get undressed while I shielded her. After the patient was undressed, she got on the table and I covered her with the drape. When the physician came in, I raised the table to its proper height, put on my gloves, then walked around to lift up drape. The doctor still had his back turned. When I raised the drape I was faced with this bee hive shape mound of red meat that was covered with mucus and poop. It was so large that you couldn’t even see the patients butt cheeks anymore. I gasped for air so loudly that the doctor jumped. It was a good thing the patient couldn’t see me because I was freaking out. The doctor turned around and had to stop himself from laughing at my reaction. Tears rolled down his cheeks for the rest of the exam. Her anus was so large, he had to push her colon back inside of her with his fist. Up until that point I had seen tape worms, rectal abscesses, two patients who didn’t even have rectums, hemorrhoids, and anal warts but I had never seen anything like that.
He later called me into the office and explained to me what was going on. He said that she had a rectal prolapse. The doctor explained that this can occur if a patient has damage to the muscles in their rectum. He said that sometimes women will get a botched episiotomy which will cause her rectal muscles to give out over time. This was something that he typically saw in much older women. He said for younger women it often occurs from practicing anal sex. When someone has anal sex frequently and vigorously enough it can speed up the process, wearing down the muscle that holds our colon inside of us. As a result, the patient’s colon will fall outside of their bodies. The patient is no longer able to control bowel movements and will have to wear diapers unless they have surgery. Also, there is a chance that even after surgery patients may have complications and may need to continue to see a specialist to ensure all is well.
Before this happened I had never heard of a rectal prolapse. I think this is true for many people who are interested in anal sex. This is why I think this information is important to share. Not only can anal sex be painful, but it can also damage you for a lifetime. If you practice anal sex, please beware. Just because you do not currently have symptoms, it does not mean it can’t happen to you. I had a patient in her 30s who had been an escort for 10 plus years. I told her the dangers of anal sex. She told me that anal sex was not painful for her, and that she loved it. Sadly, in her case, her rectum was already stretched. This was the reason why she was not feeling any resistance. It turned out that she was having passive incontinence.