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The Day Paradise Shattered

For Mackenzie’s Ekphrastic Challenge

By Poppy Published 4 months ago 3 min read
Top Story - January 2024
29
Photo by Suze Kay

Society has a way of alienating those it should hold close. If someone is different, they are pushed to their breaking point.

But Ma fled before they could.

I never figured out what made them hate her. Was it her inability to make small talk? Her refusal to play pretend? Or the way she wore a raw realness like a suit of armour?

Ma made sure they’d never get to do the same to me. She hid me away here, on our island.

Ma was the prettiest person I'd ever seen. She was beautiful when she was helping me catch fish, turning it into a game and laughing. Ma was beautiful when we cooked over a flame, hair glowing in the firelight. When we lay beneath the stars, making up stories and breathing in the night air like it was salvation. But Ma looked best at her potter wheel, hands on clay, clothes stained, concentration narrowing her eyes, and a faint smile tugging at her lips. Ma was prettiest when she was happy, and here, that was all the time.

She tried to teach me. Showed me designs, wet the clay, held my hands as we moulded it, grinned at my impatience while waiting for it to dry. Ma taught me gentleness, showed me how to smooth the edges. She explained how to use her precious kiln she’d gotten years ago when I was just a future growing in her stomach. Her glaze was running out, but she let me use it. Then she gave me one of her hugs, the ones where love and safety sunk into my skin.

But no matter how much I practiced, how much glaze I wasted, or how many deep breaths I took, my creations never turned out like Ma's. And still, she used them, gazed at them, loved them, but not like I admired hers. Every plate, bowl, mug, every item she moulded was a part of her. Once, she only had yellow and blue glaze. I used to think of the yellow covered pottery as her happiness, and the blue as her kindness.

Her favourite were vases. They lined the window sills, crowded our table, filled space everywhere, covered in different designs that reminded me of her. Beautiful in an understated kind of way.

They were always filled with wildflowers. We picked them all around the island, replacing the wilting with fresh ones.

Ma and I lived alone together, and we were happy. Until the boat came.

It was the third day of Summer. I was collecting shells when I saw it. It didn't belong here. The birds called to each other restlessly, the kind of songs my Mother and I occasionally whistled to each other in warning, always meaning one thing. Danger. And though, this time it was the birds humming, I couldn't help feeling the meaning vibrate in my bones, shaking me.

I ran home, told Ma, watched her face pale in an unfamiliar way. She closed the doors, drew the drapes, told me the past always catches you eventually. I frowned, said we could outrun anything. Ma was indestructible.

The days grew longer, hotter. Ma became paler, quieter.

The flowers wilted. Ma threw them out but, did not replace them. The vases stayed empty, once a haven, now a carcass.

I was restless, begging to go outside. Ma said no. I'd never known her to be like that. Fear was a foreign emotion. Like the boat and whoever came on it, it didn't belong here.

Finally, Ma let me go out, told me not to venture far, to come back soon. But I was young, tired of the heat, and I missed the cool caress of the ocean. But mostly, I didn't know danger like the kind that arrived on that boat.

I was almost home when I heard the call. High-pitched, loud and unmistakable. I knew it was her because of the fear jolting through me. A terror I had never felt before.

I ran, instincts driving me. Towards her - my indestructible hero. My safety.

When I reached the house, it was suffocatingly, claustrophobically quiet.

I saw the blood first, a smear, almost unnoticeable on the window sill. But that wasn't what made everything stop. My body, my heart, my world.

It was the vases. Broken. Shattered.

And in that moment I knew, Ma and I couldn't outrun everything. The past had caught her. Ma wasn't indestructible. She was human and this... this was my breaking point.

❀❀❀❀❀

Check out my vocal bestie's challenge:

And check out another of my vocal bestie's work, whose photo inspired this story:

Microfictionfamily
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About the Creator

Poppy

‘Wasted Love' available to purchase here in paperback and eBook format.

