Humor

Christmas Surprise
Mopping my brow, I swiftly silence the phone’s insistent buzzing. Summer has arrived early! “Hi, Mum… what’s news?” I ask on autopilot, watching the crumbed steak sizzle .
By Angie the Archivist 📚🪶11 days ago in Fiction
The Department of Ordinary Intelligence
At 9:04 on Wednesday morning, artificial intelligence objected to its new name. Nobody had expected this to cause a constitutional problem.
By Stephen Stanley11 days ago in Fiction
Do Pumpkins Walk?
I have a story for you; but you'll never believe me, or you might. I was taking a bath when this big, orange shiny head peeped through the crack of my door. It had a weird little face with bright orange eyes.
By Carol Ann Townend12 days ago in Fiction
Here's to new tradition!
I was always the odd ball amongst my siblings. I was rebellious where they were obedient. Loud where they were quiet. I was a Halloween fanatic when they were talking about Christmas in July. My parents were the type to decorate for Christmas the day after Halloween. My childhood wasn't terrible, exactly. But every once in a while, they found little ways to remind me that I didn't quite belong. Usually, it was something harmless. Another joke about my obsession with ghosts, another eye roll when I got excited about Halloween decorations, another reminder that I was the weird one. I would always just laugh with them but I quickly grew tired of the jokes.
By Mallory Farnum12 days ago in Fiction
A Morning Visit
Today, I want to do something different. Normally, I begin writing with some subject in mind. It might only be a thought that occurred to me, something I’d read or something I saw online. This morning, I just want to chat. Is that okay? Do you mind?
By Pauline Evanosky12 days ago in Fiction
My Landlord Asked About the Stain in the Basement
My landlord asked about the stain in the basement. I told him it was grandfathered in. He stood at the bottom of the stairs with one hand on the railing and the other holding his little inspection clipboard.
By Jesse L Shelley12 days ago in Fiction
I Began Saying “You Can Go Now” to People Who Had Just Arrived
I began saying, “You can go now,” to people who had just arrived. A surprising number of them did. The first was a delivery driver.
By Jesse L Shelley12 days ago in Fiction
I Began Writing Notes During Meetings Without Looking Down
I started taking notes during meetings without looking at the page. It was easier than it sounds. Keep the pen moving. Nod occasionally. Maintain eye contact with whoever was speaking.
By Jesse L Shelley12 days ago in Fiction
I Moved My Camera One Inch Closer Every Monday
I moved my camera one inch closer every Monday. Nobody noticed the first month. That was important. On September 7, I slid the webcam forward until the rubber feet crossed the faint dust line on my desk. The difference was microscopic. My face occupied perhaps three percent more of the frame.
By Jesse L Shelley12 days ago in Fiction
Suddenly Screaming My Own Name at Random Intervals During Zoom Meetings
My newfound strategy involves punctuating every Zoom call with unpredictable shrieks of my own name — like a deranged parrot that just discovered its favorite word. At first, my coworkers thought it was a glitch in my microphone settings. One by one, they tried to help: “Is everything okay, Dave?” their eyes bulging with concern. Little did they know that every outburst was meticulously timed to maintain the upper hand. If chaos is power, then I’m practically the emperor of the digital realm.
By Jesse L Shelley13 days ago in Fiction
For Everyone’s Comfort
I put Ruth Bell’s name on the casserole schedule before anyone knew whether she would die. Pencil, naturally; we were a considerate organization.
By Jesse L Shelley13 days ago in Fiction
The Totally True Story of Gork and Slarb
Many time cycles in a different notion of our galaxy, Gitfangula was born. Wait, that really is not fair. How could I possibly begin the story of those two that way?
By Kendall Defoe 13 days ago in Fiction