Merlot, More Then Just a Wine

Merlot, a name of a wine but instead to me it was a word that describes ecstasy, lust, perfection. A word that probably belonged to some rich kid as a name but to me meant euphoria, utopia...the link to my deepest desires.

I had seen him, watched him from afar. He had short brown streaks covering his head with cerillium blue eyes that put the Jamican waters to shame. Those eyes that held a lost desperate soul.. needing, wanting...alone, just like my own. That’s why I saw him and maybe that’s why he eventually noticed me besides the merlot.

I worked with Evan at UPS, both of us sporting the brown let’s get dirty postal. (Just not the let's get down and dirty I wanted to with him) I had been sporting the browns for much longer, him being much younger and working inside working up to driver when I met him. Yet can we say I met him? I never talked to him and I talked to everyone. He just loaded trucks, I was queen B. Only female driver and bad ass at that in my center. I have no filter, little fears and close relations with management so I do and say as I please. I didn’t even notice Evan at first but he grew on me. Maybe I just try to lie to myself because when we passed along the package belts and brushed up against each other I felt something. Its been two months but I remember it like yesterday. It was like electricity, fucking David Blaine magic, off the damn bend me over and show me the money hook!

When I felt Evan brush a spark I’d never known, experienced, took me over and I knew I needed to know him, meet him, my tongue lingered to taste his kiss, my body longed to feel it pressed alone my own, to feel his skin heating along my own, to feel him pressured inside of me. I wanted to know him….and at the same time I wanted to feel his warmth.

Some say I’m beautiful but I’m not conceited as much as I pretend to be. Demons haunt me, so many insecurities rule my world and become the reflection I see in the mirror. I didn’t have the courage even as outgoing as I am to ask him out. I just watched him from a distance, for weeks, for months, until he became a driver, became equivalent to me.

Today was different from others, me deciding to speak up, to be the bold Maya I am. When Evan and I both walked up to the computers to check our stop counts, him only centimeters away, my heart pounding frantically against my chest for escape, I made my move. “So how do you like driving? Sucks right?” I waited to meet his glance, my eyes deeply focused on the screen that had only become a hazy blur yet I was too nervous to turn away.

When Evan turned his head, his handsome face and chiseled chin meeting his shoulder, I finally made my way to look into his mesmerizing blue eyes that had me almost comatosed. Chuckling, “Yea, kind of sucks after awhile. I see why you were always bitching on the belts now.”

“Welcome to my world. Hell that is with great benefits. At least you know the healthcare is superb for your up and coming death.” I replied with sarcasm in my tone making quick eye contact but then quickly wisping my head and eyes away nonchalantly so he couldn’t see the desperation I held in needing and wanting his attention.

I heard another chuckle and then his husky questioning voice forced me to look back to him,” Hey, you busy Friday? I know we don’t really know each other but I was wondering if you wanna hang?” His eyes glimmered without light, my eyes focused onto them like a moth to a flame.

“I got nadda. I can hang.” My answer came back while I attempted to hold back my body obviously trembling. I brushed my fingers through my long black tresses trying to look cute and unscathed by the invitation.

“Nice,” he smiled and then handed me his phone. “Put your number in. I’ll text you later.”

Gladly I complied.

Friday Night

I’m sitting at the bar, my shift ending earlier because I finished my stops before Evan so I’m the first one to arrive. My phone goes off after waiting around for about 10 minutes, it’s Evan, PARKING B IN IN 2

My bad nerves get the best of me, my entirety nervously quivers, my glance constantly meeting over my shoulders looking at the front door waiting for his entry until he arrives.

In an instance he’s standing before me looking handsome as hell, my mouth practically watering at his gorgeous site, “ What are you drinking?”

“Merlot, I just like the name. I figure we can name our first child after it.” I joke knowing that he’s learned enough about me from working around me that I have this bold unfiltered type of humor and I do find the name intriguing.

Evan reaches out, his calloused fingers brush through my hair as his face moves closer to mine. He pulls my head to his so our lips meet, he tastes the Merlot, he tastes my want, he tastes all of me while our tongues do a dance. I feel a tingle in my stomach, a sense of butterflies I’ve never felt before.

“Im sorry. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. “ He whispers as he gradually pulls away from the most cosmic kiss I’ve ever known, his hands moving away from my face as slowly as his lips dispense which thankfully was also just as slow.

Five Years Later

“We’d like to name her Merlot,” I smile with Evan noneverescescently smiling back at me, our daughter in my arms.