Having a ‘Retro Toy Night’

It started as a tidying project. Our bedroom was overflowing. Between accumulated clothes, shoes, and books, the room looked like a typhoon had hit. So, over the holidays, we decided to tidy it up and get rid of some of our stuff.

The last part of the project was our secret sexy closet. Like the rest of the room, years of purchasing sex toys, lingerie, games, lingerie, and lubes had that closet bursting at the seams.

So, when we had a kid-free afternoon, we pulled everything out of the closet and took stock. The goal was to see what we wanted to keep and what could go. Within 30 minutes, our bed was covered with years of sexy memories.

There were toys and lingerie we had not seen for years. It was such a trip down memory lane.

We first carved off some of the toys and lingerie we had accumulated many years ago when we were just starting to get sexually adventurous. It brought back some great memories, but we saw that the things we bought back then were crap as we looked at them. The sex toys were primarily those jelly-like toys full of phthalates and had grown soft and gummy over time. It was fun to remember old adventures with them, but they quickly found their way to the garbage can.

The older lingerie was a different story. It was cheap and kind of trashy, but that made it even better. My wife tried on some of the favorites (and me too — we had a bit of men’s lingerie, too) and found amazing retro appeal in a lot of it. For example, the panties that rode high on the hips and covered the entire ass — this was a pre-thong-era baby. And those first thongs that, while a thong, were still kind of massive. It was so amazing retro hot.

We took photos of all the old lingerie, sent it to our friends, and promised each other a retro lingerie night (this was kind of fun — they were doing the same sex room cleaning the night that we were).

Then we came back to the sex toys that survived the phthalate purge. There was a lot, and they were wonderful. We put new batteries in ‘the butterfly’ — the first wearable sex toy we got. It was a little vibrating butterfly worn over the panties and controlled by a remote control that was attached by a thin little cord to the toy. It seems crazy in retrospect. We bought it before our first hotel vacation with our new baby. We went to the hotel lounge after the baby went to sleep. We had drinks and chatted as I remote-controlled the vibration in her panties. It was loud, and I can’t imagine what people would think if they saw the thin wire coming out of my wife’s pants. We’ve since upgraded to wireless, but we loved it at the time. And it was so naughty.

The next retro sex toy to come out was the magic wand. This was a hand-me-down from our friends. It was their original sex toy, and she found it a little too powerful for her taste. They gifted it to us years ago, and, frankly, my wife felt the same. A little too much force for her, but it was fun giving it another little test ride for old time’s sake.

We then moved to old games. We love sexy games and have accumulated so many over the years. As we looked at some of the older ones, we realized that the older sex games were the best. We tended to like the ones that encouraged sexy conversations — things like sharing fantasies and examing kinks. As we looked through them, we realized we had lost most of the cards in many of them, but we got a good list of games we now want to reorder.

We ended up spending the whole afternoon in this cleaning and reverie. It was awesome. At the end of the afternoon, we ended up with a neater closest, a great collection of forgotten toys and lingerie we want to bring back in the rotation and, finally, plans with friends to do a sex toy retro night in the very near future. All in all, it was a pretty productive afternoon.