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A Wofflessgilipollas By Any Other Name… Is Still A Wofflessgilipollas

Wofflessgilipollas [wof-less-hee-lee-pohl-yas] noun. 1. A worthless dumbass or douchebag. 2. A committed fool on whom one should not waste a moment of their time. Especially useful when in polite or professional English-speaking company or of minors. Etymology: Bermudian prefix ‘woffless’ colloquial phrase for ‘worthless’ and Spanish suffix ‘gilipollas’ meaning dumbass

By The Dani WriterPublished 4 months ago Updated 4 months ago 1 min read
Runner-Up in the Neolomicro Challenge
8
Photo by Hoa Tran on Pexels

He wasn’t bad to look at if you oozed boredom like Mrs. J. Sanchez did most weekdays. As gardeners went, Joaquin’s rates were modest, $18.95/hr. He worked speedily, so his clientele throughout Altamonte Springs, Orlando flourished. Retirement villages mostly, but a few homeowners like Mrs. S with service needs, channeling their aburrimiento (boredom) into pristine gardens.

But dilemma slow-simmered in two parts:

1. Mrs. S couldn't afford to be picky since gardener availability remained scarce in her locale.

2. At 25 yrs., Joaquin was young, intransigent, and knew everything.

“Not too much water for the grass,” said Mrs S, remembering how her deceased husband used to fume about fines.

“Lo sé, Señora S,” said Joaquin.

Okay, maybe after two years he'd know that.

“Don’t bag the leaves. This morning, my neighbor asked for them to—.”

“—Sí, Señora S.”

“And the hibis—”

“—Lo sé, Señora!”

“And oh, watch out! There's hor—”

“—Lo sé, lo sé, lo sé!

It infuriated her.

Silently of course. Beneath rabid glimpses of anatomy. Shirt off. Pruning ivy clinging outside her second-floor balcony wall. The rope access used made his biceps bulge, buttocks delineate, and held her 60-something gaze. Even as he inadvertently knocked a hornet’s nest and yelled army-grade curses, unable to move.

She stifled giggles muttering, “What a wofflessgilipollas,” knowing he couldn’t hear.

By Ales Maze on Unsplash

MicrofictionShort Story
8

About the Creator

The Dani Writer

Explores words to create worlds with poetry, nonfiction, and fiction. Writes content that permeates then revises and edits the heck out of it. Interests: Freelance, consultations, networking, rulebook-ripping. UK-based

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Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insight

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

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Comments (9)

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  • D.K. Shepard3 months ago

    Loved the exchange of dialogue! Great story!

  • Alison McBain3 months ago

    What a great word. Congratulations on placing!

  • Teresa Renton3 months ago

    Love the word! Congratulations on placing in the challenge woo hoo 🥳

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    Haha. This is great. Congrats.

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Yeah!!! Congratulations on the runner-up win!!!

  • At last, I know what to call myself, lol!

  • Margaret Brennan4 months ago

    This is incredible. I know many people who can fit in both categories. Love it.

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Love that you included the word etymology!!! Love this story!!! It's a fantastic entry to the challenge!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Great word and anexcellent takeon the challenge

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