The Bellagio

Everything rattled as I drove. The car was completely empty of organization. Books stacked on top of dirty mugs, wrinkled slacks underneath mud stained shoes. Trashed peered through every crevice. Loose tobacco was woven into the floorboard carpet. A box of sundries bounced in my view of the back window. The dash was sticky and evil but I was leaving. I was headed away from home. The sun was dimming. I counted all my cash at a red light just outside of town. 1445 bucks in my mostly 10's and 20's.

“I’m doomed,” I said.

I was getting older with no job and no plans for a future. And worse, curiosity was no longer a member of my self obsessed collaboration to live. But I had drink, books and a little money. There was a chance to restart, maybe, or at least fable my way to a half decent way of living. But how could I fund such a change? Vegas. I'll go to Vegas and lie and gamble and eat and drink! The drive would be long and would take two days but I would make it in one. I drove straight through the night. I sang to myself and smoked spliffs. My upper body danced and I drank coffee. I daydreamed about what I would look like in Las Vegas.

“I would be the coolest looking schmuck there” I yelled out loud. “Everybody's gonna wanna know me, I'll be big in Vegas! I’ll gamble and deny women and drink free drinks while people cheer my name.

It was early morning by now, headed stiff south. I wanted to look out the window at my surroundings. I bet it looked nice but I knew I wouldn't appreciate it. I was somewhere in Idaho.

“I'll live in every moment after this trip. After I win I’ll move to a nice town that is full of people I've never met. I’ll live right. Everyone will see me happy and healthy.”

I only stopped for gas or coffee. I filled gallons of piss in various water bottles and coffee cups. The sun was really coming up now and I was getting close. The desert looked good to me in the early stoned morning. It was just as dry and desolate as me. It looked like it wanted to die. It cared only enough to have one road in or out. When I could see Vegas in the distance I pulled over to gather myself. I was sure people would care about the way I looked when I got there. I wore all white with a grey blazer. I half ass shaved to look younger.

“I'm screwed!" I yelled to the tumbleweeds. I rolled myself a massive spliff, heavy on the tobacco, threw back a couple of beers and smoked. I heard a car boiling it's way towards me. I put the remaining smoke into a cup of piss, finished my beer, stepped into the car and caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror. Looking back was a sunken tired face with hardly a spec of hope. The real alarm were the piercing eyes looking straight into my own. They were bloody and bright. They were two loud green lights. Heavy and swollen. I opened another beer and pulled off the dirt back to the road.

I arrived in Vegas at around 7 am.

“I’ve been driving for 17 hours” I said sweetly to the front desk woman. She was old and tussled with bigger hands than mine. “Is there any way I could check in early? I really need some shut eye before I start winning all this money ”

“I’m sorry sir, check in time is at 11 am” Her voice really didn't fit her face.

“I know there's an empty room somewhere in this place. It looked like there were at least 1000 windows outside when I pulled up!”

“The best I can do is 9am, sir” She said but only because she could tell I was getting close to a meltdown which she did not deserve and did not want, though she had full control of whether or not it developed. All she had to do was give me what I wanted. The power of a receptionist. The strength of a drunk. It was early and she was sweet.

“Do you have a lobby bar?” I asked. She smiled, pointed to the far east corner where I saw men stooped on stools looking grim. “Excellent”

I ran to my car to get something to write with. They had valet parking. Lots of cars were making their way in. California plates, New York, Maine, Georgia. From all over they pulled in with their crying kids, credit cars and sweaty faces. I leaned over to reach for my favorite pen which was lodged somewhere under the seat. My sleeves were too tight and crimped my arms.

“Ma’m, ma'm'' someone kept saying. It sounded like it was getting closer. With my long hair I knew they were talking to me. I turned around to a big gap tooth, pot bellied man. His calves shook with each step. His hands were so big they didn't know where to be. They washed the air clean. “Yikes, you're a man!!” I saw your bike on the back of your car and was intrigued. What kind of bike is it?” My look wasn't surprised. I had no reaction at all. I enjoyed being mistaken for a woman. Especially in moments when lots of people were around. I felt even more unseen. I told him about my mountain bike.

“You wanna see my scar? I'd ride bikes like these but my heart is no good. Waiting for a new one. It's either that or death!” Grinning, he yanked the collar of his shirt down to reveal a large scar that went all the way down his chest. “I used to be a pro hockey player, I was a beast, a monster!

