Recovery

She was in her mid forties, aged but beautiful. Tall and thin, fair skin, long brown and silver hair. Recently single. Her husband of 20 years had an affair with a Romanian coworker. He begged for her back but she decided it was time to move on; the trust was gone. She was damaged but healing and confident in her future. For the first time in her life she could focus on herself. So much of her life had been spent tending to others needs. Now was her time.

She left the home she had with her husband and bought a farm in the country. It had always been her dream to own a farm so she decided now was the time. Twenty acres filled with trees, sunny golden pastures, and moving creeks and ponds. The land was perfect. There was a small, modest house on the property with a wrap-around front porch and tons of windows that allowed the home to fill with natural light during the day. Inside the rooms were large and she filled them with her earthy, bohemian treasures. Her style was soft and comfortable. She loved cozy blankets and fire lights. Gentle wind chimes rang in the background calling to her from outside where the flowers flourished and birds were plentiful. Hummingbird feeders hung around the edge of the roof of her small house, inviting a fantastic display of hummingbird duals from Spring until late Fall. This was her place of healing. She was happily content with her quiet life alone.

She filled her days working on her farm. She had a great business plan turning her hobby farm into a working farm. She stocked her farm with miniature animals; goats, donkeys, miniature horses and cows. She used the animals’ milk to create soaps and lotions and other items and sold them in her roadside store on the property. She also had beehives and chickens, and sold the honey and eggs at her store as well. Part of the pastures were dedicated to seasonal fruits. There were apple trees, fig trees, blueberry bushes, raspberry and blackberry vines, and strawberries. Depending on the season, she gathered the fruits and placed them for sale in her store or allowed patrons to “pick your own”. She had fields of seasonal flowers that patrons could visit and “cut your own bouquet”. She also, for a small fee, allowed photographers to bring clients for photo shoots in the flower fields. She ran tours of the farm for local elementary schools where the children delighted in seeing all of the small sized animals. She taught a variety of classes at the farm like Mommy and Me seed sprouting, bouquet design, and beeswax candle making. She was an artist at heart and loved to create and build things from nature. Her store was filled with things she had created from benches made from fallen trees to garlands made from gathered and found objects in the woods. In the winter when farm life was slow she would dive into painting. Her store was filled like a gallery with water colors.

She was now into her third year of developing her farm and things were going well. She was starting to see progress and all of her hard work was really paying off. She had painstakingly researched every addition to her farm to make sure they were native species of her environment to ensure maximum success. This had been a genius idea because that allowed for things to flourish without too much fuss. She didn’t like to fuss over things. Her mentality was- give a good foundation and allow nature to do the rest. This technique has worked well so far for her.

She had developed a good daily routine and flow. Every morning she would get up and feed and water the animals, collect eggs, and gather some seasonal fruit. She would save two eggs for herself, scrambling one for breakfast and boiling the other for her salad at lunch. The rest of the eggs would be washed and go into the cooler at the store. After her morning chores, she would eat her breakfast of fresh fruit, homemade goat’s milk yogurt, a fresh scrambled egg with microgreens, and whole grain toast with her own bees’ honey. Occasionally in the winter when chores were less, she would bake her own quick breads and biscuits to sell in the store. After breakfast, it was time to milk the miniature goats and cows and stock the store with the seasonal fruit pints and eggs. After a beautiful lunch of homegrown salad greens, a boiled egg, fresh homemade dressing, and a whole grain roll with fresh churned butter, she would tend to the flower fields. Depending on the season, she may be harvesting bouquets, planting bulbs, watering, or deadheading. After she is satisfied with the fields, she may take a ride through the woods to gather fallen wood and other free bounties that nature may supply. She would then take her new treasures back to the teaching barn to be stored until needed. She had a few barn cats around to keep away the rodents and dogs to help protect the animals. She had a small vegetable garden, enough to feed herself with seasonal vegetables. Early evenings were dedicated to watering, harvesting dinner vegetables and herbs, and playing with her cats and dogs. Dinner was always simple and light, some sort of grilled or baked meat or fresh fish, caught from her pond, and garden veggies, and a fruit cobbler for dessert. She celebrated in selfcare by eating well and staying active. She had no TV, so evenings were mainly spent listening to old records, painting, or reading.

She was a creature of habit. Monday afternoons were shopping days. She would take out the old farm truck and load it full of the week’s supplies. Farm classes were designated for Wednesday afternoons, so Tuesday afternoons would be used for prep for the classes, like gathering supplies or ideas for each class. Farm tours were designated for Fridays, so Thursday afternoons were for cleaning up the farm, mowing grass, and any sprucing that needed to be done. Saturdays and Sundays were all hers. Aside from feeding and watering the animals, chores were kept to a minimum so that she could relax and recuperate, and enjoy time with friends.

