Venus

Venus: The Roman goddess of beauty and love; that was most certainly you. Venus. It was you, from the beginning. It is you, now. It will be you, forever. It was you right from the minute your soft, delicate hand so charmingly caressed my shoulder, when your hair (which smelt of fresh spring berries) flew back and there, your eyes met mine. How your eyes enlarged when you gave that soul destroying smile, and time as we knew it seemed to freeze. I noticed those crystal blue eyes gazing into my soul and I observed how the different shades of blue so beautifully blended as one. The look you gave was almost as pure as the ocean and I, was being taken with the tide. How does one possess so much power, that simply a look has you on your knees? It was then, though you were not mine, Venus, I was yours.

How did such beauty come before me? That late September afternoon, was it not 1pm the specific moment in which I saw the most mysterious, yet intriguing face in front of me? Your face, Venus. All it took was that deep, calm, soft “Hi”, for a brief moment, I couldn’t speak back, though I managed to give a small “hi” in return. Oh, how I longed to comprehend your thoughts, to know if you would dream of me. From that day forward, my mind remained occupied, if only you knew how little everything else mattered.

All winter long, I admired you. When we were together, I felt alive, for it had been too long that I had felt no such purpose. In fact, for too long, it felt like everything slowed down, like time would be non-existent anymore. I couldn’t see anyone, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t scream. It had my thoughts wondering; why is it that someone like me, someone who has good friends, a social life and a loving family is sat here completely confused as to why she feels like sometimes her life isn’t even worth living? I went through a time where my mind would drag me into the deepest, darkest hole imaginable, where I was forced to face my demons, not that I could. I crumbled. I found myself speechless, stuck in a loop of sadness and evil thoughts. How does one get themselves out of that hole? The catch is you don’t, you are there forever. Some days you fight hard enough that your demons are weak, these are your good days. Some days you can’t find the energy to fight and your demons over power you, these are your bad days. If you’re lucky, you can keep fighting every day and you are fortunate enough to live a good life. If you’re too far deep inside the hole, you lose. For you, it is just an inevitable ending of doom, it’s just a waiting game. I was worried for some time that I was in too deep. Until you. I fought harder and challenged my demons, for you. The odds were in our favour, the universe had sweet plans for us.

All winter, below the stars, we sat and thought about the ideal world, the adventures we would take together. You watched the cold winter rays of sun pierce my skin as it lay to sleep, there you kissed me for the first time. You kissed me and when your sweet cherry lips touched mine, it was an explosion of vibrant colours, plucking at every heart string. She is the meaning of true beauty. No one else existed, we were beautifully and utterly alone for what felt like forever. I so desperately longed to hear those three words, tell me. Tell me now how you intensely and entirely love me, how all this time you dreamt of me, in your dreams you were mine and I was yours. How you would lay awake in the depth of the night and scream out my name, how only in your imagination would I be so real and true. Tell me how you had to force yourself to keep your distance, that you yearned to feel my touch upon your body.