The Existential Woman page 7

When Shanna opened her eyes after a deep thorough sleep through the night, she was uncomfortably warm. She saw and heard that the air conditioning unit in the bedroom window was still on and blowing, yet she thought she might be sweating. She sat up and saw that two thick comforter blankets were on her twin bed in a messy pile. "I guess I should have made the beds yesterday," she murmured to herself. She looked around the room and saw Selia sitting on the top of her boombox which was set on the small wooden side table between her bed and Norman's bed. Norman was already up, gone. Shanna wondered what time it was.

She lazily sighed and stood up and walked to the bathroom to relieve herself. She noticed there were only a few rolls of toilet paper left. She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or gripe about that. Toilet paper seemed a topic of humor and frustration. Always worried about running out of toilet paper. The horror! The horrible thought of taking a dump and not having any paper to wipe off with. The horror! It had happened to her on several occasions, and although she had been fortunate to find some kind of substitute, that horrific situation still plagued her mind with worry. She sighed a heavy frustrated sigh thinking about all the places to get toilet paper, all the variations of brands, and all the prices. "No wonder the French were into bidets. I bet they never had to worry about toilet paper."

She noticed that Selia had been in the bathtub because there was black cat hair on the white tub. She noticed paw prints on the side of the tub where Selia had obviously walked. She noticed that the shower curtain, just a cheap clear liner, had begun to rip at some of the hook holes, and was starting to look grimey from having hung too long.

After she was done looking at the bathroom, she went to start a pot of coffee. As the coffee was brewing, she emptied the fecal matter in Selia's litter box. By the kitchen door, the small trash bin was filled to the rim with garbage. She tied the plastic strings together, lifted the bag out of the bin, and took it outside to the outside bins. The air was uncomfortably humid, thick, and too hot for her liking. She needed a pick-me-up quickly before her mood turned sour.

She went back into the condo, got herself a cup of coffee, sat in front of the laptop and looked for some music. She found a cute bee-boppy dance song, put the volume up to the highest level, and felt the rhythm. Soon she was dancing all around the living room floor. Her smile had returned and she felt satisfied. "Thanks!" she told the musician as if he could hear her.

After her little dance, she decided to go to Walmart to get some things. She drove patiently along with the traffic being careful not to speed or break any road rules. She parked in a spot that allowed her to drive off without backing up. She'd park far away for a spot like that. She didn't like backing up in a parking lot. She had too many blind spots with the van and it made her nervous.

She grabbed one of the smaller shopping carts that were out in the lot, and she rolled into the store. She tried to remember all the things that she had written on a list, although she did not have the list with her. First she went to check on computer paper. There were three stacks. The most expensive was $10. The least expensive was $5 or so the price sign read. She put the $5 stack into the cart. Then she went to look for Sprite, which Norman had given her some cash to get for him. There were only two types of Sprite boxes - Classic Original or Zero. "He said diet," she recalled questioning the Zero label. She shrugged and put the Zero box in the cart.

"Is this lane open?" Shanna asked the cashier at register number 8. The cashier did not respond. Shanna moved the cart a little closer and tried again a little louder, "Is this lane open?" Still no response. Was the cashier deaf or purposely ignoring Shanna? Shanna tried not to get upset. She gulped a huge gulp of air trying to control her breathing. She moved the cart even closer and said a bit louder trying not to yell or be too rude. "IS THIS LANE OPEN?" Finally, the cashier looked at Shanna and answered with a yes. Shanna put the two items up for ringing and was surprised that the total came to $15.

"How much was the paper?" Shanna asked.

The cashier looked, and replied, "$6.94."

"The sign had a lower price," Shanna remarked. The cashier didn't say anything about it. Shanna made the payment with her debit card.

"I don't like these kinds of surprises. Price surprises are not fun. Not like a good juicy kiss from a hot guy. Sadly, I don't get those kind of surprises, but I get disappointing price surprises all the time." The cashier still didn't say anything. Shanna took her reciept and pushed her cart back to her van.

Wehn Shanna got back to the condo and put the paper stack on top of the computer printer and the Sprite in the refrigerator, she realized that she hadn't even thought about the toilet paper. She sighed another frustrated sigh thinking to herself, "I wonder what that would have made my total? $25? Then all my critics could berate me again for how terrible I am with money." She didn't feel like dancing again so she sipped her cold coffee and lit another cigarette. Then she surfed to a Facebook Poker game and played cards online for the next half hour.