The Refriger-Raider
and the great Apple Heist
Howard strolled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Unsure of what would satisfy him, he opened a container on the top shelf.
"Ahhh, Spaghetti," and dipped his fingers into the sauce and jammed a glob into his mouth. Dissatisfied, he opened a second container with baked chicken. Sinking his teeth into the plump breast, he grimaced.
"Nope, too bland, needs salt."
On a lower shelf was a sandwich with ham, turkey, lettuce, and tomato hanging out the sides of a parmesan roll.
"That looks good."
Tearing the paper open, he crammed the end in his mouth and bit down.
"Yuck, this has mayonnaise," and spat the wad of food into the kitchen trash can and returned to his search.
"There is nothing to eat in here. This is pathetic."
In the crisp compartment, he discovered two Granny Smith apples. Howard bit into the first and then sampled the other.
"The first one is fresher," and dropped the second apple into the bin and closed the door.
A memo was taped to the door in bold print.
Please Respect others' food stored here. Stealing is stealing.
Your Human Resources Department
"Who do they think they are? Gods?"
About the Creator
J. S. Wade
Since reading Tolkien in Middle school, I have been fascinated with creating, reading, and hearing art through story’s and music. I am a perpetual student of writing and life.
J. S. Wade owns all work contained here.
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Comments (25)
J.S.... This was fabulous!! At first I thought it was a kid going through his parents refrigerator and was appalled that he kept sampling the food then putting it back. But I laughed out loud at the end when you revealed that this was in a work place!!! 🤣 For some reason the scenes that I had previously thought were gross were freaking hilarious now!!! Such a great job burying the lead and creating a humorous story! Loved it!! If I could heart it twice or even three times!! I would!!!! 💜💖💕
Howard is the reason I work at home. Great micro heist, Scott!
Absolutely brilliant! Reading about this Heist made my day. He's eating habits are deeply concerning. LOL! When I worked at a warehouse a long time ago we had a break room where employees would store their food for their lunch break. Problems would always arise because of food and missing. Maybe it was, nevermind... What is it? You don't think it was Howard, do you? 🤣🤣🤣 I thoroughly enjoyed this read. Please write a part two.
Haha, what a douche, pardon the expression. Well, I take back that pardon. What a douche. I would set up a camera to catch him then swiftly fire him and deduct the theft from his last paycheck, lol. Sorry, but this kind of heist boils the blood. 😅
Great stuff - loved this take!
LOL! This was great; I've never had my lunch stolen before, but if it had to be stolen, I would want it to be done by this guy 😅 Awesome work, my friend!
LOL! 😂 Very Clever!
Although this was humourous and a great take on the challenge....I've had the misfortune of dealing with a few of these types in offices where I've worked.....they're infuriating! Well done, I really enjoyed this. :)
🤬🤬🤬 Lunch thieves are the butthole of humanity. Someone needs to make a toenail clipping sandwich for that jerk lol
🤣 I think we have all had the unfortunate experience of going to the staff fridge and finding our snack was pilfered! I enjoyed this lighthearted, humorous story!
Oh my gosh, this person would drive me crazy!
What sane person hates mayonnaise???? And that led me to think that Howard could be a dog. Then I remembered he dipped his fingers into the spaghetti sauce. The apples confirmed even further that Howard ain't a dog but a psychopath because he hates mayonnaise. Then I reached the end and burst out laughing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, well, well, Looks like Howard's taste buds are on a never ending quest for perfection, leaving a trail of rejected food in his wake! Can someone get this man a cooking show or a personal chef? 😄
Hahaha, this is fantastic!
Ah, tis a crime most foul! 🤣 This one was great.
Ah Fellow "BOOMERANGER" who doesn't have a 'Fridge' like that anyway - the cut around it - It'll be fine theory. Jay
Thankfully, I have not encountered this particular individual--at least not to my knowledge. Then again, I tend to be pretty oblivious to things & may have just gone ahead & eaten without noticing. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The answer used to be "finding half a worm in your apple." Now, however, I'm thinking it might be this guy, lol.
This dude’s out here ruining the good name of Howards everywhere! This was great! Got a genuine laugh out of me. Great work and take on the prompt.
It was funny
This is great, and Howard needs payback. Please write part 2 and show me his comeuppance. 😂
Wonderful!!! Brilliant take on thw heist!!!♥️♥️💕
😆😆😆 The ever-popular Howard! Weird fact, A very unpopular roommate in my novel is named Howard. He behaves much like this and worse. To get rid of him the protagonists ether him into a sleep, cover him in theatrical crepe hair and sneak him into a very public glass cabinet with a bowl of water and some carrots. It works!
Someone needs to set a trap for Howard! 😩. Laxatives in the coffee creamer or something… 🫣
Great twist on this!
They need Hawthorne there! And Howard sounds like Greed personified!