Disney World, polyamory, and terrible sex

Did you know I went to Disney World once? I know, it's out of character. We spent a month exploring their offerings. Yes, a month. Rented a condo and a couple cars and had their stupid fast-track wristbands so we could skip the lines. Other families were spending hours waiting for a stupid two minute train ride and we just hopped right on in front of them. That's how capitalism works. We see the same in Covid testing. Shit is stupid.

Some background: I was 19. I was living in Portland, Oregon. I had a boyfriend (we said "partner" at the time but we were teenagers so let's be real) who was a huge goth and was my primary introduction to all manner of alternative culture. His recently deceased father - 70 years old, the patriarch of construction companies, shopping malls, rental properties, a prominent head shop still in operation I'll decline to name - had bequeathed him millions of dollars. His mother, in her 50's, had divorced daddy a year prior to his death and won three million liquid and a handful of retail and residential properties in the proceedings.

It was she who financed our trip. Me, boyfriend, mom, her boyfriend, her girlfriend, and their houseboy. One month at Disney World. The trip cost over thirty thousand dollars. $30,000. Jesus fucking christ.

What came along with us was an ounce of weed, a huge bag of cocaine I dont recall the weight of, 30 hits of powerful Ecstasy and a vial of LSD. We stayed fucked the fuck up the whole goddamn trip.

Boyfriend and I HATED it. It's a fucking small world and shit. Let's compound our suffering, shall we? He came down with a case of serious bronchitis in week two of the trip. Two days in some random hospital. He was so fucking irritatingly entitled he demanded to see his chest X-rays. You know, without training, they mean nothing. It's globs of white on black. But no! He needed proof of his suffering, as if coughing up blood in the condo sink after every hit of weed wasn't enough. Holy shit spoiled. Girl, you sick! Trust a doctor!

Anyway.

Mom, her boyfriend and girlfriend were a fraught triad. Mom was mid-50s, boyfriend 30s, girlfriend 40s. Girlfriend was cheating on her husband of 20 years and had two boy kid teenagers at home. FRAUGHT. oh, the fighting.

Toss houseboy in. Ostensibly that's all he was - housekeeping, mowing, the like. Why the fuck did he come with us I'll never know. At one point the triad were fucked the fuck up again and getting jiggy in their bedroom. Mom's boyfriend came into our bedroom - me and mine and houseboy were sharing - to fetch houseboy who through discussion we'd discovered his 25-year-old heterosexual ass had never eaten pussy.

Mom's boyfriend had determined to teach houseboy how to do so. On Mom. Thing was, Mom's boyfriend was violently redheaded jealous and was setting himself up for failure.

Mom's boyfriend got so angry at the spectacle he himself had set up that he removed their bedroom window from its fitting, crawled outside, and curled up into a ball crying in the garden for hours. Houseboy had come back into our bedroom, also crying. We were rolling our asses off on two hits of that Ecstacy despite bronchitis just trying to console houseboy.

What the goddamn fuck.

So I've seen the Magic Kingdom, on huge hits of acid. I've also seen my boyfriend's mother's boyfriend curled up naked in the garden of some random Disney residential property.

Don't go to Disney World. It's dumb.