You Don’t Know Jack

The kettle whistles in the kitchen

The fire is crackling down the hall

No matter how warm, it is his mission

To chill the mood with his frosty balls

He’s gathering up his ammunition

Someone’s about to take the fall

Winter’s waiting outside the window

No need in praying for the thaw

There’s a new villain on the scene

He’s bound to make you pay the cost

The door blows open fast and mean

And standing frigid is ol’ Jack Frost

His cold hard stare you must resist

He’ll have you frozen fast with fear

Once he puts you on his list

There is no hiding anywhere

He’ll reel you in with his icy stare

Sending shivers down your spine

Though you know you should beware

He’ll leave you numb and feeling fine

Bundle up tight put on some layers

Get your mittens and a scarf

Jacks a mean warm weather hater

He’ll snuff out your fire and break your hearth

Heed my warning now, listen closely

It’s not a wives tale to ignore

He’ll chill the champagne and make a toast

And leave you frozen on the floor

So baton down the hatches

Store up the firewood just in case

Stock up your supply of matches

Keep the windchill off your face

The days of jolly little snowman

Has disappeared without a trace

Jack is here and he means business

Shake off the chill make no mistake

Say your prayers and beg forgiveness

Jack’s leaving winter in his wake