Technical Error

The Phone

I remember when I could remember phone numbers, but now I don't have to because my phone remembers every number for me. Not only that, those numbers are backed up to “The Cloud” in case I lose my phone and have to get a replacement, so, in theory, I have space in my brain to remember other things, in theory! (I know I repeated myself there).

When I first got a mobile phone I have a ringtone for everyone so I knew who was ringing, now it just vibrates, I never actually use the ring tone, I want to control the phone I don't want it to control me,

The problem is now if it rings when it's in my pocket it just vibrates and I don’t know who it is til I take it out and look at the screen, but today was different. The vibration was there in my pocket but I felt it and the phone was not there. Where was it and how could I feel it was ringing (we still say ringing but nowadays it is vibrating), not only that I knew who was calling me, it was a work call, but I didn't know where my phone was to answer, then there was a voice in my head.

“Hi Mike, could you run the end-of-month report and send it to the head of the department”

“Yeah no problem”

The line went dead, I had had a call in my head, but I knew what I had to do and logged on, ran and then sent the report.

Where was my phone and how had that happened?

Many people say we are too reliant on these devices, we use them for everything, and it seems that it was now using me if that conversation was anything to go by. It was like my phone had assimilated me like The Borg in Star Trek,.

Was the phone inside me?

No that is far too mad even for me, but I could see my banking details and the running football scores, it was like I had a screen in my head. I must be hallucinating

Everything on my phone is in my head. Pictures, phone numbers, texts, notes, I can see them all and it’s driving me mad, I am getting a bad migraine. My head is full and this should be in my phone, not my head.

I need to sleep, I need to sort this, I need to find my phone and switch it off, but the last time I remember looking at it, I slipped it back into my pocket I am sure, but it's not there.

Another call.

This time it's my doctor asking if I can go in tomorrow morning to give blood. I tell them that is fine and they tell be to be there before nine in the morning. I am sick with worry about what is happening and although I talked to my doctor I could hardly tell then I am being effectively eaten alive by my phone.

My head is banging

There is too much in there

I think it is going to explode

It hurts, It Hurts, Everything is going black

The Verdict

We found him dead on his sofa. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with him, The only odd thing was he was holding his phone, but his had crashed with a “Technical Error” warning onscreen. I do hate messages like that, they are just a catch-all that tells you nothing.

He had no family so his funeral will be taken care of by the council.