The hitchhikers package

“Anne!”

Said Kurt as he burst through the door.

“Anne, honey are you home?”

“Kurt?” Said Anne, confused as she emerged from the terrace.

“Kurt, honey what is it?”

“Anne, I’ve got one hellava story to tell you” said Kurt as he gasped for air.

“What the hell have you got yourself into this time, Kurt?” Said Anne as she took off her gardening gloves and wiped her forehead.

“No! Everything is fine. Just a very strange encounter on my way home from work.” said Kurt.

“Ok, go on.” said Anne with a slight tone of intrigue in her voice.

“So, as you know, Steven’s truck is in the shop with a busted alternator, so he’s carpooling with me.” said Kurt.

“Yes I remember you mentioning that.

What does that have to do with the story?” said Anne, impatient with Kurt’s gab.

“Now now I’m gettin there” said Kurt as he began

“we’re on our way home and we see and man on the side of the road. So we stop and ask him if he’s headed into town.

We figure the least we can do is give a man a lift into town on a hot day.”

“You picked up a hitchhiker?”

said Anne.

“Well, yes” said Kurt, knowing Anne would grill him for his absentminded decision.

“I had Steven with me so we figured worst comes to worst it’s two against one.”

“Ok, so what then?” said Anne.

“We pulled over and asked where he was headed and he told us he was headed downtown past Main Street.” said Kurt.

“In the same direction as Steven’s house, yes?” Said Anne, now following Kurt’s rambling story.

“Right” said Kurt

“So we tell him to hop in the front so he can cool off in front of the a/c. Steven didn’t mind taking the backseat.

Besides, the man looks as if he’s already put more than a few miles under his heels.

He was holding brown paper box,

and he was holding it tight.”

“I don’t like where this is going” said Anne, now worried that Kurt has gotten himself into some trouble of sorts.

“Well, at first I didn’t pay it any mind,

I even tried to break the ice by jokingly asking him what was in the box” said Kurt.

“And..” said Anne eagerly.

“He flat out told me that it was none of my business” said Kurt with a straight face.

“He did?” Said Anne confused.

“Yes. So we rode in awkward silence for a few miles when Steven said ‘it’s not a human hand or nothin right, haha’ as another attempt to lower the tension.” Said Kurt.

“And what did he say to Steven?” Said Anne.

“The same thing he old me, he said it was none of his business and to stop asking about his box.” Said Kurt.

“Ok, so then what. Did you pull over and let him out?” Said Anne?

“Well I believe in a mans right to privacy,

but he’s riding in my truck and my interest has been peaked, so I pry a little more aggressively” said Kurt

“I told him that he’s in my truck and if he’s got something that could land me in some hot water he better speak up”.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you fought him over his box, Kurt!” Said Anne as she palmed her faces

“No, now listen here, this man is in my truck and I want to know what he’s brought with him” said Kurt.

“Ok, so what next?” Said Anne.

“He looks me dead in my eyes and says it’s none of my fu*king business” said Kurt as Anne’s jaw dropped.

“So I pulled the truck over and walked over to the passenger side. By this time Steven is exiting the vehicle as I approach the passenger door.”

“Oh my god!” Said Anne.

“I opened his door and told him to get out now” said Kurt.

“And did he?” Said Anne.

“He did but not before snagging the top flap of his box on the seatbelt,

And as he stumbled down the side step of my truck onto the shoulder of the highway, he fumbled the box and it’s contents flew onto the grass off to the side!”

“No way!” Said Anne, now very interested in the resolution of this story.

“Yes! I couldn’t believe it and neither could Steven.” Said Kurt as he simmered down in his recliner.

“So..!?” Said Anne, awaiting the big reveal.

“What was in the brown paper box?”

“NONE OF YOU’RE BUSINESS!” Said Kurt as he burst into laughter.

“I’m never believing a word you say, you as$.” Said Anne, as she realizes Kurt has weaved an elaborate joke, once again.