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How Masturbation Could Be Healthy for a Relationship

It isn't as bad as we make it out to be.

By Ashlyn HarperPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
Photo by Duncan Shaffer on Unsplash

For whatever reason, masturbation is frowned upon in our society. We punish kids when we catch them in the act, get mad at our spouses when we figure out they do it and look at it as disgusting. What we don't realize is that masturbation is a completely regular and healthy expression that we all partake in. Do you binge on chocolates or your favorite TV show? Is it because it brings you pleasure? Masturbating is just another form of self-pleasure that, in certain circumstances, can be healthy for a relationship.

One important reason we should all masturbate is for the simple fact that it helps us know more about our body and what feels good. It is a form of discovery that can improve sex with a significant other. If we never masturbate, how would we ever genuinely know what we like and don't like in the bedroom? By understanding your own body, you can use that knowledge to form intimate moments under the covers. It can even be a turn on to do it with your partner. Typically, a significant other finds it incredibly sexy to see you pleasure yourself and it can give you a major confidence boost.

But what about when your partner does it without you around? At first, we might take this as dissatisfaction in the relationship or think less of ourselves. Why would they feel the need to masturbate when they have you? I used to think the same exact thing, almost mortified by the fact that my boyfriend was doing this when I wasn't around. When we take out insecurities, why would we get so irritated by this fact?

I realized that my boyfriend masturbating bothered me because he was doing something so intimate without me. After a deep conversation, I found out that this wasn't necessarily the case. Sex isn't something that always happens with life and other matters get in the way. We all have a different level of sexual desire that can vary from our partners. For him, he feels that tension a lot more than I do. Instead of pushing me into a situation I might not want, he merely uses masturbation as a way to release some of his tension. In all honesty, he usually does it with me in mind (which can be a turn on to think about).

Not having as much sex as you like doesn't make you a bad person or give them an excuse to go out and cheat with a readily available stranger. However, masturbation is a healthy and normal alternative. Instead of forcing us into a situation we might not want at the moment, they decide to take matters into their own hand. For one, masturbating can be healthy for the body. For instance, it can release endorphins, reduce stress, help treat sexual problems, and even help you sleep better.

Besides exploring your body and knowing what it likes and doesn't like, masturbation can be a quicker alternative to the real thing. Sometimes we just don't have the time for sex. The other partner might be away, sleeping, or it just doesn't fit into the day's schedule (because sometimes it can be time-consuming). Masturbating is a quick fix to release some stress and help you go about your day. For women, it can even help relieve menstrual cramps. Personally, I hate having sex during my period. The sensation usually brings up some pain and adds pressure in places I don't want.

Masturbating helps some of the issues I face during that week. It gets rid of some of the pain and boosts my mood. It's also great for those ovulation days since there is no risk of getting pregnant. It isn't that I don't love my boyfriend, but a simple fact that it isn't always the opportune time to get under the covers. I also masturbate to learn more about how my body works so that I can help him (and myself) find moves that will simulate what I do to myself.

I get that it might seem odd that your significant other is masturbating. I will say if they are doing this more than having sex than you might need to have a conversation about why. It might be that you just haven't communicated enough about what turns your partner on and so they have a harder time getting to an orgasm. There should always be a balance between sex and masturbation in a relationship. Overall, it isn't a sin or something we should look down upon. It is an entirely normal activity that can be beneficial for relationships.


About the Creator

Ashlyn Harper

A chaotic room of stories. My curiosities lead me in all types of directions, creating a chaotic writing pathway. I want this place to be for experimenting, improving my craft, and sharing new ideas with anyone willing to read them.

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