I fell into the electric buzz of a stranger pre-coital embrace for the seventh time this week. There really is nothing that could compare to the affection of a stranger while at the peak of a manic roller-coaster. She was beautiful and kind to me for the time being. I could already imagine her lips on mine as her fingers run through my hair, dark in contrast to the hay color of hers. She left her boyfriend for me amidst a mushroom induced haze, something I would have to thank her for I suppose.
I fell onto the bed of a stranger again, his lips pressed into my thigh as each finger tip sent it's own message straight to my brain screaming lust. This would be his first time, and my god knows, you'd never know it if he didn't tell you, his hands are steady and trained, his endurance beyond approach. His basement became my favorite landscape, a wonderland for breaking the rules, for enjoying ourselves three nights a week.
I splashed into the warm, bubbling Jacuzzi, with another stranger, the chlorine stinging my eyes, but he paid in advance so I smile. His hands sweep the hair from my neck as he lights up my nervous system with his teeth. There is something so magical to me about a stranger's embrace, the touch of a person you have yet to trust. The unwavering thrust of not caring. The feeling of not worrying beyond the night.
I fell for a stranger again, that's always how it's always been, I see someone so magnificent I must keep them near. He is kind and smart, he ensures I am taken care of from 600 miles away, he spends eons comforting me. He truly seems to care about learning every aspect of by personality.
I got bored of a girlfriend today, she seems bland, and uneventful. I crave the passion of yesteryears, filled with the exploration of warm hands, and nights filled to the brim with conversation. She spends her time playing video games, unimproved, and uninspired.
I left her for a stranger, the electric pang in my skeleton and they gracefully set their hands on an expedition of the curvatures in my frame. We match in so grand a number of things, the differences fall to the wayside. Maybe just for tonight, they can hold my soul in theirs as our bodies learn to accept one another.
I drink in a stranger for the last night, he is tall and beautiful, feminine and capable, he lacks experience, but it does not matter, I can take the reins this time, a hurricane of emotion, a ebbing motion of desire. He gave me nights I could never forget, awoke in me a stability I did not see. He awoke something in me, be simply being, and continues to awaken me as time unfolds.
I found myself alone again today, I seek a stranger to fill the hole in myself I never learned to mend. Reaching out I instead find a friend, who loves me undying. I open a door we had secured shut, and fall into his arms as his gentle embrace sends distantly familiar rays of ecstasy down my spine. I had missed the storm of convulsions as I find myself reeling in his sheets. It doesn't need to be a stranger, just someone new, another notch in the belt.
I spent years learning myself through others, never quite cementing who I was without them, but unwilling to find out. I will fall into someone's bed again, I can feel it, waiting to pounce on my now peaceful life.