I'm currently parked along the road, literally waiting for the earth to swallow me whole. A few minutes ago, at Total Petrol Station, my navy blue work dress did that thing.
There I am at Total, catwalking to the boot to pick up that water that is put somewhere in front near the engine to wash the front window of the car. I open the boot. I bend a little to look for the fuel tank. I'm in white heels and my legs are all shiny so you know I'm looking good from the back. I find the fuel tank BUT because I'm near a market selling potatoes, I continue bending for a few more seconds because behind me is a good-looking man in a white V8. I tell myself "Let man witness my childbearing hips in 3D"
Then suddenly, a demonic wind just blows past me without warning. Before I can gather sense, my blue dress is resting safely on top of my head. The good news is that I had smeared enough lotion, even in areas where the sun does not shine. Even more good news, I am dressed in my good underwear. Not the parachutes I wear five days a month, no...not those. I'm wearing the ones that say ' I'm a good Christian girl who will make you call your mother in soprano'. The ones that 'Mama Ndungu' picked for me. There is no need to ask about petticoats because I was one of those who collapsed that business.
So now, I can hear hooting behind me. Why are the people hooting? They are hooting because I have realized the blue dress is on top of my head. I am fighting to pull it back down. The wind is like naaaaah, the dress is staying up. There is a matatu driver on the other lane shouting in Kiswahili " madamu unatuzuia" ( madam, you are blocking the way). The white V8 is still there, behind me, and my dress is everywhere except resting below my knees.
After what seems like an eternity, I have left the petrol station, leaving behind a whole bunch of people dying of laughter. Just when I was about to capture for myself, a V8 riding man...village witches struck again. Ah, no weapon formed against me shall prosper!
Also, dear V8 dude, I'm not crazy, I swear(licks one finger and points it to the sky).😩 Which of my village people is after me now?
About the Creator
Catherine Nyomenda
I love writing. I love the swirl of words as they tangle with human emotions. I am a flexible writer and can write almost anything, do you need any help creating content? Well then, get in touch...
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GRAVITS GRASP
I had found myself hand in hand, face to face with Catalina again. I had taken her for a hike in some cool local park. We walked around the park feeling cozy around each other letting the cool tropical breeze brush past our jovial faces. It wasn’t just me finding happiness in Catalina, she seemed to enjoy my company too. We passed by local couples who had also visited this beautiful park. Some sat making stories and laughing while others played around chasing after each other like kids which was just adorable.
By Catherine Nyomenda3 months ago in Fiction
Comments (4)
Omggggg I would have literally dropped down and died 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That was so freaking embarrassing but sooooooo hilarious as well!
Apparently, no matter how good the panties, they still were laughing. Never mind, they will always remember the lovely view after the laughter dies down. Better than V8 is on the way. Very amusing and funny story C. 😅
Thank goodness for it happening on the day you were wearing your good underwear. Dignity intact! This was fun to read!
This is hilarious! I love the idea of letting him witness your childbearing hips in 3D. =D