The Window

With her hands in a sink of warm, soapy water and a pile of dirty dishes, Frida gazed out the window into the night sky. This was her time. This was the time where the line distinguishing reality and dream seemed to blur.

Frida dreamt of exploring far away lands. She had dreams of spending her days brushing vibrant colours onto canvas. Of living in a grand castle with abundant gardens. There were dreams of exciting celebrations with lively music and home cooked meals. Frida envisioned saving the world. She saw herself sunbathing in a lush meadow by day, and dancing around the fire by night. Ah, to live in such a fantasy world she thought.

Before now, Frida had been content with the ordinary. In such a fast-paced life with so many needing her, there was no time to daydream. But as she stood before the window that night, time seemed to stand still. Washing dishes with her gaze upon the window became her time to escape to another world. Her time to tend to the spark she felt within. These daydreams, they felt familiar from another time. They provoked a memory of when she was a brave and curious young girl. When there were no more dishes to wash, she felt a wave of sorrow. How many years had passed that she had forgotten to dream?

When she spoke of her dreams, The Others were quick to discourage such wild imagination. There were always many reasons why her fantasies were not within reach. The world was not kind to a young woman so naive. She was not pretty nor talented enough. She would need to marry a rich man or win the lottery. She should just accept that this is the way life is and live a simple life or she will find out the hard way just how cruel the world could be.

Frida felt so small. She felt like she had lost a battle, her insides bruised and beaten. It was silly and childish of her to have such a vivid imagination. For some time, she let dreams simply be dreams, segregated from reality.

But every now and then, while washing those dishes and looking into the darkness, Frida’s mind would flood with visions and intense sensations of restlessness would well up in her body.

She knew that the world had so much to offer and she could live an ordinary life no longer!

So, Frida decided that she would find the love of her life to help her fulfill her wildest dreams. She searched high and low. There were many men who were seemingly perfect and promised to take care of her but something was not quite right. When the passion dwindled, she would feel some kind of emptiness fill her heart. She knew, as eager as she was, that deep down she could not spend the rest of her life happily with any of them.

Defeated, Frida brought her search to a close and she resumed her ordinary life. Weeks went by and then one day, it happened. She met someone, he was everything she ever desired and more. The connection was instant. Magic was the only explanation for the deep feelings they had for each other. Frida felt as if her fantasy had come; her prayers had been answered! This was it. Now she could finally live! Blissful months passed by.

Frida’s love was a peacekeeper. She absolutely adored his bravery. However, she also despaired at the thought of him being called back to battle any day. One morning, he broke the news. She knew this was what soldiers do but it still hurt tremendously. While he was away, she wrote many letters; she missed him tremendously. He wrote back periodically, but with his absence, Frida was lovesick and terribly lonely. She waited and waited. Her dreams had come to a halt.

Time went on and Frida began to feel hopelessly lost without her love. She felt the magic was lost. Perhaps The Others were right, she was destined to live a simple life. Frida would attempt to fit in with The Others, but she felt like a stranger. The more she tried to fit in, the stranger she felt. Frida grew increasingly frustrated the more she tried to resist her dreams.

Frida had not grown any larger, however she felt she had somehow outgrown. She felt like she could no longer fit into the world she had been put into. During a moment of clarity, she knew she had to escape, but how? How could a single, young and naive, not pretty or talented enough woman escape the tower that imprisoned her?

That night as she slept, Frida had a dream. It was dreadfully dark. Frida was running in all directions, hopelessly lost. She was cold and terrified. There was no escape. She collapsed to the ground totally broken, tears streaming down her face, shaking and afraid. When her tears had dried, she sat silently with her head buried in her thighs. She heard a “hoo-”. Startled, she looked up and saw a great barn owl. He stood tall and proud, looking in her direction. His eyes told her that he had an important message for her. She crept toward the owl. As she crawled closer, the owl lunged from his perch and flew into the darkness. She followed, no path in sight, just trusting that she would be okay.

Frida woke up. In that moment, she knew that the only way out was to just go. No direction appeared right; but she felt a tug in her gut when something was wrong. Frida would need to be her own guide on this journey. If she waited on the approval of The Others or the hand of her love, she may as well wait a lifetime. As afraid as she was to venture on her own, Frida’s heart called for her. At the end of the day, she needed herself. When Frida mustered up every ounce of courage and faith she had, she grabbed a hold of her light and disappeared into the darkness. She did not know where she was going, but she knew if she stayed here any longer she would inevitably suffocate.

Frida has encountered many mountains and valleys while on her journey. There are days where she feels completely lost and she desperately searches for direction. Other days the path seems to light up before her eyes. Mistakes have been made but the lessons come easier. Good or bad, each day she comes closer to home. Dreams became her reality when she stopped waiting and took the steps to trust herself. She still ventures today and she swears that the adventure never truly comes to an end. It’s unclear as to who will be with her and where she will settle, but she is now at peace with not knowing, for she has found herself.