Humor
Twelve Minutes to Moscow
The Business was proving difficult as the Russian / Ukrainian conflict continued. Everyone was surprised at how well the Ukrainian military fought the Russians to a standstill and forced the mighty Russian army to flee in a panic. However, Stanley's Business suffered greatly, and he had successfully imported specialty vodka and other spirits from Eastern Europe. Sanctions had hurt the importance of the goods that came from Russia. Worse, some of his long-time clients wanted to avoid doing business with him if any goods came from Russia.
By Bruce Curle `3 years ago in Fiction
Advice from a Cactus
I was lost in the desert. I was thirsty. I just finished my last sip of water. I tried to drink the water from a cactus. “Don’t drink my flesh,” it said. “What? Am I hallucinating?” I asked. “No, I can talk. Your tired from your walk. You need to rest, my friend. Help, people will send. Sit under my shade and you’ll be made,” Cactus said. “I hope you’re right, I’m almost dead,” I said. I was about to pass out when I saw a rescue vehicle approaching. I jumped in front of it and it ran me over.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Dog Days
Sometimes I wonder while wandering around: what’s the meaning of life? Sure, as a dog its hard to ask that question. Life sure goes by quickly. So much to do, so little time. So much sights to see and scents to smell. Everytime me and my parents’ go to the park, I smile when I see their happiness while on our walks. If there’s a real answer to the meaning of life it could be this: happiness. For me, I’m just happy I can lie around, and hang with my best friends on a lazy sunday. What a life.
By Birithivy Yogaratnam3 years ago in Fiction
Them. Top Story - May 2023.
After the confrontation, Lexi had to leave the apartment to clear her head. ‘A walk around the block will do,’ she thought to herself ‘or perhaps around the globe,’ she added in despair. The gravel scraped underfoot as she strode angrily across driveway after driveway and lights flashed over her face when she walked under streetlamps. She was moving fast, fast and away from her.
By ThatWriterWoman3 years ago in Fiction
The Blue and the Grey
Grayson had just shit himself. This happens from time to time with young children who are potty training. Unfortunately for his mother the shit had erupted from his diapers and gotten into the carpet in his room. Little Grayson was crying, after all nobody wants to be walking around with crap in their pants. Mom was almost in tears too. Shit on her baby and all over the room. Young mothers have an incredible ability to multitask. It comes with the territory. She consoled and changed her crying son while simultaneously scrubbing and cleaning fecal matter out of the carpet. It was truly an incredible site to behold.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
The Right Way To Say It
Once upon a time, there was a girl called Ella. At twenty-nine years of age, perhaps girl was not the right way to say it. However, Ella refused to accept that she was now an adult forced to make her own decisions. She worked from 9 to 5 on weekdays, she paid her own rent and groceries, and she made her own irresponsible and totally unnecessary purchases every now and then (like January’s cooking books that now collected dust, waiting for her to begin her new year’s resolution). But she refused to acknowledge she was no longer a doe-eyed high school student dreaming about all the riches and fame that would someday come and were yet to arrive.
By Elizabeth Rojas3 years ago in Fiction
Tomato Revolution
The revolution started when scientists weaponized tomatoes. They brought them to life. They had mean eyes, sharp teeth and ate everything in site. We marched to the capital and threw the tomatoes at the authoritarian ruling class. They didn’t stand a chance, the tomates ate every last politician. The tomatoes came back out and shouted, “we’re still hungry.” “Everybody run,” someone shouted. But almost nobody escaped the deadly genetically engineered tomato monsters. Those of us who did had to hide. We now lived in a world ruled by evil tomatoes, and their evil leader, King Redblood Strongvine.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
Psycho in my Head
Fred was the voice living in my head. He must have wanted me dead. He would yell and scream until he got his way, I did everything he said without pay. I parachuted out of a plane and challenged people to fights, all in the middle of many a great nights. I got mad one day and hit his face, hurting mine as well. Living with Fred could be a living hell. I told him to go away and he refused. He said no, sounding amused. It looks like Fred and I have to get along. I hate being used.
By Alex H Mittelman 3 years ago in Fiction
