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Unanimous Unicorns

Because JBaz and Dana made me do it!

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published 2 months ago 4 min read
10

Rory, a charcoal grey unicorn, banged his gavel upon the desk before him. “Order please.” He called. “As Head of the Unicorn Council, I have summoned all of you because the humans have discovered our existence,” Rory explained with an indignant snort. Seated at the head of the table, he uncomfortably surveyed the gathered individuals with his pale eyes.

 

“That’s impossible.” Erebus, the midnight black mare, dismissed.

 

“I mean, nothing is truly impossible.” Chromia whinnied as she flung her long rainbow braid over her shoulder.

 

“I have proof,” Rory added. Then, with a click of finality on the laptop beside him, the projector screen behind him was illuminated. It revealed the content on his laptop - a web browser to a creative writing website. The large letters at the top of the screen read Top Story.

“See?” He asked as he scrolled down the page to show them various colourful stories by endless authors.

 

“What exactly are we looking at?” Erebus asked, she scanned the screen with a furrowed brow in confusion.

 

“The humans call this Vocal. It’s a place they use to publish stories that are created by them. Here look, this is a story by some Cathy woman called My Shiny Unicorn.” He clinks on it and the other unicorns narrow their eyes in concentration, each read the poem displayed on the screen.

 

“This is just a poem.” Erebus dismissed with a snort of disdain.

 

“This is literally about a shitty unicorn.” Deuce laughed with an amused smile while he swatted a stray fly away.

 

“But doesn’t it bother you how accurate this is about unicorns from your realm?” Rory asked with concern.

 

“It’s a lucky guess.” Deuce dismissed with a grimace of disbelief as he swatted at the fly again.

 

“But what sane human would think of a unicorn covered in shit unless they’d seen it? Or knew of the realm?” Rory countered with a look of distress.

 

“It’s just one story.” Erebus dismissed again with a shake of her head.

 

“But this isn’t the only one. There are dozens more, and just as accurate about other realms.” Rory explained as he showed them a few more. “All these are thanks to two humans that this community call JBaz and some Dana guy.” He explained with a disgruntled sigh.

 

“I don’t get it,” Chromia stated with a look of sad confusion.

 

“All these stories say ‘JBaz and Dana made me do it’. So I can’t prove it, but somehow these two have found us out and are exposing us by having all their friends write stories about us,” Rory explained with a look of desperation in his pale eyes.

 

“Or they are just a bunch of crazed authors having fun with their friends on a regular human website.” Erebus offered as her dark eyes bore into Rory with disbelief.

 

“I mean… they got his realm right.” Chromia countered with a thoughtful look at Deuce.

 

A tense silence filled the air of the meeting hall, but the entrance slammed open and interrupted it with a loud bang.

 

“What’s going on Caballos?” Dawn, a white mare with a silver mane, strode in and flicked her sunglasses to the top of her head.

 

“Where have you been?” Rory scolded with a scowl.

 

“I had some business to take care of.” She replied as she plunked down in her chair beside Erebus. She then pulled out her purse and began to wipe her hooves with wet wipes.

 

“Why are you covered in jam?” Chromia asked with a curious tilt of her head.

 

“It’s not jam,” Erebus stated with a hesitant sniff of her friend’s hooves.

“What did you do?” Rory asked with a fear-filled look.

 

Dawn finished cleaning her hooves and looked up at the projector screen. Her jaw dropped. “Why is Vocal on the screen?” She asked in utter shock.

 

“You know what this is?” Rory asked in surprise.

 

“Yuh-huh. I just eliminated a couple of problems that were about to expose our kind using that website,” Dawn explained with a flustered look.

 

“What do you mean, eliminated?” Chromia asked, her auburn eyes bulging in fear.

 

“You killed them?” Rory asked in frozen disbelief.

 

“Well, I guess that saves us a vote. We have officially reached a unanimous decision, and we are adjourning this meeting.” Erebus stated and got out of her chair with a cheery smile.

 

The others watched Rory for confirmation, and all he could do was nod in agreement.

 

“Ugh. I can’t believe I came all this way for nothing.” Dawn scowled and followed her friends out of the meeting hall.

 

Which left a stunned Rory alone to clean up his laptop and belongings.

 

 

 

A Note From The Author:

Firstly, I would like to apologize to Dana and JBaz for their untimely deaths due to unicorn-related injuries. But I would also like to thank them for putting on this unofficial non-challenge challenge as I had a lot of fun writing this piece.

Secondly, I would like to thank Ms. Cathy Homes for being such a good sport and allowing me to reference her poem in my story.

I hope you all enjoyed this piece.

 

Thanks for reading,

Donna Fox (HKB)

Short StoryMysteryHumorHorror
10

About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for your support and feedback! 💚💙💜

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Comments (9)

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  • Thavien Yliaster2 months ago

    Me: *sees this challenge* Also Me: *Heavy breathing*

  • Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha however much you think I laughed reading this, multiply that by 10 billion!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Some Cathy woman! Jbaz some Dana guy! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also, Deuce hahahahahahahahahahaha, the smelly shitty unicorn with flies hovering omggggg hahahahahahahahahahha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love Dawn, I wanna be her hehehehehhee! I loved the name Chromia! It was beautiful! Unlike Chlamydia. Sounds beautiful but ain't beautiful, lol. I should name a character that. But I digress, lol! Your story was so creative and hilarious! Like this is EVERYTHING!! You made my day! 🥰🥰🥰

  • Caroline Craven2 months ago

    Ha! Great story Donna!

  • Dana Crandell2 months ago

    Oh, thank you, Donna, for that untimely end! Since Jason spilled the beans about our true identities, there's no need for me to tell you that Dawn is in for a bit of a surprise. Nevertheless, your story was a fitting finale, even if it did put us in a bit of a jam. Well done, H! See you on the next page! P.S. “What’s going on Caballos?” was a perfect touch!

  • Alexander McEvoy2 months ago

    This was really fun, Donna! I love the idea of a unicorn, with hooves, using a laptop. The magical realism/absurdity of them having purses and laptops really tickles me. I wasn't expected the departure of Dana and JBAZ, the poor guys, probably never even saw it coming. Luckily I don't believe in unicorns so... I'm safe right?... right? Totally safe...

  • JBaz2 months ago

    What a perfect finale to a fun ride on the backs of Unicorns and rainbow slides. And Cathy's accurate portrayal was a must to add. Donna you out did yourself and 'no', I do not take offence of the early demise of two such loveable characters. Because, what many do not know is that Dana and I are secretly Phoenix's and we shall arise from the ashes. Thank you Donna for making my day

  • Mark Gagnon2 months ago

    And that's the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say.

  • Cathy holmes2 months ago

    Haha. Well that's the end of unicorn takes for me. Can't take a chance on being stomped or impaled by a spear-headed shit horse. Lol. This is great. Fantastic job.

  • Andrea Corwin 2 months ago

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 Good job!! Loved it.

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