Burlesque to Boudoir: Reclaiming My Body. Part 6

Continued from Part 5

August 2018

Photo Shoot

It was around the time of the final performance, the show photographer, John Lombardi, offered to do production photos at his studio. He had a fantastic reputation in the community for professionalism and from my previous posts, quality.

I was nervous going in to meet with him. We hadn't worked together one-on-one before. We remained professional.

He would take a few pictures, suggest a head turn or an arm position, then show me the results. He let me pick the ones I liked.

I didn't know John well. I knew he was from the east coast, and had been doing photography for some time. He also loved cycling.

As far as I know, I was the last person who did a private shoot with him in his studio on 8/4/2018.

John Lombardi died shortly after the last show I was in in August 2018. He was a professional, kind, generous man who loved sharing his talent with the Twin Cities burlesque community. Though I did not know him well personally, I was lucky enough to work with him on the opportunities I did. I will treasure these pictures for the rest of my life.

...

Late August/ Early September 2018

The Invitation

This is my favorite time of year: The Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I have been a long time patron / playtron. I dress up, shop, see shows, but I don't work there. I volunteer a couple times each season, but I don't make a full season commitment to it.

When out and about in the lanes of the village, I socialize, I make friends. There have been times when I have been hanging out with a friend who was hawking beer and the pub manager offered me a job hawking for him the following year. I told him I could never work at festival; this is my play time.

Famous last words. How do you make a god laugh? Make plans.

FLASHBACK...

One of my favorite places to stop each season is the Riddle Booth. The Riddle Masters of Hollow Hill are brilliant, clever, and funny. I always make a point to stop.

Seriously, for years...

When this photo was taken, I didn't even know the names of the characters/actors.

Over the years, I have loved coming to the Riddle Booth to listen to and solve riddles. I had even brought them riddles and was given the honor of having some of the ones I brought added to their books.

Back to present, September 2018. I go to hear some riddles. Out of the booth step Jacqueline The Tree Spirit and Bertram The Troll. They recognize me as one of their longtime patrons who has brought riddles, solved riddles, and generally, a good audience member. They tell me that they are losing some of their members to retirement and are looking for new riddlers and because of the previous reasons, would I like to audition for them.

It took everything in me right then and there not to cry. I said it before, I thought I would NEVER work at the Renaissance Festival. If there was a place to work, this would be it. I was shocked and honored just to be asked and recognized.

We talked for a little bit. They let me know what I should do costume-wise: be something "a little mythical or mystical." At first I said I had wings. That was immediately shut down, and for good reasons: the booth is small, and wings get in the way. My second thought was clear and easy: I'm going to be a faun/deer hybrid. There have been fauns on cast in the past, but I didn't want to be exactly like that.

Thomas Cook sitting next to me auditioned too.

I got a couple costume pieces to go with one of my costumes: antlers, and some fur for my ankles. Pieces that could be easily added or subtracted to my normal look.

The following weekend, I sat in their booth for a while and read from their books of riddles. I already knew many of them and their clues. I listened, I took their directions, I observed, I soaked it all in. When the time was over, they pulled me aside: I had an invitation to join their troop for 2019. They wanted me to be in their cast.

The 2019 Minnesota Renaissance Festival season was a long ways away, but my life in performing was going to change.

...

Two More Burlesque Shows

Late September 2018

I answered a Facebook post for a burlesque show looking for acts that fit a color/rainbow theme. Perfect chance to do my 'Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' bit.

It was a fun show to do. Met some new people. Ran into some people I had met before in the cast...no one came to the show for me. I made $4 in tips.

It's not about the money. It's not about being known. The lack of support is what hurts.

July 2019

I answered another Facebook post for a burlesque show. It had been 10 months since my last burlesque performance. I was nervous.

I did what I always do. I showed up early and ready to go. I was professional, kind, polite. I mingled with the audience.

I cross-promoted the show with another performer: MidnightWaterFairy on our Facebook pages.

I made the show the best I could possibly make it for myself and the audience. If I had known this was the last time I would perform burlesque with that body, I would have imprinted every memory. I would have savored every second. That moment was fleeting. Those moments are gone.

A few weeks after this performance, I started my rookie season at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival.

A 10 days after the season ended, I found out I was a BRCA1 gene carrier, meaning the likelihood of getting breast and/or reproductive cancers was extremely high in my lifetime. My breasts had to go. I would have a total hysterectomy. And then the world got COVID-19.

I scheduled two final burlesque performance/appearances March 2020, but in state-wide shutdowns, those were cancelled.

My double mastectomy surgery was scheduled for April 1, and as an ironic joke, that was canceled too. That didn't get done until July 15, 2020. But that is its own painful saga. My body was left in scars.

...

2020-TWO

Here we are on the precipice of a new year. I am fully recovered from nine surgeries over the last year and a half. There is a good chance I will not perform burlesque again. I don't have big breasts anymore. My stomach has a jagged scar from hip bone to hip bone. I didn't get to keep my original belly button. I don't have nipples or aereolas anymore.

This doesn't mean I haven't embraced my new body. It was a long, painful road to get there, but I got there.

...Something's coming.

...

...In Part 7