She loved the farm tours. The children were always so intrigued with farm life and the small animals. The tour would begin with a tractor hayride around the property to see the fruit and flower fields. Each child would be able to pick a small bouquet to take home. After the flowers were labeled and packed nicely in a jug of water, the group would head to the animals. Here they would meet the chickens and learn about eggs and get a chance to see and feed the other miniature animals. The children loved to see the animals because they were small like them. The tour would then go into the teaching barn where each child would then get to start a seed to grow. They would take it home to start their own “farm”. Then it was time to head back to the store front where each child would get a treat of goat’s milk yogurt, fresh fruit, and honey drizzle before leaving. The tours were a great success. They had become very popular for all of the elementary schools in the county. She began booking them every Friday in April, May, September, and October. In October she would add a Halloween twist to the farm with a pumpkin patch and “haunted” hayrides.

In June, July, and August, she would open the farm up to Scout Troops to camp in the fields and fish in the ponds. This allowed them to get their camping, fishing, and cooking merit badges. This was a mostly hands off activity for her, but it kept her in touch with all of the local leaders. Occasionally a Scout would need to do an Eagle scout project and would complete a project for her on the farm, like building a bridge over the creek or setting up a wild bird feeding station. She enjoyed this because her father’s family was a very dedicated Scouting family and it was important to her to keep the tradition alive.

November and December at the farm were dedicated to gearing up for Christmas. She would spend most of her time creating garlands, dried bouquets, and wreaths for the holidays. These would be made of mostly found objects and greenery from the wooded areas on the property. Around Christmas the mistletoe balls and magnolia leaf and herb garlands were big sellers at the store. Locals also popped in to shop for Christmas gifts like the goat’s milk lotions and soaps, honey and beeswax candles, watercolor paintings, and nature inspired furniture.

At the start of every new year, she would reevaluate her life. She would take the time to think about what was working and what was not. January was a time for renewal. Whether it be on the farm or in her life. This was the time she would plan her new gardens, her new lifestyle techniques, and her new dreams. After three years of intense dedication to the farm and business and passive healing, she decided it was time to add something new.

Though she was completely content with her solo life, she felt it was time to open herself up to a companion and possibly a partner. She had been hurt before, several times, and very deeply. It was hard for her to let her guard down and trust again. She loved just as hard as she worked and had completely surrendered to her previous husband, letting him be her complete world. And he had genuinely betrayed her. She was hesitant and gun shy when it came to men, particularly good looking ones. She usually would not even give them the time of day. But, now in this time of renewal, she was willing to make an effort. She was beginning to see that the betrayal from her husband was not due to an insufficiency in her, but in him. He was a narcissist that needed and craved attention from anyone that would give it. No matter how much she gave, it would have never been enough. She was beginning to heal inside, knowing that she was enough and would be enough for the right person.

With this new romantic path opening inside herself, she began to see love all around. She no longer resented love and decided to open up the farm to weddings. She built a beautiful stage overlooking one of her favorite ponds where the wedding party could stand for the vows. She would offer flower bouquets and garlands as part of the wedding packages. There would even be an option for flower girls or boys to walk with a miniature goat on a leash down the aisle. She began having a lot of interest in her new wedding venue. Weddings began booking and unfolding beautifully. She was beaming in her new successful venture with her farm.

She had a beautiful glow from a life worth living. Until now she had been completely satisfied with her path. Her days were filled with love and creativity, with nothing in the way to mess things up. Yet she felt a small ache. Maybe something was missing. She liked being on her own, not having to check with anyone or get approval for each decision. She was busy with her farm and filled her free time with friends, but seeing these beautiful couples, so in love, made her miss what love can bring. She began to realize that she wanted to share her beautiful life with someone.

She had an eccentric friend who was always getting into something. He loved to pop in, sometimes with other friends in tow. Sometimes it ended up being an impromptu party. One night, she had gone out on errands and ran into another friend. They decided to head to dinner together. Meanwhile back at the farm, her eccentric friend had popped in, with a party of friends. This was pretty common. The farm was a great place to chill and everyone loved the open scenery and ponds. The farm was alive with music, twinkle lights, and bonfires. Friends were laughing and drinking spirits.

One particular guest was worried that she was not home and thought she would be upset about the party, so he decided to go look for her to tell her. He drove around town where he thought she might be, with no luck. Then he decided to stop to fill up with gas. As he began to pump his gas, he looked up and across the pump, there she was. Their eyes met and his face lit up with a smile. He was tall, thin, and dirty blonde, with wisps of hair flipping up around his ball cap. He was dressed in an old fleece and baggy jeans. She looked up at him and wondered why he was grinning at her. She knew who he was, but didn’t know him very well. Living in a small town, everyone knew everyone, but she was not close friends with him. He was just in town visiting family so he wasn’t around all of the time. He said to her “I finally found you”. Surprised, she gave him an awkward look. He explained that back at the farm there is a party going on and that she should come join him. She cancelled dinner plans with her other friend and headed back to the farm.

That was the night she fell in love again. She found him to be kind, generous, and fun loving, everything that her ex was not. She was not used to such safety and kindness from a man. They spent the next months visiting each other, holding hands, and watching sunsets. They never ran out of things to talk about but at the same time felt at peace with sitting quietly. Each was smitten with the other, completely and totally in love. Three months into their relationship he proposed on a crisp fall day by the pond and now they live happily ever after watching the sun go down together every day.