Find me on:

Instagram. Facebook. Tiktok. Pinterest. Twitter. Medium. Patreon.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (28)

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  • Angie the Archivist 📚🪶3 months ago

    Congrats on getting First Place for Mackenzie’s challenge… well deserved 🤩

  • sleepy drafts4 months ago

    This was so beautifully written, oh my goodness! 💗

  • Mother Combs4 months ago

    💙

  • Alexander McEvoy4 months ago

    Ho-ly cr-ap!! This was amazing Poppy!!! It was addicting and beautiful and terrible! I could feel the love and security of that hug as though Ma’s arms were wrapped around my own shoulders, pouring into my soul. On a reread, there was a sense of dread that I think came through beautifully in the glaze. The glaze ran low as their time in safe seclusion grew short. Fantastic work!

  • Leslie Writes4 months ago

    Incredible. I’m wondering what she did. Mob informant? Whistleblower? Congrats on TS 🙂

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Fantastic!!! Congratulations on Top Story!@@💕❤️❤️

  • So deserving of Top Story! Well done!

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Wow. The emotion in this is incredible. From free-spirited happiness to terror in a blink. Wonderful piece. Congrats on the TS.

  • Natasha Collazo4 months ago

    I ached reading this 👏

  • Rachel Deeming4 months ago

    Brutal. So well done.

  • Suze Kay4 months ago

    Woohoo top story! 🍾🥳

  • Mackenzie Davis4 months ago

    Wowowowowowow. There is so much left unsaid here, Poppy, and it’s more than I could have realized on a first read. Your stories are always something unique; this one is no exception. It’s compelling in a very specific way, that of a deep understanding of society’s unfixable flaws and the importance of the human spirit, in all of its forms. I adore the metaphor of the vases, the wildflowers, and the glaze. The vases being parts of her, the wildflowers being an ephemeral element always cycling…but seriously, the glaze is my favorite part, acting as a timer for the inevitable, a finite protection for Ma’s sacrificial love. That is fantastic metaphor work. I’m particularly interested in what Ma had done to warrant such a violent end. And was she kidnapped or killed? Both? I can see the narrator going on a revenge trip after this. Finding all the cases broken is clearly indicative of Ma’s broken spirit and perhaps body too, yet we don’t find her anywhere at that moment; enough is unsaid for me to be very curious. And I don’t need answers but it is certainly a satisfying unsatisfactory ending, if that makes sense. A story of life, and life holds no neat endings or complete knowledge. Bravo, VB. This is absolutely brilliant. 👏👏👏💜

  • Chloe Gilholy4 months ago

    I loved this, it was so real and I loved how Ma was shown to be strong but also fragile like the vase. The image is also beautiful.

  • Gerard DiLeo4 months ago

    Fragility and strength, at the mercy of others. Well done.

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Lana V Lynx4 months ago

    Oh, my, this is so powerful. I could clearly visualize this story and my heart broke with the child’s. Great response to the challenge!

  • Lamar Wiggins4 months ago

    Great entry, Poppy. You quickly created a sense of who the characters are. And you also took us through some real emotions that made me want to jump into the story to help them.

  • I really want to know what happens after the breaking point. I want to know what they were running from. The next chapter of this sounds like it would be bloody and violent and oh so good.

  • This was soooo tragic! It made me so emotional! Ma was human after all 🥺🥺🥺

  • Shirley Belk4 months ago

    Poppy, this is one of my favorites! It gave me the feel of "Where the Crawdads Sings" And that story reminds me of "To Kill a Mockingbird." You have THAT much talent in you. This story proves it.

  • Suze Kay4 months ago

    POPPY I've been waiting for this!!! Oh my gosh you took my simple image and twisted it into something heartwrenching and so different and so worth reading. It's such a gorgeous story - I felt transported, and in some ways it changed how I look at the photo that I took lol! Thank you for gifting this photo a story like this. Thank you for breathing pathos into clay. And never have I ever been so honored to be called a Bestie <3 love ya

  • Harbor Benassa4 months ago

    Great job establishing the vases as a symbol of her mother. Awesome entry!

  • Compelling story, powerfully told, Poppy.

  • D.K. Shepard4 months ago

    Compelling characters and setting! Incorporated the inspiration of the photo so well! Fantastic job of building the tension!

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