“That’s real nice,'' I told him. My valet boy was looking uneasy. It was time to move on from this situation. I handed the kid my keys. He gave me a little yellow card and I walked inside. The old hockey man followed

“What brings you to Vegas anyway?" he asked trailing behind.

“I don’t really know. I'm here to be somebody else, I don't know. I need money!” I took my sunglasses off and his face got real wide.

“Look at those eyes, hey kid you've got some great eyes! Wow!” Listen here. I got money and I know how to gamble. You want me to teach you?”

“Sure, why not” I was facing the other way headed for the bar. I sat down and ordered tequila. I looked around to see my new friend crouching close to an ATM. A moment later he walked back over.

“Here's 300 bucks. I need someone to gamble with me tonight. You in? I’ll give you 10% of whatever we make. But take this 300 and do what you want with it.” I could see my smirk in his dark red lenses.

“I’m in” I said, gulping a drink.

“Good, meet me here tonight at 6. Will need a big meal.” I finished two more drinks. Ordered another, wrote the date in my notebook, looked at the clock and walked real slow to the elevator, got to my room, found the bed and passed out.

I woke up, stood for a long time, dizzy and depleted. I thought about bailing on my new friend. But it was too crazy of an offer to pass up. Everything I needed for the night was still in my pockets. I rolled a cigarette and left. I skipped the elevator and took the stairs. It was 6:45 by the time I saw him. He was wearing a neon blue dress shirt with cargo shorts and sunglasses. He had a full head of hair, grey and uncombed. Handsome like an old western film star. We ate at the bar. When we finished he took his glasses off. His left eye looked straight into the bridge of his nose, it was lazier than a fly in frozen weather! His voice deepened.

“Now listen up you little prick. You seem smart enough. You could be better but you'll have to do. I’m gonna give you 1000 dollars, cash. We're counting cards tonight.” He grabbed some paper and began writing down all the hand signals and facial expressions I’d need to know to count cards. We practiced a few times. “No, no, two fingers on my right hands means bet double the hand, one finger on my left means bet one” I was lost. We hailed a cab.

“Take us to the Bellagio” he told the driver. Outside the casino were spouts of water shooting high in the air trapped in bright yellow lights.“Alright kid, before we play I need your ID” I handed him an old expired one. “Cain, huh? That’s a good name.”

What's your name?” I asked as he passed me an envelope with money.

“Just call me Guy. Guy from Clayton, California. But look you little flitty shit you can’t be wearing that. Will stop at the gift shop and get you something better to wear. We stayed at the gift shop for hours. He bought everything he thought was half decent. The bill was almost 20,000. I just stood there in some ugly polo with the word bellagio stamped in large letters watching it unfold. We finally made it to the black jack table. I instantly forgot all the signals. He ordered a whiskey with a glass of milk.

“Thins my blood and keeps me alive!” He said. We bet. His fingers raised, arms crossed, another finger raised again and I kept missing. He was cursing the dealer, obviously directed at me. A woman walked by with a heap of hair in a bun . She looked lost until our eyes met. “Hey come have a drink with me!” I smiled. She came over and ordered a gin. I decided to give up counting cards and play with just my luck. I did alright for a few hours. I'd go up some then back down. I had 700 in chips by 6am. Guy looked at me, his eyes were more crossed than ever.

“Listen everybody should go all in on this one” he said, one eye moving towards me. I had a 7 of spades and 10 of hearts. I was going to bust. But it didn't matter, it wasn't my money. The dealer shuffled out a 4 of hearts. I won.

I took my winnings.

“Damn you got 1400 bucks!” the woman with a lot of hair said.

“It’s not mine it's his” pointing to Guy. I explained everything while Guy was snarling over at the table. He came up to us, with chips in his pockets and a half empty glass of milk.

“Let me get you a room, and how much money do you have left?”

“1,400, Guy” I said

“Good, you can take 400 or keep gambling with me, I’m winning big, baby” I was sick of him. I took the 400.

“You can come with me to the room and sleep but I’m not really looking for anything romantic” I said to the woman. We got to the room and before I could take my shoes off she was smoking something. It looked like meth. I was too drunk to care. Too weak to ask her to leave.

“Can you do that in the bathroom?” I asked

“Sure”

When I woke up my wallet was gone. Along with the winning chips. My room phone rang. It was Guy. He told me he had won 76,000.

"You dumb idiot” he laughed and hung up.

I got in my car and drove back home. I didn't like Vegas. I didn't like the desert. I would be alright.