The Promise of Marigolds

The darkness in her spirit had been overwhelming since she had lost Joseph. She had loved him from the moment she had first caught sight of him. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Her love of him was deeply embedded in her heart, cemented in like concrete. Kathleen longed for the closeness of him. She wanted to breathe in the aroma of him just as she had when he had embraced her. Each time he had held her she wished she could be padlocked inside of his arms forever. He had never verbally expressed his love for her, but she saw his eyes sparkle at every glance directed towards her. His eyes merged into her own upon contact. Now, he was gone. She would never know if what she had perceived in his eyes matched what was in his soul. She had lost him to another woman. He had not been faithful. He was marrying another and this woman was pregnant with his child. Kathleen's heart was shattered into a million pieces. Her spirit was broken. She could not understand his unfaithfulness. They had been together for over a year. Joseph had never given her any explanation. She had been left with no closure or understanding of what went wrong. It was like someone had died that you had unresolved issues with making it difficult to lay them to rest. Kathleen felt this way in regard to Joseph. Everything was left incomplete.

She had come to this place to gain back her peace of mind, if that was even possible. This was a beautiful place to rest and attempt to regain some control over herself. Her brain was constantly filled with thoughts of Joseph. She needed to find some way to let that go. This ranch in Montana was far away from California and the Kathleen and Joseph that once was. It was peaceful here, with velvety green fields everywhere filled with lively flowers. She opened her mouth sucking in a deep breath of air through her mouth and out through her nose. The aroma of fresh unpolluted air was heavenly! She walked out into the open and spun around to get a 360 degree view. The flowers were signalling an invitation and she longed to take a horseback ride out into the fields painted so delightfully with those dots of oranges, reds, golds, and yellows. Tomorrow she assured herself she would look into renting a horse for the day.

Kathleen could not relax enough to fall asleep. Every time she dozed off she would see Joseph's face. The passion of her love for him would flood her mind. She grabbed her robe and went out onto the porch. She sat down in the rocker. The back and forth swaying of a rocker always had a calming effect on her. Forward and back, forward and back she rocked. You could hear the coyotes howling in the distance. This did not bother Kathleen she was used to the sound. There were many coyotes in the sprawling hills of Los Angeles. Small pets would often go missing victims of the predator. The stars were twinkling brightly. They were hidden by the abundance of lights in Los Angeles but out here they were clearly visible. She had been unaware that the stars were so prolific in the night sky. Kathleen drifted off but the chill of night startled her and she went inside. Fatigue overtook her and she fell asleep.

Kathleen woke and hurriedly dressed. She was off at once to the stable to find her horse mate for the day. She spotted a splendid "bay" horse she found be be quite agreeable. She was looking forward to cantering through the green meadows and thought perhaps she would make her way to the picturesque flower fields. The sky was intensely blue and free of the tall buildings of obstruction of Los Angeles. Kathleen could see the mountain off in the distance still iced with snow. How magnificent she thought! It reminds me of a great big cone with scoops of vanilla ice cream on top. Thoughts of sharing licks of ice cream with Joseph intruded her solitude. Kathleen cleared her head by focusing on the spectacular scenery in front of her.

Close to the flower field was a watering hole with a post to secure her hoofed companion. She did not want to ruin the flowers by trotting her horse through their luscious blanket of vivid tones. She wanted to run through them. She wanted to be immersed in this painted veil of flowers soaking her skin with pigment. Kathleen wanted to become one with these blooms. She put her arms up and started through them. She did Not run. Kathleen strolled this Garden of Eden like a mighty umbrella covering them in her shade as she passed. She was enveloped by their tints. The wild daisies dressed in pinks and blues and the marigolds in their brillant garmets of reds, oranges, golds and yellows. The sun appeared to be painting these marigolds with it's own tint as it shone down upon them. Marigolds, after all are the "herb of the sun." In gratitude the marigolds lit the field on fire with the passion of their hues. Kathleen could feel their energy and their force of positivity emanating from the blossoms.

Kathleen lay down in the middle of the flowers like a snow angel covered in their fragrance. She was half asleep as the sun's specular reflection covered her. With her eyes half opened she envisioned a figure in front of her. She thought she was dreaming so she closed her eyes then opened them. He was still there. Joseph was standing above her. His hands were holding a bouquet of red, yellow, orange and gold marigolds. He spoke without speaking but she was distinctly receiving the message that he was communicating.

"Kathleen, I should have explained. I made a big mistake. I had to take responsibility for the life that was coming into the world because of my error. The only right thing to do was to marry her. I care for her, but it is you that I hold the dearest to my heart. You are my one true love. I did not mean to hurt you. I am sorry. I am told that I have cancer. My time on earth is very short. I make you a Promise bound by these marigolds that I will be back. When you are ready to leave this earth I shall come for you and lead you home with me. We are bound together even if we are not physically together. You have never left my thoughts in spite of being with another. "

Kathleen murmured, " I Love You." She sunk back into her sleepy repose. She awoke to the trickle of raindrops. I must be getting back before we get caught in a storm. She pleasantly thought of Joseph. She suspected that she had imagined the scene but looking down there on her chest lay the bouquet of red, yellow, orange, and gold marigolds. This wild bunch of marigold flowers was the proof of his promise. He would be back.

Kathleen walked back to the "bay" smiling and holding her flowers in bridal bouquet position. She took out a marigold and braided it into the horses mane. Mounting she squeezed her legs clucking to him.

"Come on Joseph, time to get back to the stable."