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Punkafunkamoraphobia: With Application Pending

Punkafunkamoraphobia [punk-ah-funk-ah-mor-ah-pho-bee-ah] noun. An extreme aversion and/or fear when seeing a person one finds attractive and losing voluntary control of every body system in a catatonic putrid sweat. Basically punks and funks you, so...you're screwed.

By The Dani WriterPublished 4 months ago Updated 4 months ago 1 min read
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Photo by Toni Cuenca on Pexels

Ninety seconds elapsed since I divulged my diagnosis to Jerome as we walked along La Seine. He hasn’t stopped laughing. He was safety. My gay 'boon-coon-man-friend'. My Alabama-confidante who left for Paris at 16 yrs. never looking back.

“Keisha, you…can’t be…fah…reeeeal!” Gasps between breaths, still mid-convulsion. “Chile, puh-leez—”

“—Please what?” Agitation filled my tone. “I had months of psychotherapy treatment for chrissake! Application for recognition was submitted to DSM-V.”

“Punkdafunkda-whahahahaaaaaaa!”

We stagger pell-mell along Port de Javel Bas toward le métro (subway), giggle-tears streaming his cheeks.

I felt a familiar tiny dark seed take root. “J, you useless!”

Cooling autumn air carried potential to guarantee me one thing.

Vindication.

Diverting to Café Brioche would deliver it.

“Let’s grab drinks and hors d’oeuvres, chicken-head.” We’d pass the park on Haute de Seine.

Jerome manages to string sentences as we reach the tennis courts, placing an arm around me, the genesis of an apology.

Putting green. Track...Ahh! Basketball courts! Les garçons like clockwork.

“Hey Maurice,” I holler, prepping my sexiest catwalk sashay. “You good?”

“Bon sang, je le suis maintenant (Damn it, I am now!)” he replies.

I feel Jerome’s arm slip away.

Motionless and edging toward sidewalk catatonia, since leaning on the chain-link while fellas sink hoops is pure deliciousness begging consumption.

But my phobia been cured.

I double-time it to Jerome with 'pretend-sad face' whispering, “Couldn’t possibly be punkafunkamoraphobia?”

And I laugh like the devil.

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels

Short StoryMicrofiction
8

About the Creator

The Dani Writer

Explores words to create worlds with poetry, nonfiction, and fiction. Writes content that permeates then revises and edits the heck out of it. Interests: Freelance, consultations, networking, rulebook-ripping. UK-based

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Comments (8)

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  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Fabulous!!! I can't even even pronounce your word!!! Wonderful word & story!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Heather Hubler4 months ago

    This was just wonderful!! I loved how the tables turned :)

  • Lol, this was so hilarious! Loved your word and story!

  • My constant state.

  • Kendall Defoe 4 months ago

    This is me.

  • E.K. Daniels4 months ago

    So much character with your dialogue. I love it!

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Haha. This is great. Start laughing at the subtitle and still going strong.

  • Real Poetic4 months ago

    Great storytelling and development of the characters relationships. “placing an arm around me, the genesis of an apology.” This line brought back the small amount of sweet memories of friendships in my teenaged year.

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