The Trapdoor
8th March, Story #68/366
I stand here, on the trapdoor. Every detail alive and sparking. The feel of hemp on my neck, the shade of the sky. I suck in breath after cold breath. How sweet that is! How many more? Fifty? Thirty? Less?
Fear quickens it. Some part of me seems in a hurry to get as many breaths in as possible. All the ones I should have in my lifetime, in this little slice of time I have left. My heart is doing the same trick.
I could weep for the beauty of the chill dawn air on my skin. So many mornings I whiled away under the blankets when I could have had this.
My last moments spent kicking myself for a fool, then. Wasted on cheap wishes. Is it always this way?
If only...
What wouldn't I have given, what wouldn't I have paid, for more?
Someone shouts, "Stop!"
My head snaps (ha) round and I see them. Waving a piece of paper. The moment freezes all around me. Is this real? Hands remove the noose, walk me off the trapdoor. They have to hold me up because my bones have turned to jelly. Every part of me, inside and out, sags, quivers, liquefies. Disbelief. Relief. Maybe I'm already dying, and this is a fantasy concocted by my brain to protect me from reality. Or I'm already dead. How do we even know, when the time comes?
I'm led away still bound, and find myself in an official looking room, an expensive looking person across the shiny wooden desk eyeing me.
He tells me what I'd need to do, for more sweet lungfuls of chilly mornings, rich with blackbirds and patchwork skies. I find out what I'm not willing to give. After all, there's a chance I'm already dead, anyway.
He raises an eyebrow at me, arrogant in his certainty I'll cave to his demands to save my skin. Sure in his belief everyone is like himself, perhaps.
In that moment I feel only peace. Maybe, when I am stood on the trapdoor again I'll feel pants-wetting fear and terrible desperation... that instinctual longing for more of those precious breaths. I can only hope it'll be too late to be cowardly.
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Word count (excluding note): 366
Submitted on 8th March at 22.40
*Quick Author's Note*
First, and most importantly: thank you for reading!
Leave me a link to your own latest story, if I haven't already seen it!
If you enjoyed this story, the best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another. I wrote another (super quick) story about hanging here. Cheery stuff!
A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes a 68 day streak. You can find all of them in my Index post.
Thank you
Thank you again! I do my best to reciprocate all reads.
PS. Every time I revisit this to respond to comments, this theme sing gets stuck in my head. Now it will be stuck in yours, too. You're welcome.
Comments (17)
Oh my, this is quite a ride, very well executed, if you'll pardon me. Twice.
Felt like I was holding my breath whilst reading this. So good.
This is horrific and yet, makes me feel optimistic. I don't want people to cave to intimidation but I do like people who have the courage of their convictions.
Oh wow, that was sooooo intense and suspenseful! Loved your story!
Your picture has Bob Ross vibes
"Mama, life had just begun, and now I've gone and thrown it all away". Sorry I got Bohemian Rhapsody vibes until he got a 'better deal?' Very suspenseful.
End of breath or end of hope? 'Tis deathly good to have the courage of one's convictions.
A lot of tension in this one, I felt it the entire way through.
Oh… how many more breaths… draws the reader right in. Great story!
One of your best, L.C.!!! Agree with Lamar...
Beautifully disturbing. I quickly got a sense of despair with the description of hemp on the neck. Great storytelling!!!
Nice! Good work! Thank you!😊💕
Wow. This is so much better than An incident at Owl Creek. Great story telling!
That was such a beautifully written opening :) And I thought the pic looked like lungs too!
Fascinating piece LC! You do an excellent job diving into the psyche of your characters!
Well done!!!
This was an enthralling micro! The trap door and noose elements, the vivid scenery, the attention to breath, and the mysterious rejected bargain! All of it is really excellent!