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Submerged

For James & Oneg's Summer Writing Challenge Extravaganza

By Ashley LimaPublished 9 months ago 1 min read
11
Submerged
Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

The Dream State Challenge: write a fantasy fiction or poem about a recent dream that you had. Whatever you remember, use as your fuel for this epic piece!

Drowning. Immersed in cool, fresh water. Rejuvenating and fresh. Blue hues rippled above as the Sun glittered against the surface. Beams of light; ethereal and proud. Bubbles formed in front of me as breaths left my lips, speechless.

If I was dying, dying was peaceful.

A mirror stood before me, as my body floated with ease in the soft current. Rocking me like a baby to a sacred lullaby. The mirror was made of gold; tri-paneled and weathered by its time on the lakebed. I was called to look at my reflection, so I swam to greet it, searching for answers to questions I did not know I had. When I reached the mirror, I did not see myself portrayed back to me.

I saw my grandmother instead, with a smile on her face. Healthy, radiant, and beautiful. She was underwater with me, but she did not seem burdened by the lack of oxygen.

Instead, she opened her mouth to speak.

She told me: Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay.

Before I succumbed to the lack of air, I woke up with a start. My heart beating fast. Struggling to catch my breath. Covered in a layer of cold sweat. Begging to be taken back to that moment when I closed my eyes again.

_____________________________

Thank you, Ian Read for tagging me in this challenge. Read Ian's Entry here:

In turn, I tag Jazzy Gonçalves and Mackenzie Davis!

Find more information on James & Oneg's Summer Writing Challenge Extravaganza here:

Microfiction
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About the Creator

Ashley Lima

I think about writing more than I write, but call myself a writer as opposed to a thinker.

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (10)

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  • Mackenzie Davis2 months ago

    Goodness, this is so visceral. I can't believe your dreams are this literary and I want you to write a poetry collection of just Ashely dreams. I'd buy it in a cinch. That image of the mirror, the oxygen, the reflections, nothing being as it should be, it all screams dream, but also poetry, and you make me want to enter this scape just as the speaker did when she woke up. Just gorgeous. I never forgot about this tag, lol. I'm planning to write something for it soon. I may break the rule of "recent," though... ;D

  • Rob Angeli8 months ago

    Wow, so suffocatingly beautiful. Hypnotizing imagery and fluid dream state, bringing up that longing to return to the beginning, to hasten to the end, the cherished loved one, and all the stuff of dreams.

  • EYHCS8 months ago

    It's such a beautiful story. I wanted to be taken back as well. Very well written and full of emotional comfort ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

  • Deeply emotive… well done Ashley ❤️🙏✨

  • Berry Driven8 months ago

    This one pulled at all of my emotions striking tears. When my grandmother passed I spoke to her in my dreams for months until I suddenly felt better. Thanks for sparking that beautiful reminder.

  • Jay Kantor8 months ago

    Dear Ms. Ashley - Always inserting a little of you in your pieces ~ Makes you our Village "Master" Creator ~ - My Pleasure - Jay 'Senior' Vocal Author

  • If I was dying, dying was peaceful. It indeed is. I don't understand why people are afraid of dying and people don't understand why I'm not. So that's fair I guess. I truly loved your story!

  • Ian Read9 months ago

    This was serene and beautiful! I love the way you weave the real and unreal together so seamlessly. Brilliant work!!

  • Mother Combs9 months ago

    Love this.

  • Mark Gagnon9 months ago

    Interesting the way you changed the act of drowning from terrifying to pleasant. Nicely done!

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