Waking Up

Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Again, in through the nose and out through the mouth. The very first moments after cryo-sleep can be a frightening experience. This being Flight Lieutenant Marcus Winters’ fourth deep space mission, waking up had become almost pleasant.

The haze of long term sleep began to fade and even before opening his eyes Marcus started mentally running through a checklist of responsibilities. First thing he would do is check the navigation computer and make sure they were still on route. Sometimes the computer would adjust its calculations and make minor coarse corrections cutting years of travel time.

It had always astounded Marcus to see how far they had travelled. Such terrible distances not only through space but in time as well. Between deep breaths he thought about the people he had last seen on Earth. Mostly he thought about the last woman he’d slept with before the mission. Her name was Cheryl and she was young and beautiful with eyes as deep as space itself.

In his mind that had only been a few months ago but in realty over forty years had passed. Cheryl was just out of University and on her way to becoming a bio-engineer when she was kind enough to give an old man a night of her time and affection.

They met at a bar in Hoboken, NJ called DC’s tavern, one that Marcus frequented while waiting for his next deep space assignment. The place was nestled on the lower level of an apartment complex that hadn’t existed on his previous stint on earth between his second and third missions. Of course that was nearly a hundred years prior so it wasn’t a surprise.

After returning from his first mission Marcus could not believe how much places had changed while he was away. Places that had once been home were foreign and unrecognizable. Even the way people spoke had changed and he found it difficult at times to understand what someone was talking about. After his second mission Marcus tried not to think about it too much and simply found new places to hang his hat and have a drink and DC’s had been the latest of these places. One night Cheryl came in with her friends. Marcus showed up at DC’s that night wearing his flight uniform. Lucky for him Cheryl was one of those girls who couldn’t resist a man in uniform, even if that man was over two hundred years her senior. She walked over to the bar and parked herself a few feet from Marcus stealing a few glances at him before ordering two beers. She slid one over.

“Hi, my name is Cheryl,” she said with a smirk. Her friends began to cheer her on and her face turned a lighter shade of red.

“Hello Cheryl, my name is Marcus. Appreciate the drink” he picked up the beer and raised the glass towards her friends who carried on their jeering.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never bought a guy a drink before. You must think I’m some weird random girl,” her face reddened even more.

“No, no please, have a seat,” Marcus pulled out a bar stool and she sat down. He adjusted his own stool pulling it closer to her, close enough to smell her perfume. It made him blush a bit. He had forgotten how good a woman could smell, especially one so young. A woman with the rest of her life ahead of her, terrified of the future but much, much more hopeful than anything else. That raw emotion radiated from her personality much like her perfume and Marcus smiled trying to bring his own emotions under control.

“Is it your birthday?” Marcus asked, “If it is then happy birthday.”

“What? No it’s not my…” she began to laugh and placed her hand on his forearm. “It’s not my birthday. I got a job. Well, more like an internship since I’m not actually getting paid yet but I would be learning so much! It’s pretty much a big deal, to me at least. You probably don’t care.”

“If it’s a big deal to you then it’s a big deal, congratulations.” Marcus raised his glass to her and she responded with her own.

They talked for the rest of the night. She spoke first about her work and studies. Marcus was smart enough to follow but bio-engineering wasn’t his best subject. Then she talked about her parents and her younger brother who was a pain in the ass but she loved him anyway. He told her a little about his own life and his work but mostly let her talk. Eventually all her friends went home and so did everyone else in the bar. It was a clear warm evening late in May and they decided to walk to the nearby piers.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been talking the whole time haven’t I? You must be tired of listening to me prattle on,” she said looking down at the floor. Her hand came up brushing strands of dark brown hair from her face and she gave Marcus a smile, deep and honest.

“Actually, I’ve really enjoyed listening to you. Up there,” he pointed up at the night sky illuminated by the moon and stars, “up there it’s just quiet and still, which is funny because actually everything is constantly moving unbelievably fast crashing into each other. But we can’t see it, we can’t hear it. I guess it’s comforting to hear about your life, that things are actually moving forward even though I can’t see it.”

Cheryl looked up at him, her smile fading a bit and Marcus thought he had said something wrong. Then he understood what she was thinking. Cheryl was an intelligent woman and most likely came to the same conclusion Marcus had come to nearly two centuries ago after his first mission. That he was no longer a part of this world and that when he leaves on his next assignment he was leaving this version of earth for good. By the time he returned Cheryl would have lived her whole life and died. She would have become a bio-engineer and worked for that big company. She would have met someone, married him and had children. She would have seen her children grow up and one day while Marcus was in space looking no older than he did at that moment she would die.

Marcus looked into her eyes and saw a small sadness form just beneath her hopes and place itself with her fears. He caressed her face and pulled her in for a kiss and she kissed him back, deep and honest. They never made it to the piers. Her apartment was two blocks the other way.

Marcus thought about Cheryl one last time before opening his eyes. He hoped she was having a good life, that she was happy. Then the lights flashed and he blinked repeatedly trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. The top of his cryo tube began to open and alarms went off throughout the Cryo chamber. Moans and exaggerated yawns quickly followed as the rest of the crew stirred from their hibernation. Some tried to walk on shaky legs stumbling like new born calves while others sat up in their tubes still half asleep. Marcus remained on his back a little while longer before sitting up.