Empowerment Through Submission

TAKING BACK POWER

Trauma takes many forms. According to apa.org, it affects “an estimated 5.2 million Americans between the ages of 18 and 54.” With so many suffering from past trauma, various therapies are available to provide coping mechanisms, such as psychotherapy, cognitive, and dialectal treatments, and those are only a few available options. But what about BDSM therapy for trauma?

Trauma therapy typically involves giving power back to the survivor. Some, like Leah Peterson, have turned to BDSM for healing. In her article, An Inside View of a Dom Putting Down the Crop and Learning to Submit, she wrote, “Outsiders view the (Dom/Sub) relationship as cruel and touch only used to inflict pain. But the Sub is in control and lays out exactly what they will allow.”

She claims that past trauma can be “rewritten,” giving power back to trauma victims instead of acts performed against their will. Submission is a choice, and the Sub gets to decide whom they will submit to and precisely what they will allow.

Leah also admits that because of trauma, she used to “cut herself” to get the “morphine-like” endorphin rush, but now she can elicit the rush without hurting herself or doing drugs.

A writer known only as pinksubgeek claimed in her article, ‘Empowerment Not Exploitation’ that as a submissive, she “felt empowered in a way she never had before” and that she disagreed with feminists who claimed the kink community was exploiting women.

THE SCIENCE OF PAIN

David J. Linden, Ph.D., explained in his article, The Neurobiology of BDSM, both pleasure and pain can release dopamine into the brain, giving the same euphoric feeling. There are two different receptors in our brain that respond to a pleasurable experience. Only one responds to pain and is known as a salience detector because of its ability to release dopamine with pleasure and pain. So, there is a measurable reward component to both pleasure and pain.

THE DANGER

An ABC article titled Love Hurts, Sadomasochism’s dangers, documented the case of a 65-year-old man who was hospitalized after sustaining injuries during sex play. The message delivered by sex experts that weighed in on the matter was to avoid dangerous sex practices altogether.

Even though some sex practices may hold danger, so does playing sports. The key is to take precautions, especially when experimenting with new sexual practices.

The ABC article also described people who engaged in BDSM as incapable of loving and being loved. However, many in the BDSM communities disagreed and even went on to say that BDSM allows them to love more completely. According to them, people who practice BDSM can be loved and are capable of loving others the same as anyone else.

IS IT ABUSE?

Some people might claim BDSM is abusive, such as the study published by Amy Bonomi, a social scientist at Michigan State University, in her article, Double Crap! Abuse and Harmed Identity in 50 Shades of Grey. She assessed the film for characteristics of partner abuse by comparing them to widely accepted standards set by the CDC for emotional abuse and sexual violence.

The study seemed to show that every interaction between the characters could be classified as abuse. But those who defend BDSM would argue that 50 Shades of Grey isn’t an accurate depiction of reality and that consent was the most fundamental difference. If both parties give consent, then no harm is done.

CONSENT

The issue of consent can’t be placed into two black and white categories since people will often consent to things they don’t want to do. For consent to be considered valid, participants need to be educated on the risks and understand precisely what they are agreeing to. With proper consent, perhaps BDSM can help deal with past trauma, even empowering the person who submits.

CLOSING

If practiced with loving care and if the individuals are well educated in the risks, there is substantial evidence supporting the effectiveness of BDSM in trauma therapy. And even though people often associate submission with oppression, healing might be found in willingly giving control to a trusted Dom. The critical components to a healthy and consensual Dom/Sub relationship are communication and trust, and the ability to let go.