The Shutdown

The voices were loud – harsh whispers of frantic panic drilling ragged holes into Avery’s thoughts – but her footsteps were louder. The heavy click of her ugly, leather school-shoes on the glossy tiled floor echoed all around her, bouncing off the walls of her skull like a game of Pong.

Everything was heightened. Each breath she took felt shorter than the last and, every door she passed, the voices seemed to grow louder. How could anyone stay calm when all they could hear was the panic – the fear – in the voices in every room. Everyone on that floor of the hospital was in some realm of hysterics and she didn’t blame them.

Avery’s legs felt weak. The floor had become an invisible wire that she was struggling to balance on. She slipped off the wire, catching the wall by an abandoned cleaner’s cart and sliding down to the cold floor. She promised Hadley she’d stay strong. This is not staying strong. If she had any air left in her, she would have screamed. In anger, in frustration, in fear. She hated the Shutdown – she hated the High Order. She hated everything about that stupid day.

She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand how the High Order was okay with what they were doing. She didn’t understand why they didn’t have enough power – why did they need to save it all at once? She didn’t understand why the hospitals weren’t allowed to keep their power. Shut down the rest of the city, not the hospitals! She didn’t understand how the High Order was okay with their horrific game of natural selection.

But she understood, then, why people would always say she was lucky when she complained about the monthly blackouts. Because she wasn’t dying, and her life-support wasn’t about to be shut down for 24 hours straight. Avery hated the High Order. Avery hated the Shutdown.

Somehow it was worse that she wasn’t dying. She would gladly be the one dying rather than to sit around, unable to help when the only thing keeping her girlfriend alive ceased to do just that.

The wall was cold against her back, the sickly smell of sanitiser stung her eyes, and the painful chant of the people in the next room practising CPR invaded her ears. She found comfort in her hands and let herself drown in the sounds of vibrating chaos both in the hospital and in her.

“Scared, aren’t you?”

Avery lifted her head and, through blurred vision, focused enough to see a young man around her age kneeling beside her.

“My father is a nurse here. I’ve had to sit through about seven hospital Shutdowns. I’ve seen it all and it never gets easier.”

She noticed a training badge pinned to his shirt, printed with the name Teo.

Avery knew she looked anything but approachable in that moment. Her hair was wet with sweat and sticking to her red face. Her eyes were surely bloodshot, and her nose was leaking like a faucet thanks to the hiccupping sobs that shook her. She must have looked a mess.

Teo didn’t seem to mind. He leant against the wall, moving to sit down beside her.

“Who are you here for?”

Avery sucked in a shaky breath, leaning her head back and staring at the wall opposite them. “My girlfriend.” Her voice was far more hoarse than she expected. “Hadley.”

“Is she on life-support?”

She nodded. “Car accident. Killed both her parents. She has no one but me… and I can’t keep her alive alone.”

“I’m so sorry. That must be really hard on you. Did you apply for Nurses’ Assist?”

Avery bit back on the sharp venom of anger that threatened to jump out at him. The venom that wanted to shout of course I have! Instead she sighed. “I was too late. They’re all booked up already.”

“My mother fell at the hands of the Shutdown too. But… I was only young, I don’t remember much. I couldn’t imagine having to keep someone I love alive like that. You are so brave.”

The watery blur in her eyes returned almost instantly and an ugly cry lodged in her throat.

This is definitely not staying strong.

Avery could feel Teo’s eyes on her. It didn’t feel like judgement, but it felt like something.

“Come with me.”

There were no solid thoughts left in her head other than the overwhelming need to keep Hadley alive and there was less than an hour before the Shutdown, so she went.

The strange boy led her down the halls, a twisty maze that left her spinning, and into an area, locked and marked Restricted. His key clicked in the door and it creaked open. A light flicked on, illuminating a room full of lies.

Backup generators. Hundreds. Enough to power the entire hospital. All of them inactive.

“What… what is this?”

“Backup generators. Illegal to the public. Only ever used in case a member of the High Order’s life is in danger.”

The venom behind her words escaped through her eyes as yet another wave of hot tears. “So they can live but we can’t?!”

Teo didn’t have an answer though it was plainly obvious. Instead he handed her a small hand-cranked generator.

“We’ll take turns,” He gestured for her to leave the room. “Keeping her alive.”

The heavy thud of the door closing stuck with Avery as she tracked back down the halls. It added an ominous beat to the lyrics of the panicking visitors just trying to get their loved ones through the Shutdown.

The jarring numbers of room 405 swerved into view and her heart paraglided to it’s death, attempting to escape through her throat. A mantra of don’t cry replaying in her brain, she opened the door.

Her feet carried her to Hadley’s bedside as though it were the only option. Teo followed.

Avery’s hand found Hadley’s and she held it like it was the only place she’d ever feel at home again.

“She’s pretty.” Came Teo’s whisper over her shoulder.

“Yeah…” Her teeth were pressed harshly into her lip so hard that the metallic taste of blood swam on her tongue. Her mantra failed her and the waterfall behind her eyes toppled over yet again. “She is.”

Avery wasn’t aware of much else in the time leading up to the Shutdown. She remembered seeing Teo attach the plug of Hadley’s life-support to the generator. She remembered the heart-shattering panic she felt in the two seconds silence that created. She remembered looking at Hadley and pleading with anyone who would listen that she could just see her gentle green eyes again. She remembered the countdown to the Shutdown being broadcasted over the PA system. She remembered begging that it would be over soon. She remembered knowing it wouldn’t.

Avery and Teo were sat side by side on the floor, the grainy sound of the crank filling the silence as Teo turned it steadily.

Barely ten minutes into the Shutdown, they heard the first screams. Horrified, praying screams for a life to be returned. Of course Avery felt bad. There was enough power stored in that room for everyone to survive.

Her fingers found the cold heart-shaped locket that hung around her neck – a gift from Hadley. She held it tight and released a shuddering breath.

“I don’t think the High Order is saving energy.”

Teo turned to face her, despite his lack of vision in the dark. She was glad he couldn’t see that she was still crying. “You don’t?”

“If we can survive for a day on generators and battery powered supplies, why don’t we? Because they aren’t trying to save energy. They are trying to kill people.”

Teo didn’t argue. He didn’t agree either. He just let the rattly noise of the crank do the talking.

“When this is all over… when the Shutdown is done, and I can learn how to breathe again… I say we fight.”

“We fight? Against the High Order?”

She nodded.

“What makes you think I’d fight? You just met me. I could be the bad guy.”

“That may be so… but I’m willing to take that chance. I’ve got nothing else to lose.”

A growing fire of determination contaminated Avery’s tears and an anger burnt within her.

“Let’s go to war.”