Somewhere, written into the genetic code of humans, we ALL - in some way, share an unwritten and unspoken lust for guilty pleasures, and for collecting trophies. I don't care who you are... you've got it tucked away somewhere...!
Maybe you have a hard time walking away from the slots or maybe you like "Spicy Work practitioners". Maybe you have a wee bit of a drug habit... or maybe you just like to buy a secret set of lingerie on your husband's credit card, and not mention it to him... because it isn't FOR-HIM...!
Maybe you like to collect bottle caps, or license plates, or shot glasses - phone numbers from the bar that you never plan on calling - but still like knowing you were able to score one - or a thousand...! Or maybe your interests run a little deeper than surface level. Maybe you like to collect things that most people don't talk about in public.
Maybe you slave away at a corporate, soul-sucking job that is slowly draining the life out of you, and you spend all day watching the clock until you can check out for your carefully regulated bathroom breaks that are timed down to thirty-second increments, and you utilize every-single-second, of every-single-break, spent in the bathroom stall, thumbing through a website on your phone, that you wouldn't DARE open on the shared home computer.
You've spent every available break of the last three workdays, setting up a personalized purchase with a special seller on a back-door website. You're on the edge of your workplace toilet seat with anticipation, and in the last communication from the seller, she assures you that everything will arrive to your exacting specifications... Satisfaction - Guaranteed... "Or I'll try harder for you next time...!", because we both know you will be back for more. You just can't help yourself... and I LOVE to deliver! We've both been here before, and it won't be the last time either!
You slide your shaking, clammy with excitement finger, over the smooth surface of your phone's screen... hovering over the "complete purchase" button. You send it!
For the rest of the day, you can't focus on work, your focus is the defined epitome of "phoning it in" as you just go through the generic steps to complete your day, as your mind reels in fantasy and anticipation of the "non-descript" box, that will arrive in the mail, three to five days from now. You think about the crinkly crepe paper she uses for filler, the personally branded stickers she puts on each item, and the "Thank you!" card she always included. You like it... it's cute, and not all the girls invest that level of effort.
On the third day, not the fifth - your wife calls you at work:
"Hey! A box came for you in the mail, but it isn't really marked... do you want me to open it?"
"Umm! No! Thats ok. thanks though...! Can you just leave it on my desk? It's something I've been expecting... for work!"
This isn't the first time she's received a package for you... for "work"! She's used to it by now, so the phone call doesn't raise any real alarms for you, but there is always that little "What if...?" nerve, that twitches in the pit of your stomach when she calls you at work about a delivery.
That night, you come home from work and sit down to have dinner with the family. You are abnormally anxious. The wife picks up on it and gives a curious look, but doesn't say anything. It's not that you don't enjoy dinner with the family... you DO! On most days, it's the favorite part of your day... but today - there's a box on your desk... waiting for you, and it arrived on the third day... not the fifth!
"She's such a good girl! She tries so hard to please me!" - You say silently to yourself...! But you do a quick look around the dinner table to check for reactions - to be sure it was - silently... to yourself!
With an anxious, deep breath, you excuse yourself from the dinner table.
"I have some extra work to do. I don't really want to leave it for tomorrow. Im going to spend some time in the office. I'll be back before the kids head off to bed."
You kiss your wife lovingly on the forehead and close the office door behind you. The leather chair squeeks as you relax into it. You take the Tungsten letter opener in your hand and chuckle a little to yourself as you remember it was a holiday gift from the office, for your "dedication and hard work", when YOU know, you spend most of the day arranging orders of a personal affect and conversing with women online who are not your wife. But, hey... you've been investing dedication into something... just not your soul-sucking job!
"Thanks for the letter opener though...!" - you say out loud with a sneer on your face. Sliding the letter opener under the tape and down the seam, you smell the first hints of the tell-tail fragrance from within. The first hints upon opening the box, are her signature perfume. You know she sprays a little on her cards.
Tearing slowly through the branded stickers and unwrapping the brightly colored tissue paper, you see the first signs... Packed air tight, you break the seal and lay hands on it for the first time. Peacock Blue. You asked for that color specifically, and you know she had to make a special trip to get it; and some kind of fabric that feels like liquid between your fingertips... What is it...? Who cares! It feels amazing!
You stroke your cheek with the fabric and thats where you find what you're really after... always the same, and yet somehow always different. That's why you keep going back... Sometimes you just cant help going back for more of a favorite...!
About the Creator
Who we truly are is found between the lines of script, painted into the greys, beyond shades of black and white. Truth is always more captivating than the lie... and the world we create within ourselves is just as real as anything outward.