#kinktok

Anyone else fall down the rabbit hole on tiktok?

I did, and I wound up on #kinktok.

I must say, for a new app, they are really lax on what you can and cannot post. I love the rope play videos where they show you different ways to tie up a torso on a sewing mannequin, but I really don't want to see any more old men with chokers on. That is something that you cannot unsee.

However, as experienced I am with the physical aspect of sex, I haven't really been able to dive into anything truly kinky as it were.

The guys that I have been with always seem really into it but then they get either nervous, excited, or for some reason jealous.

One time, a guy asked me to bring my vibrator over to his place so we could play with it together. No big deal. At least, it wasn't to me. I was excited, I'd never had someone else use a toy on me before and I got new batteries for it and cleaned it twice.

The minute I brought it out, the guy FREAKED OUT. We had had sex already, and no he wasn't that impressive downstairs but it got the job done, okay? But the second he saw my toy, he grabbed it and threw it across the room and asked me how he could compete with that.

It was really, really hard not to laugh at him to his face.

I sat there and reassured him that nothing could replace him.

But it was a lie, a month later we broke up and he was replaced with an upgraded model of that vibrator. That he broke.

Yeah, not only did he fling it across the room, he sat there and actually took it apart with a screwdriver and even though I can work with some minor electrical work like that, it was beyond fixing.

I was seeing another guy who came over to my place and took out my toy and said he wanted to use it on me. Okay, he didn't seem weirdly jealous of it and it was after round 1, so I agreed.

He just turned it on and then dropped it on my stomach and told me that it was possessed and that nothing should vibrate THAT much. From then on he called it 'cocktimus prime' and I have never been able to watch any of the Transformers movies again. Not that those movies are good anyway but I just can't.

Another guy told me to bring it on a weekend getaway vacation we planned.

'Alright' I thought to myself 'lets see what's behind door number 3.'

I took it out and he was impressed that my toy was fairly nice, its a rabbit not to brag. I paid good money for it, so I told him that if he broke it he would buy me a new one.

He agreed and we proceeded with our adult activities, and I asked him if he wanted to get the vibrator. He moaned and told me how hot it was that I'd ask him like that, and then he finished. Every time that weekend I brought up the vibrator, he'd be really into it but then be over it as soon as we started.

That's just with toys, I cannot tell you how many times I bought some sexy lingerie and worn it for a total of 25 seconds before it was ripped off my body. There has only been one time, and that was a corset and the guy I was with couldn't figure out how to take it off me.

Yes, I realize that not all men react in these particular ways but we gotta admit, it seems like it's a really good percentage of men that do. My friend once had a guy throw away all her sex toys because he said that he was enough for her.

So, going on #kinktok, and seeing that there are ways to get kinky with a guy and seeing him not freak out about it? That's a unicorn and I now follow several accounts of guys like that.

I'm fully prepared to build a religion around this hashtag, because I am curious about some aspects of BDSM and other things in that community but there isn't really a way to look up all this stuff without someone calling you out for it because it's taboo. But on tiktok, you can explore to your hearts desire, and what your stomach can handle because yeah there's an uncomfortable amount of really old creepy 'sugar daddies' on there if you dive too deep down the rabbit hole.

In conclusion, it's okay to stay what you're comfortable with, but don't stay there because the person you're currently with won't try anything else.